Saturday, April 28, 2007
i celebrated today.
no need to pop that wine cork it's not my last paper.
nope, not second last.
in fact, two more papers left. damn, why the duck am i celebrating really.
all thanks to my frivolous nature (-snigger), i'm left with no time to study now. so what's new.
been tagged by ros and jason to do the following meme. (is that what they're called?) so here goes.
Write 5 weird things about you, as in me, as in argh.
(anyway the original introduction isn't like that, just that i pretty much cut out a lot of crap. haha.)
1. this is going to be quite embarrassing. (oh, and i've always had a problem spelling embarrassing, does that count) i spent a good half of my life thinking my birthday was on 23rd March. well, it's not. (like duh)
2. aiyah, you should be able to tell. i've got this thing with parentheses, can't stop myself from bracketing everything up, and adding random thoughts, and random thoughts to random thoughts, and random thoughts to.. you get the idea.
3. i really only have 2 weird things about me. sorry i'm a normal jane.
4. ha. that filled up some space. hmmmmm. im thinking im thinking! i'm a huge slacker, but that doesn't count as weird. OH, i used to threaten my primary school classmates with this self-madeup theory about having to finish drawing any tornados (i think i meant typhoons, who draws either anyway. sheesh) or else something really bad will happen. call me the originator of chainmails. wahha. i know, i do sound a bit insane.
5. i've had temporary deafness from plugging in my earphones and letting radio lull me to sleep (don't ever do that, you), and had my right eye cornea scratched by a pussywillow branch. which resulted in a cornea abrasion and a lot a lot a lotttt (i can't stress it enough) of pain. it was the throw-me-off-the-building-i-don't-wanna-live kinda pain. but nobody did (throw me down the building) and now im alive and kicking, with both corneas lasik-ed. HOORAY. money makes the world go round.
now, the sweet part.
AH SENG (a.k.a diana) do this! ros and me have tagged you already, SO follow suit! hee.
i tell you, all these memes are meeting their doom being directed to me, since all i do is cut off parts i don't like and reduce numbers of people i'm supposed to pass on to. HEH.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 12:26 AM.
Monday, April 23, 2007
i told you, i'm on a roll!
maybe it's the dreary skies now. in fact, it has been that way for about a week now. is it the rainy season in singapore? educate me on geographical issues, someone.
or maybe it's cause i've just read the blog of a friend's friend, whose poignant posts (she even had the classic one, of her finding the letter her mom wrote to her when she was only 5) makes me wanna slap myself for being rude to my parents ever. and it pretty much reminded me of how, birthdays are really the anniversary of the day my mom underwent much pain and labour, to get me out into the world. really, we should be celebrating it for our moms instead. some redirection of birthday presents here? hmmm.
oh, i've disgressed.
anyway, ... oh it's raining already! okay, just the right mood. hah.
this all reminds me of the day i spent at the void deck with you, caught in the rain, not unlike those predictable channel8 shows. the rain was pouring heavy and it didn't seem like it'll stop for hours. this was years back, i even remember i insisted the location be in some ulupandan place, just cause it was in proximity of my crush's (meaning the guy i had a crush on la, in my dict) house, just IN CASE (i wasn't taught probability and chance in math yet) the crush did appear and hopefully, it'll incur his jealousy (which i, again childishly, felt would be beneficial for me). HOW CHILDISH OF ME then. but, in some sense, i was still a child! soo.
anyway, as the rain threatened to tear down the little hut-shelter we were in, i remember you suddenly putting on your headphones over my head, and telling me to listen to this song.
For a while, we stood like that. you running through the lyrics in your head, imagining the song. and me,
still replaying the moment of you putting on the headphones for me,
over and over again.
well, that was,
until i realised the singer was crying, "the rain goes onnnnnnnn. the rain goes onnnnnnn." incessantly. (it's Blame It on the Weatherman by B*witched)and then i started scolding you for choosing such a pantang song when we wanted the rain to stop (okay actually i didnt).
moment was utterly spoilt.
