Friday, September 30, 2005
blogger's being all weird now.
i got lost again. its the third time in a row, and everytime di and i will be the only lost ones. hahhaa. i think we jinx each other. awww. if only we werent both girls, it might seem pretty romantic. hahhaha. ive been saying things like that a lot recently.
a frown is so unpretty. -grins.
anyhoos. hahha. Kboxed FINALLY today after phy remedial. and then we went over to Shiqin's house. guessed we were all too pooped to really have fun, even though our brains didnt wanna go home. hahha. still, the dried mee were great, shiqin! or rather, shiqin's maid!
yarr. then we got lost. me and di took 851 which started bringing us away from yiochukang mrt, and towards novena, balestier, angmohkio. hahha. we were so used to it, (getting lost) we hardly flinched but just waited coolly for the bus to come to a familiar place. hahha.
after being stranded at busy highways, left in the dark in deserted housing estates, nothing much can scare us anymore eh?
ohwells. something good came out of it. i got my AngieTheChoice Durianroll. (yummmm) and she got her Meiwu Prunes. (it doesnt sound cheena ok??)
gonna post a few random photos.
damn. i forgot what it's called. but all the same, its a darn good dessert i had with my class at Big O's. aahhh. 
Rover's being bullied by me. and he doesnt like it one bit. hahha. this is was when the class was over at Di's house.
mahjong at Yen's house. yepp. this was when the scariest lost-trip was yet.
i got lost again. its the third time in a row, and everytime di and i will be the only lost ones. hahhaa. i think we jinx each other. awww. if only we werent both girls, it might seem pretty romantic. hahhaha. ive been saying things like that a lot recently.
a frown is so unpretty. -grins.
anyhoos. hahha. Kboxed FINALLY today after phy remedial. and then we went over to Shiqin's house. guessed we were all too pooped to really have fun, even though our brains didnt wanna go home. hahha. still, the dried mee were great, shiqin! or rather, shiqin's maid!
yarr. then we got lost. me and di took 851 which started bringing us away from yiochukang mrt, and towards novena, balestier, angmohkio. hahha. we were so used to it, (getting lost) we hardly flinched but just waited coolly for the bus to come to a familiar place. hahha.
after being stranded at busy highways, left in the dark in deserted housing estates, nothing much can scare us anymore eh?
ohwells. something good came out of it. i got my AngieTheChoice Durianroll. (yummmm) and she got her Meiwu Prunes. (it doesnt sound cheena ok??)
gonna post a few random photos.
damn. i forgot what it's called. but all the same, its a darn good dessert i had with my class at Big O's. aahhh. 
Rover's being bullied by me. and he doesnt like it one bit. hahha. this is was when the class was over at Di's house.
mahjong at Yen's house. yepp. this was when the scariest lost-trip was yet.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 9:23 PM.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
the day you slipped away.
slipped away.
was the day i found it wont be the same.
wont be the same.
i am so tired mentally. i dont want to deal with anything, and the weaker me just wants to run away from everything. but that aint any solution. cause we always have to return back.
why. why do i feel so sad.
guess, its a lot of things. like, suddenly the rainbow's been snatched away again. our damn break's over. gloomy-looking clouds are hanging all over us, and lesser smiles go around. and its so hard. so tiring.
NO. i need to CHEER UP.
booo. cheer up girl. :) babuseng!
slipped away.
was the day i found it wont be the same.
wont be the same.
i am so tired mentally. i dont want to deal with anything, and the weaker me just wants to run away from everything. but that aint any solution. cause we always have to return back.
why. why do i feel so sad.
guess, its a lot of things. like, suddenly the rainbow's been snatched away again. our damn break's over. gloomy-looking clouds are hanging all over us, and lesser smiles go around. and its so hard. so tiring.
NO. i need to CHEER UP.
booo. cheer up girl. :) babuseng!
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 7:28 PM.
