Sunday, November 02, 2008
today was another drama-mama.
Really, those songs weren't just being cheesy or what when they have song titles like, 'because of you' or 'you are my life' or etc. (okay i totally made up the second title, and the first title isn't really about what I mean, that's about Kelly Clarkson and her dad, and NOPE, i'm not talking about my dad here.)
Seriously, it's only when things start to get ugly, and when they get better after that, that I realise how much you affect my moods. You could make me laugh giddily for hours, and send me bawling in the showers, just with one look, one word.
Today, I knew I wasn't going to make it home even while I sat amongst busy commuters, sniffling loudly away and wiping away at those tears which kept forming no matter how much I tried to drown myself in the music in my ears. I skipped through all the sad, emo songs in my music playlist (funny how song lyrics take on totally different meanings in different contexts. When I'm happy, I could listen to a super emo song and still be smiling away in my pink, candy, fluffy world. When I'm sad, it takes only some slow guitar/piano notes to turn on those sprinklers.) and turned up the volume way high. But I couldn't get you out of my head, and I kept mulling over things and the tears kept coming, and I had no tissue and people must have been staring.. I was a mess.
And then I knew I had to head back for you. Because I would still be feeling as awful as I was even when I reached home, only much worser because everyone knows its harder to cry in front of family than strangers. And I haven't had one of those episodes where I shut myself in the room and cry my heart out for a really long time, and I didn't know if I was prepared for one then. It wouldn't matter really, even if my mom tried to talk to me or my bro tried to cheer me up, or if my dad went to drive his cab (hahah random) or what.
There was only one person in the world who could save me. (ohmygosh, I'm running a very high risk of sounding extremely cheesy. Really, those who can't stand such cheese can just blog-hop right now. haha)
You. (ohgoshh, so cheesy again. hahha. I gotta stop ruining my emo moments myself)
Okay, ignore all those parentheses. Cause even though they sound super cheesy now, it was really true at that point of time, and at just one stop before I reached my house, I got out of the train, swollen eyes and red nose and all, onto the train in the other direction. Back to where I just left you.
And, sure enough.
:)
Really, those songs weren't just being cheesy or what when they have song titles like, 'because of you' or 'you are my life' or etc. (okay i totally made up the second title, and the first title isn't really about what I mean, that's about Kelly Clarkson and her dad, and NOPE, i'm not talking about my dad here.)
Seriously, it's only when things start to get ugly, and when they get better after that, that I realise how much you affect my moods. You could make me laugh giddily for hours, and send me bawling in the showers, just with one look, one word.
Today, I knew I wasn't going to make it home even while I sat amongst busy commuters, sniffling loudly away and wiping away at those tears which kept forming no matter how much I tried to drown myself in the music in my ears. I skipped through all the sad, emo songs in my music playlist (funny how song lyrics take on totally different meanings in different contexts. When I'm happy, I could listen to a super emo song and still be smiling away in my pink, candy, fluffy world. When I'm sad, it takes only some slow guitar/piano notes to turn on those sprinklers.) and turned up the volume way high. But I couldn't get you out of my head, and I kept mulling over things and the tears kept coming, and I had no tissue and people must have been staring.. I was a mess.
And then I knew I had to head back for you. Because I would still be feeling as awful as I was even when I reached home, only much worser because everyone knows its harder to cry in front of family than strangers. And I haven't had one of those episodes where I shut myself in the room and cry my heart out for a really long time, and I didn't know if I was prepared for one then. It wouldn't matter really, even if my mom tried to talk to me or my bro tried to cheer me up, or if my dad went to drive his cab (hahah random) or what.
There was only one person in the world who could save me. (ohmygosh, I'm running a very high risk of sounding extremely cheesy. Really, those who can't stand such cheese can just blog-hop right now. haha)
You. (ohgoshh, so cheesy again. hahha. I gotta stop ruining my emo moments myself)
Okay, ignore all those parentheses. Cause even though they sound super cheesy now, it was really true at that point of time, and at just one stop before I reached my house, I got out of the train, swollen eyes and red nose and all, onto the train in the other direction. Back to where I just left you.
And, sure enough.
:)
and so, to my boy.
you've been so good to me these 14 months, and enduring all my nonsense must have been crazily tough.
once again, i promise to be a better girlfriend. (I really wanna hold true to that!)
i lar-urve you.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 1:00 AM.