PLUS, you started to tell me all about this girl in your class who's just rejected your birthday present and blah blahhhhhh. (and i REALLY started wishing the rain would stop.)
nasty snap back to reality.
still, those were memories you've given me. so thanks.
and i wonder, if you still remember any of it.
maybe it's the dreary skies now. in fact, it has been that way for about a week now. is it the rainy season in singapore? educate me on geographical issues, someone.
or maybe it's cause i've just read the blog of a friend's friend, whose poignant posts (she even had the classic one, of her finding the letter her mom wrote to her when she was only 5) makes me wanna slap myself for being rude to my parents ever. and it pretty much reminded me of how, birthdays are really the anniversary of the day my mom underwent much pain and labour, to get me out into the world. really, we should be celebrating it for our moms instead. some redirection of birthday presents here? hmmm.
oh, i've disgressed.
anyway, ... oh it's raining already! okay, just the right mood. hah.
this all reminds me of the day i spent at the void deck with you, caught in the rain, not unlike those predictable channel8 shows. the rain was pouring heavy and it didn't seem like it'll stop for hours. this was years back, i even remember i insisted the location be in some ulupandan place, just cause it was in proximity of my crush's (meaning the guy i had a crush on la, in my dict) house, just IN CASE (i wasn't taught probability and chance in math yet) the crush did appear and hopefully, it'll incur his jealousy (which i, again childishly, felt would be beneficial for me). HOW CHILDISH OF ME then. but, in some sense, i was still a child! soo.
anyway, as the rain threatened to tear down the little hut-shelter we were in, i remember you suddenly putting on your headphones over my head, and telling me to listen to this song.
" Standing on the shore
Calling out your name
I was here before
I could see your face
Only clouds will see
Tears are in my eyes
Empty like my heart
Why do ya say goodbye "
For a while, we stood like that. you running through the lyrics in your head, imagining the song. and me,
still replaying the moment of you putting on the headphones for me,
over and over again.
well, that was,
until i realised the singer was crying, "the rain goes onnnnnnnn. the rain goes onnnnnnn." incessantly. (it's Blame It on the Weatherman by B*witched)and then i started scolding you for choosing such a pantang song when we wanted the rain to stop (okay actually i didnt).
moment was utterly spoilt.
PLUS, you started to tell me all about this girl in your class who's just rejected your birthday present and blah blahhhhhh. (and i REALLY started wishing the rain would stop.)
nasty snap back to reality.
still, those were memories you've given me. so thanks.
and i wonder, if you still remember any of it.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 3:13 PM.
sorry, frequent rants should be anticipated from now till end of exams.
i was TWENTY minutes late for my sociology examination!! -can't believe it.
sociology's got something against me, first i had to skip it coz of the funeral, then i was called to see the tutor, and now THIS.
the darn traffic jam at morning peak hours. IF you're sitting for 9AM papers, MAKE SURE you leave your house WAYYY before.
the stupid seemingly long jam at bukit batok tricked my mom into detouring and taking another route. to find it congested as well. i could only force myself to not look at the car clock as the minutes ticked by 9AM, and the car was jammed left, right, center. horrible. traffic should be allowed as legitimate excuses to be late, really. what if accidents happen, you can't do anything right? huh huhh. suay-ness should NOT be a criteria for failure.
i think my mom was already feeling well guilty, as she fretted and tsked at herself for making the wrong choice, so i didn't say anything. actually weirdly enough, i wasn't really freaking out on the car, i was even imagining myself retaking sociology AGAIN next term. that would be the third time. hahha.
and then came the mad dash from the car as i teared down the slope and threw my bag aside and crazily skipped from table to table, trying to find No.168. i think i must have distracted many students already in the midst of their essays. soooorrrryyyy. i even banged into a girl's table, and my apologies were a bit too loud in the otherwise silent exam hall.
with no time to think, i could only scrawl (in my WORST handwriting ever, and mine isn't really pretty to start with. shit) whatever ideas came to head.
mamami, i need help from above!!
i was TWENTY minutes late for my sociology examination!! -can't believe it.
sociology's got something against me, first i had to skip it coz of the funeral, then i was called to see the tutor, and now THIS.
the darn traffic jam at morning peak hours. IF you're sitting for 9AM papers, MAKE SURE you leave your house WAYYY before.
the stupid seemingly long jam at bukit batok tricked my mom into detouring and taking another route. to find it congested as well. i could only force myself to not look at the car clock as the minutes ticked by 9AM, and the car was jammed left, right, center. horrible. traffic should be allowed as legitimate excuses to be late, really. what if accidents happen, you can't do anything right? huh huhh. suay-ness should NOT be a criteria for failure.
i think my mom was already feeling well guilty, as she fretted and tsked at herself for making the wrong choice, so i didn't say anything. actually weirdly enough, i wasn't really freaking out on the car, i was even imagining myself retaking sociology AGAIN next term. that would be the third time. hahha.
and then came the mad dash from the car as i teared down the slope and threw my bag aside and crazily skipped from table to table, trying to find No.168. i think i must have distracted many students already in the midst of their essays. soooorrrryyyy. i even banged into a girl's table, and my apologies were a bit too loud in the otherwise silent exam hall.
with no time to think, i could only scrawl (in my WORST handwriting ever, and mine isn't really pretty to start with. shit) whatever ideas came to head.
mamami, i need help from above!!