Monday, September 26, 2005
crazyy. these five days. have been great fun, if not really occupying of my time.
i actually went KAYAKING and cycling today!! like, great fun lar! whooops. just used tt twice.
bleugh. i dont know what else to blog about.
all the photos are with di. cant wait for her to send.
bye.
i actually went KAYAKING and cycling today!! like, great fun lar! whooops. just used tt twice.
bleugh. i dont know what else to blog about.
all the photos are with di. cant wait for her to send.
bye.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 9:48 PM.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
i am seeing a lot of lightning bouts in the sky. frequent and rather massive-scaled.
and im telling everybody that they're from US, because the thunderstorms have just invaded them.
there i go again. trying to inject more life into my er. life.
im down with the flu and a slight fever. being sick translates into being grouchy.
was in town with my family today, and i started getting really moody and displayed horrid attitudes to my parents, just because my hearing started to get really muffled with all the sneezing. after some time, i snapped out of it. finally. and my mom actually wanted to get me a Roxy/Ripcurl skirt! along with a Ripcurl surfbag for my brother. but all thanks to me(parts of me), i left with nothing but a low self-esteem and bitching a lot in my heart at the salesgirl who just kept staring. bloody you, somehow i get the feeling you're scorning us. go to hell.
sorry. pardon my french.
probably going to have to cancel my date with yiqiao tomorrow, if this flu bug doesnt leave by noon tomorrow. arghh. havent seen her for so long. ohh. actually i did. erm, havent really talked to her in so long.
i wanna snap out of it, mab.
oh. and we had a fourie birthday party for mab at Jervois Lodge. (hahhaa. i just like to do that.) twas fun while it lasted. sobs that we had to crunch down our zingers quick enough before the time bomb exploded. boooo. never mind never mind. at least, everything kinda worked to plan? just that the shells and fishes wouldnt light up for long enough, and the wallet was white, and.. okay. imperfections are reality.
we have to start mugging for As? why do i feel otherwise?
i need to feel happy again. ill even settle for a neutral mood actually. there has been a tad too much gloom going around.
and im telling everybody that they're from US, because the thunderstorms have just invaded them.
there i go again. trying to inject more life into my er. life.
im down with the flu and a slight fever. being sick translates into being grouchy.
was in town with my family today, and i started getting really moody and displayed horrid attitudes to my parents, just because my hearing started to get really muffled with all the sneezing. after some time, i snapped out of it. finally. and my mom actually wanted to get me a Roxy/Ripcurl skirt! along with a Ripcurl surfbag for my brother. but all thanks to me(parts of me), i left with nothing but a low self-esteem and bitching a lot in my heart at the salesgirl who just kept staring. bloody you, somehow i get the feeling you're scorning us. go to hell.
sorry. pardon my french.
probably going to have to cancel my date with yiqiao tomorrow, if this flu bug doesnt leave by noon tomorrow. arghh. havent seen her for so long. ohh. actually i did. erm, havent really talked to her in so long.
i wanna snap out of it, mab.
oh. and we had a fourie birthday party for mab at Jervois Lodge. (hahhaa. i just like to do that.) twas fun while it lasted. sobs that we had to crunch down our zingers quick enough before the time bomb exploded. boooo. never mind never mind. at least, everything kinda worked to plan? just that the shells and fishes wouldnt light up for long enough, and the wallet was white, and.. okay. imperfections are reality.
we have to start mugging for As? why do i feel otherwise?
i need to feel happy again. ill even settle for a neutral mood actually. there has been a tad too much gloom going around.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 11:30 PM.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
now. just a little farther. stretch those muscles in your fingers.
arggg. stretchhhhh. you are starting to wish your fingernails were longer.
your fingers are all twisted and your hand in a contorted position. but it doesnt matter. all you know is that you have to reach out, further.
you can almost feel the slight air around it. deep and slow breaths are taken in, without moving an inch away.
your knuckles are turning white, your brows wet with sweat, intent eyes straight ahead with tears starting to well up from not blinking.
your face as ugly as it is determined.
yes!
mustering up all your strength, you swipe at it forcefully.
alas, you had grabbed air, grazing the sweet.
all you left on the sticky sweet, were your grimy fingerprints.
