Friday, January 18, 2008
its times like today that make me step back from us, and ponder on all the things that've happened, all the changes in me.
when you and your friend said goodbye to me at the doorway, and i had to turn and leave, it suddenly struck me that, it has been quite a while. quite a while since i've walked a path alone. since i haven't had your hand in mine, your arm around me. since i've had the time to think about thoughts myself, and talk inwardly to myself. since i've started to feel conscious about the world beyond us, and all the strangers around. since i've had to lead myself down the stairs. since i've had an empty seat beside me on the bus.
since i felt, so alone.
it's quite alarming, just four months over, and i'm already feeling like i would crumple and die if i didn't see, talk or hear from you for more than a day. or is the short period of time we are together, the exact reason why im feeling this way? hmm.
maybe it isnt the best of choices i had made, okay i didnt exactly make it, but that i had allowed myself to gradually, but surely, be totally dependent on your company, on you being there physically and mentally. for you to wholly and solely fill up my life. but turning back doesn't seem to be a choice any longer.
only four months over. goodness. love is a scary thing.
anyways, that day me, audrey, yaozong, weiye and dear went to sentosa. it was SUPPOSED to be a cutenachos outing, but anyone who can count would have realised it was a really really meagre number of people who turned up. but it's alright!! because we had funn anyway! :D
oh and i cut my fringe, so now ive got bangs for the first time since i was a kid!! you can laugh, but not in my face k! cause i like them! :)
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 10:13 PM.