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 11:59 AM.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
this local artist is totally inspiring! Clare Tan. she's only one year older than me, and she's already got lots to be proud of. i love some of her artworks in her online shop, the colours are joyful, but not-in-your-face happy. plus, she's got the whole sketchy swirly lines thing going.
viewing her galleries resulted in a flood of ideas while showering.
canvas shoes painting, and work on, hmm work is the wrong word. indulge. yar, indulge in creating a bigass painting for my room. and probably even repaint my room! like, murals or something. but my walls are the uneven kind, you know, those you can make out shapes of a sheep, a frog, monsters, you get the idea, just before you fall asleep(at least that's what i used to do).
so ambitious.
earth to joce, you're in NUS, not LaSelle. sigh.
pooey to those who're going, "look at her talk about her artyfarty ideas. she's not even good at drawing!" whatever guys. (i know there're some of you out there)
.
..
...
SIGH. did i just end the last post with "i have to focus."? righhhhttt.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 9:19 PM.
wah piang eh. (in a hokkien mood btw)
everyone left the exam hall with "what the hell??", "i'm about to puke","she got time to leave so early ar?!". okay, actually i was so engaged in my own bitching i didn't really hear anything. but i figure (console) that it kinda went like that everywhere.
thankfully i didn't just give up and leave three questions (out of five) blank. forced some incoherent crap out. my english was SO bad in the exam, that i'd write and cringe at the bad grammar/vocabulary.
PLUS, i totally understand how those inmates felt. for those not in the know, some prisoners in the west were subjected to days of non-stop, repetitive Christina Aguilera's songs, because the police wanted to force some info out of them. don't know if they succeeded, but i truly empathise with them. i guess some idiot forgot to switch off his/her mobile, and it kept ringing during the examination!
like, i'll be squelching all the juices in my brain trying to think up ONE interactive product (clever me, i should have seen this question coming. REALLY. i mean, my module title is Intro to Interactive Media, for duck's sake.), and then Christina will suddenly be shrieking, "Ain't no other man, can stand, up next to you...!" The stupid teacher didn't even do anything about it, though i guess he must have heard it too. The girl beside me (she's really glam anyway) kept turning her head, but like that's gonna shut Christina up. Sheesh. would have asked the teacher to do sth about it, but he was the useless, wimpy teacher of my class last sem. he would probably have been all," Ohh, the ringtone? never mind, it would probably be too troublesome to find out the source of it. let's just try to be hush-hush about it, no need to kick up a fuss now. it's just a song, anyway it's rather hip, no? Shush, maybe you can try sticking a finger in one ear?" and wasted a good fifteen minutes away. nooo thanks.
i'm so mean.
Everytime i try to coerce my mom into letting me go to UK, i feel that bit of hope growing. maybe it's cause mom's retorts are always darn weak. "Don't want lar, it's so scary!" she always ends the argument this way, and then she'll laugh. like, she knows herself it sounds pretty stupid. hahhaha. was about to say so cute, but i think it's quite gross to say that of a parent.
i had better focus now! luck to all of you studying too. (and still blog-hopping. haha) :)
P.S Di, signing off with Ah Seng in emails is a badddd idea. my mom might just chance upon it and think i'm eloping with some beng! Hee.
update: drats, my mom just added another to the list of why i should not go, cause it's too dangerous. so now, the list stands at
1. it's too dangerous
2. it's just too dangerous
3. it's too scary
4. it's so dangerous
5. it's too dangerous
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 6:45 PM.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
exhibitionists (compulsive desire to draw attention to oneself, my trusty pink dictionary says), that's what we are. frustrating sometimes, to have to decide between more tags, or more truth.
the baby boy is so cute. and he's gone all bashful, coz his psuedo sister just molested him. haha. sorry, it really wasn't meant to be porno. aiyar, actually which angmoh baby isn't cute. ...that was so racist, hmmm.
and there ARE things you can't just spit out, in this blogosphere where everyone is interlinked, and you never know who may pop by. (i'm not talking about politically sensitive issues anyway. i am sadly, apathetic towards government issues.)
that superego was fiercely battling my id, and it won in the end. and i could only save the entry as a draft. hedonist i may be, but i still do know the possible repercussions. not worth it, just for the sake of being all hotheaded and leaving my emotions bare for all to see.
anyway, since shiqin doesn't have a blog. i'll announce it here. she's just passed the dreaded driving exam! :) The odds against that were tremendous! like,
1. she only went into the circuit (all that parking techniques, manoeuvring in those squeezy lanes, fearsome metal poles) YESTERDAY. one day before her exam.