shaking your head, you turn away.
its okay. ill try again tomorrow.
my dear prelims, you are so close to your end and i hope you know it.
arggg. stretchhhhh. you are starting to wish your fingernails were longer.
your fingers are all twisted and your hand in a contorted position. but it doesnt matter. all you know is that you have to reach out, further.
you can almost feel the slight air around it. deep and slow breaths are taken in, without moving an inch away.
your knuckles are turning white, your brows wet with sweat, intent eyes straight ahead with tears starting to well up from not blinking.
your face as ugly as it is determined.
yes!
mustering up all your strength, you swipe at it forcefully.
alas, you had grabbed air, grazing the sweet.
all you left on the sticky sweet, were your grimy fingerprints.
shaking your head, you turn away.
its okay. ill try again tomorrow.
my dear prelims, you are so close to your end and i hope you know it.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 3:14 PM.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
okayy. so ive got something to add on to what i wrote in the last entry.
diana told me her views, and i must say im pretty suayed by them.
9/16/2005
11:33:39 PM
solaris rocks (: *di. i'm slipping off the edge. Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]}
eh but i think the fact that that kinda things cheer people up is that you're not alone.
9/16/2005
11:34:10 PM
solaris rocks (: *di. i'm slipping off the edge. Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]}
not so much that someone else is doing worse but more of i'm not alone in this.
9/16/2005
11:34:19 PM
solaris rocks (: *di. i'm slipping off the edge. Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]}
that someone understands what i'm going through kinda thing?
yep. that makes sense.
diana told me her views, and i must say im pretty suayed by them.
9/16/2005
11:33:39 PM
solaris rocks (: *di. i'm slipping off the edge. Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]}
eh but i think the fact that that kinda things cheer people up is that you're not alone.
9/16/2005
11:34:10 PM
solaris rocks (: *di. i'm slipping off the edge. Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]}
not so much that someone else is doing worse but more of i'm not alone in this.
9/16/2005
11:34:19 PM
solaris rocks (: *di. i'm slipping off the edge. Who You Gonna Call?{[F.b.U.]}
that someone understands what i'm going through kinda thing?
yep. that makes sense.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 6:23 PM.
Friday, September 16, 2005
we have to put a stop to this. somehow the best comfort we can give to another student who's depressed over his results is, how we fluked at our own exams too. and the best scorer ends us not being able to share his joy and even ending up as the 'bad' person, the one's who been mugging away. like, you didnt mug.
we really should start competing with OURSELVES. (by that i meant, like, your OWN self.) and dont turn your envy into anger.
its really stupid. how this mugging-is-stupid-and-muggers-too thinking is depriving us of being able to study without hiding from friends who'll point fingers and mutter nasty stuffs behind you.
i dont want to be a hypocrite, so ill have to live up to what i write.
we really should start competing with OURSELVES. (by that i meant, like, your OWN self.) and dont turn your envy into anger.
its really stupid. how this mugging-is-stupid-and-muggers-too thinking is depriving us of being able to study without hiding from friends who'll point fingers and mutter nasty stuffs behind you.
i dont want to be a hypocrite, so ill have to live up to what i write.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 11:09 PM.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
its always scary at the start when the whole page is fresh and clean. but keep going, and soon the words will pour out.
okayy. im kinda here to write about how happy i am with life? (hahha. yes. i meant that as a question mark.) its all happy here so far. in spite of the looming (really looming. its only a day away.) Preliminary Examinations, in spite of the A-levels a month later. Like i told mab, im really glad for the examinations sometimes (let me explain!!). without it, there would be no such stuffs as post-exams euphoria and celebrations and all. really, we wouldnt be treasuring the whole-year free time we would have without exams. simply because we humans never can, never can treasure something till we lose it. im not being melancholic here. just stating matter of factly.
and its okayy. it isnt the end of the world if you cant finish the last few booklets of notes, cant go around to starting on the various exam papers. life's what we make out of it. and if we fail this ACADEMIC examination, so be it. there are more examinations, academic and non-academic to come. to challenge us. im sorry if you cant see any sense in what im writing and write me off as a cheesy person who's got rose-tinted glasses stuck to her face. but i do mean it. at least right now i do.
maybe its my mother. she's a great woman really. i dont model myself after her because we're two different beings. but i do learn from her principles in life. i remember just last year. after the last paper of Promotional Examinations, i came home and started sobbing like mad into my pillow. In my mind, were images of my classmates comparing the answers and me gradually growing silent as the realisation that i had answered nothing correctly hit me. all i could think about is how i was going to retain for sure, and how i was going to be an loner next year amongst the new year ones. i remembered how my grandmother had patted me on my shoulder and told me that i was her only hope to be an university student. i cried like mad. i think i had the room door closed and locked. didnt want my family to chance upon me at such a state. (funny how i dont like my family to see me at my weakest time.) but my mother started probing and i let them in, my mom and bro. still think its really sweet how my bro tried to comfort me, albeit the awkwardness.
my mom was the one reassuring me that she's never been the one to place too much emphasis on our education. she was totally alright if i was going to retain. even suggested that if anything, i could jolly well repeat another year after my year two if i still couldnt make the grade. she was okay with it all. i was so grateful she wasnt disillusioned like many other parents are, placing top emphasis on results. and im not going to be too.
so please, to all students out there. this road to academic success was never meant to be a tortorous one. and you can help make it not. dont blame all on the education authorities. you have a role to.
be accepting of failures. we'd be much happier.
okayy. im kinda here to write about how happy i am with life? (hahha. yes. i meant that as a question mark.) its all happy here so far. in spite of the looming (really looming. its only a day away.) Preliminary Examinations, in spite of the A-levels a month later. Like i told mab, im really glad for the examinations sometimes (let me explain!!). without it, there would be no such stuffs as post-exams euphoria and celebrations and all. really, we wouldnt be treasuring the whole-year free time we would have without exams. simply because we humans never can, never can treasure something till we lose it. im not being melancholic here. just stating matter of factly.
and its okayy. it isnt the end of the world if you cant finish the last few booklets of notes, cant go around to starting on the various exam papers. life's what we make out of it. and if we fail this ACADEMIC examination, so be it. there are more examinations, academic and non-academic to come. to challenge us. im sorry if you cant see any sense in what im writing and write me off as a cheesy person who's got rose-tinted glasses stuck to her face. but i do mean it. at least right now i do.
maybe its my mother. she's a great woman really. i dont model myself after her because we're two different beings. but i do learn from her principles in life. i remember just last year. after the last paper of Promotional Examinations, i came home and started sobbing like mad into my pillow. In my mind, were images of my classmates comparing the answers and me gradually growing silent as the realisation that i had answered nothing correctly hit me. all i could think about is how i was going to retain for sure, and how i was going to be an loner next year amongst the new year ones. i remembered how my grandmother had patted me on my shoulder and told me that i was her only hope to be an university student. i cried like mad. i think i had the room door closed and locked. didnt want my family to chance upon me at such a state. (funny how i dont like my family to see me at my weakest time.) but my mother started probing and i let them in, my mom and bro. still think its really sweet how my bro tried to comfort me, albeit the awkwardness.
my mom was the one reassuring me that she's never been the one to place too much emphasis on our education. she was totally alright if i was going to retain. even suggested that if anything, i could jolly well repeat another year after my year two if i still couldnt make the grade. she was okay with it all. i was so grateful she wasnt disillusioned like many other parents are, placing top emphasis on results. and im not going to be too.
so please, to all students out there. this road to academic success was never meant to be a tortorous one. and you can help make it not. dont blame all on the education authorities. you have a role to.
be accepting of failures. we'd be much happier.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 11:18 PM.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
part two.
married couples fight. and so, you couldnt expect the three maidens and the princess to not have a little bickering once and then.
and so it was. bicker here. and bicker there.
Sometimes you even see Princess Mabel doing the gaspp. the. the finger. Oh. but it wasnt just on her part.
the fury in their faces. oh lo fair maidens. and so, they had their little arguments and disagreements.
it couldnt be helped. even in the toilets.
there were times when the maidens and the princess just didnt see eye to eye, and they were angry at everyone and themselves at that time.