2. she drives a manual car. yes, all the frantic grabbing of gear and stepping on clutch. (all Auto losers, it's okay. we've only got our laziness to blame. and the perpetual fear of the engine dying on the slopes)
3. it was her very FIRST driving exam.
See, she's like wonderwoman. no more shi(t)qin, behold the Wonder(shit). (hahahahha. paiseh, the shit remains lar.)
I can never settle down to study. Hence, all the random photos. (the digital camera with its deletion ability has really paved the way to a vastly different photography-culture)
the baby boy is so cute. and he's gone all bashful, coz his psuedo sister just molested him. haha. sorry, it really wasn't meant to be porno. aiyar, actually which angmoh baby isn't cute. ...that was so racist, hmmm.
Furballs-tailed socks! cute. Though i cut them off after trying them out. a bit, err too childish lar. hello, i'm in the big 2s man.
When you've cut off the balls (no no, argh why does everything come out wrong today), you'll realise you're left with 2 ondeh-ondeh (though i pronounce them as oneh-oneh).
Erratic post today. must be the unbearable heat (i hate tap water at thirty degrees celsius), and banging of construction trucks below. Somehow, noise just raises the temperature up a few notches, no?
first exam, Saturday.
hoorayy! the start of the end.
got to stop exciting myself silly (no such phrase, i should think) and s-t-u-d-y.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 3:41 PM.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
All Grown Up
The eraser used to be the one magic tool,
nasty little squiggle at the end of the r?
Erase it away, no worries.
But soon, we were introduced to crayons, paint, and finally pens.
you think, liquid paper never seems to do what the eraser could.
The day arrives when you wake up,
stare into the mirror, and try to rub away that dirt on your face.
but you soon realise it ain't no grime.
pimples have arrived.
One day
you'll understand.
some blemishes, are here to stay forever.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spent last Sunday at the mortuary. It's strangely comforting, to see the photo of gonggong popo together. The one photo they took together, and it's used before their urns. but still, it does take a lot of the sadness away, to know that gonggong ain't alone anymore. Or so, we choose to believe.
The mortuary was crowded. Remove the rows and rows of urns, and the thousands of lighted joss sticks, and one can easily mistake it to be a picnic gathering of families. Everyone's loaded with bags of food (some paper), and it's obvious some hasn't seen the other family members for a long time, from the way they chat excitedly. Everything has a function, religious rites have theirs hidden. Sociology has taught well.
Disappointed that the elders haven't bothered to organise a lunch for afterwards though, and we splitted ways so fast.
Examinations lurk ahead. okayy, they aren't that sinister actually. but they're still evil. muahaha.
still trying in vain, to get my mom to give me the green light to head to UK alone. she's been having temporal cases of deafness even before i can get the words "i can just sit put in the plane and not move! not dangerous one!" out. and my dad's just letting my mom decide. sigh.
if it isn't UK, HK might do it.
At least, i think there's the trip to the zoo to cheer me up. :)
The eraser used to be the one magic tool,
nasty little squiggle at the end of the r?
Erase it away, no worries.
But soon, we were introduced to crayons, paint, and finally pens.
you think, liquid paper never seems to do what the eraser could.
The day arrives when you wake up,
stare into the mirror, and try to rub away that dirt on your face.
but you soon realise it ain't no grime.
pimples have arrived.
One day
you'll understand.
some blemishes, are here to stay forever.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spent last Sunday at the mortuary. It's strangely comforting, to see the photo of gonggong popo together. The one photo they took together, and it's used before their urns. but still, it does take a lot of the sadness away, to know that gonggong ain't alone anymore. Or so, we choose to believe.
The mortuary was crowded. Remove the rows and rows of urns, and the thousands of lighted joss sticks, and one can easily mistake it to be a picnic gathering of families. Everyone's loaded with bags of food (some paper), and it's obvious some hasn't seen the other family members for a long time, from the way they chat excitedly. Everything has a function, religious rites have theirs hidden. Sociology has taught well.