(by the way, it was the in thing to wear grey cloths. grey was happenin in their land.)
but all good things have to come to an end. and so do bad things. (hahha.) and so evil stuffs like squabbling aint allowed in the fairyland the four lived in.
and
they made up.
always did.
mabel mabel! my focus point kinda drifted away because i felt too conked out. it was midnight! so here i am in the morning to emphasise my point.
it's your birthday today, and it calls for celebration. because it was this very day that allowed us to spend so many happy, unhappy, glum, boring, awkward, happy, happy moments together. all the things we did, we couldnt have done it without you. i doubt our foursome could ever have made it as a threesome. we love you and i love you too.
and so to this very day when you were born, cheers!
married couples fight. and so, you couldnt expect the three maidens and the princess to not have a little bickering once and then.
and so it was. bicker here. and bicker there.
Sometimes you even see Princess Mabel doing the gaspp. the. the finger. Oh. but it wasnt just on her part.
the fury in their faces. oh lo fair maidens. and so, they had their little arguments and disagreements.
it couldnt be helped. even in the toilets.
there were times when the maidens and the princess just didnt see eye to eye, and they were angry at everyone and themselves at that time.
(by the way, it was the in thing to wear grey cloths. grey was happenin in their land.)
but all good things have to come to an end. and so do bad things. (hahha.) and so evil stuffs like squabbling aint allowed in the fairyland the four lived in.and
they made up.
always did.
mabel mabel! my focus point kinda drifted away because i felt too conked out. it was midnight! so here i am in the morning to emphasise my point.
it's your birthday today, and it calls for celebration. because it was this very day that allowed us to spend so many happy, unhappy, glum, boring, awkward, happy, happy moments together. all the things we did, we couldnt have done it without you. i doubt our foursome could ever have made it as a threesome. we love you and i love you too.
and so to this very day when you were born, cheers!
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 3:00 PM.
Monday, September 05, 2005
it is twelve o'clock. u like my blog song? i think its okayy. used to think it's really nice. until i heard it and realised how noisy it really is.
headache pounding. pound pound pound.
owww.
went to Kbox today.
headache pounding. pound pound pound.
owww.
went to Kbox today.
ahh. nothing much alsoo. a lot of shouting into the mic in fact. ohwells. me and my brother were a hoot in Coldstorage though. (or shop&save. or NTUC. arghh. no idea.) we were fooling around with everything. hahha. cant remember how so wont elaborate.
i think its because the huge room complete with pooltable and several sets of sofas and 3 LCD TV sets and outdoor barbeque pits, has suddenly been reduced into this teeny room. (so tempted to say teeny shit. hahha. but i think i'll start to put people off.)
hey, my headache's still hanging around. SHOOOO! dang.
how many girls can swing and look up into stars in their own room. i can.
sorry. just a random way to make myself feel better about myself.
my english suckkks!
whooops. that's unhealthy for my morale.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 12:05 AM.
Friday, September 02, 2005
hello. i have to try facing myself again.
after that whole crying episode.
i shouldnt give in to my own brain. when i let the greyness engulf me, i cant stop. i just sink. lower until i have no more tears to give.
i am able to summon them up so easily. its still as painful though. that doesnt change.
im stupid that way. i can cry all by myself while on a bus. and still think, "at least i can tick yes if a survey ever asks if ive ever cried on public transportations." im a freak.
i can see them again. its goood. i need to see them anyway. get away from me.
stop it.
after that whole crying episode.
i shouldnt give in to my own brain. when i let the greyness engulf me, i cant stop. i just sink. lower until i have no more tears to give.
i am able to summon them up so easily. its still as painful though. that doesnt change.
im stupid that way. i can cry all by myself while on a bus. and still think, "at least i can tick yes if a survey ever asks if ive ever cried on public transportations." im a freak.
i can see them again. its goood. i need to see them anyway. get away from me.
stop it.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 12:30 AM.