Disappointed that the elders haven't bothered to organise a lunch for afterwards though, and we splitted ways so fast.
Examinations lurk ahead. okayy, they aren't that sinister actually. but they're still evil. muahaha.
still trying in vain, to get my mom to give me the green light to head to UK alone. she's been having temporal cases of deafness even before i can get the words "i can just sit put in the plane and not move! not dangerous one!" out. and my dad's just letting my mom decide. sigh.
if it isn't UK, HK might do it.
At least, i think there's the trip to the zoo to cheer me up. :)
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 12:36 PM.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
it's HER birthday. (don't stare too long at the drawing. it starts to look a bit weird after some time. haha. i tried though!)
it's birthday artfreak time! (we couldn't resist)
yes, she was in a ice-cream eating competition all by herself. wahhaa.
PRECISELY. okayy actually no. i can think of a million reasons why we do stuffs that are NOT fun. like cleaning our asses, doing homework, blahblah.
but i do know what they're trying to get at.
the scene in the study, after the funny scene where mabel was boxed up, and Mrs Yapit got REALLY curious, and it got kinda awkward when mab popped up.
we'll be celebrating each others' birthdays for as long as we can stand it. WAHHAA.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 11:18 PM.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
i have no time and energy to study!
How can I, when i'm all occupied with DebbieTravis and busroutes and personality tests. (it's funny, that we are so interested in hearing people tell us what we already know.)
i mean, i have like my priorities totally right! so where did i go wrong?
wah, i am so boliao.
oh, anyway the part about me falling love a thousand times is true! i almost fell in love with just a voice and firm fingers yesterday. kinda sucks that i never lifted my eyes, and i'll never recognise him! all i can muster up, is a blurry image of a green shirt. that's all. oh, but then he might just be thinking i'm some kinda fool. who in the right mind (though my mind kinda stopped working momentarily) says sorry after having someone step hard on your slipper-clad foot.
one, whose heart pounds even long after that encounter maybe.
How can I, when i'm all occupied with DebbieTravis and busroutes and personality tests. (it's funny, that we are so interested in hearing people tell us what we already know.)
i mean, i have like my priorities totally right! so where did i go wrong?
wah, i am so boliao.
oh, anyway the part about me falling love a thousand times is true! i almost fell in love with just a voice and firm fingers yesterday. kinda sucks that i never lifted my eyes, and i'll never recognise him! all i can muster up, is a blurry image of a green shirt. that's all. oh, but then he might just be thinking i'm some kinda fool. who in the right mind (though my mind kinda stopped working momentarily) says sorry after having someone step hard on your slipper-clad foot.
one, whose heart pounds even long after that encounter maybe.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 3:35 PM.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
yet, another superficial entry.
really, just to thank all my gift-givers. Seriously, birthday people (or maybe just girls, okay maybe just ME) are the sorest, most sensitive, moody people around. So, THANK YOU ALL who bothered. :)
Yiqiao's bling and slacks!! She's trying not to miss out, stretching across the two extremes of glamour queen to beach-chick. (seriously, i can't seem to find the right words for anything suddenly. ARGH) stop fretting that i won't like them yar! cause i do! plus, material presents aren't the most precious of all you've given me, bestie. :)
Jiurong and Shiqin's package. TheFaceShop essentials + handmade cards! i'm a sucker for homemade stuffs, so thankewwwww. :)
Fuzzy, Aud, Mab T.'s PINK PINK PINKKKKK couch jewellery box. it's all loaded up already, with the shiny chain and the key (not really the same as a keychain ya). plus, the yellow card is so youuu fuzz! love it. :) and i had the whole troop crooning happy birthday in japanese to me in Kster. the perks of having mates learning japanese. -grins. 
speaking of birthdays, there's a certain one i can't miss out, coming up. ahemmmmm.
this really swanky car at Vivo's carpark.(after starspotting Edmund Chen! he's soo goodlooking, and he was playing catching with his children at the stairs! so c it's damn low, shines a cool black, AND it has a SFL1M for a license number. there were MANY people gawking at it. even saw this uncle was rushing back to the car with a digital camera in hand.
I'm feeling so bogged down by the stupid (a better word, brain) JS project essay. Not that i'm writing it, just feeling shitty cause i know i'll have to get down to it, by like tomorrow? BAH. but i do wanna get it out of the way. before i procrastinate about studies. haha. okayy, flunking university isn't that funny. ahh whatever.
good night.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 12:08 AM.
