<body>


Friday, June 30, 2006

I came to work, all light-headed.
was an whole hour late. because i smart-aleck, didn't bother putting my alarm to snooze, just pressed it away and returned to the inviting warm covers.
and I was whisked away, to lala land. the most romantic of romantic dreams.
sometimes, dreams just has this weird way of letting you get so stuck in it, even long after you've woken up to brash reality.
this one i had did.
I was in some disneyland place. or something. but there were rides around and all.
What happened before what was going to happen was a blur and all. But i just know this guy really liked me. (anyway, i remember who this guy was. But the thing is, now i totally dont believe that we dream about what we were thinkin of in the day. Cause I've like, never thought or harboured any thoughts about this guy. ohwells. at least he isnt frikking ugly or what.) and he was totally showing it, and then we held hands.
okay, i cant just sum it up like that. the whole holding hands part is like SO important. Cause we kinda brushed our fingers. (if you think this is sounding R-rated, then dont read lar! actually it also sounds R-rated to me. haha.) Like, our fingerpads just brushed against each other so ever lightly and gently. Goshh. The sensation I felt was like, over-powering. Felt like melting into his arms. Was that lust i felt? if it is, lust is a really beautiful thing.

And I've changed my mindset. Who cares all bout the timeline of dating, like 2weeks before you hold hands, few months before you kiss etc etc. Just go with the mood mannnn. :)

haha(mirthless laughter) , I think I'm starting to suffer the long-term effects of singlehood.

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 1:24 PM.
Thursday, June 29, 2006

you know when you're attached to a computer for nine hours a day, everyday, you cant help but blog about every nitty gritty detail that happens. i.e. me biting on my swollen lip.

so the drama rama happenin right now is that my stomach feels all funny. no, i dont think its because im meeting taiyi, grace and yiqiao later. not first date no. anyway, im no longer surprised when plans turn 180degrees when it comes to them. mm.

old-school crackers are bad. bad for me. you know those that are no branded, or some really obscure name that nobody bothers to remember. And always going at super-cheap prices. I mean, they have to. otherwise everyone will be getting Lays and JacknJill and what's not. Oh wait, JacknJill's an oldschool brand right. anyway, this prawn cracker bag i got from Watsons, was priced at 85cents. bleahhh. the crackers were all powdered in this red colouring, totally different from the crisp golden shell on the display packing. and it causes stomach to feel funny.

okayy, whimpering and whining over. you guys can go on with your lives now.

oh, and guess what. Boss's husband just stepped into office. and i had a hoho-i-cant-laugh period when he told me, "Oh, you called from this list hur? Dont need to call from this list. You call from this list instead."

thanks MAN.

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 5:26 PM.

haha, the girl who sits behind me (okay actually she's almost 30. i should stop refering to everyone as girls and guys.) isn't here yet. meaning there's technically no one in the office who will know if im working, or blogging on the com. *evil snort.
Gee, I have to call up tons of lighting companies, and request for information on their company when I hardly have any substantial details about what I've to offer. Drats. I detest carrying out tasks that have unclear instructions. :(
oh, and pardon for the outburst below. but sometimes darn, damn, shit can hardly replace fuck as the word to use when conveying the extreme irritation and anger experienced. Hence the expletives.

I need socks! My feet are freezing, and I've to sit cross-legged and tuck my legs in, so as to protect them from the blistering cold air-con draft in the office. :(

Today saw me donating my ever greatest amount of money to a street artist. Okay, street artist sounds fake, like too refined for the old man whom i donated to. He was wearing uber-loud clogs, harmonica in mouth and .. whoops, i forgot what his hands were holding but probably some horn or something. Wheezing into the harmonica forcefully, the singlet-clad old man was dancing in a jigly manner, shooting up into the air in short jumps while moving around in a circle. The clogs were going clik-clak, clik-clak, accompanying the music from the harmonica. The old man just seemed so sincere, and so giving his all. OHHH. I remember now, he was juggling some colourful balls with his hands. Pro right.
Anyway, I was touched to say the least, my heart went out to him and I dropped a $2 note into his hat. Felt a slight pang of regret when I saw the manyy notes and coins already there though. Like, maybe he didnt need so much. But ohwells! $2 is hardly any loss to me, or you if you think about it. So hopefully, he's got nice people taking care of and loving him.

Arghh, I dont wanna return to calling people up.
Bleah.

Will be venturing into cheapo-stuffs-clad Bugis Street with Yiqiao later.
And I've developed ALL MY PHOTOS. A whooping grand sum of five hundred and sixty five photos. No joke!! I lugged the bagful of photos from Tanjong Pagar to Bukit Batok, and I swore they weigh at least 3kg.
Anyway, I was quite shocked with the lack of sense of responsiblity in the Kodak Staff. They didn't even bother to check through my whole bag of photos, and only when I began rifling through them out of boredom while they processed my GoCard, that I saw unfamiliar faces staring up at me.
There was like 50 photos from someone else's camera stashed with mine! GEE! The least the Kodak people could do when I informed them about that was to thank me for saving their asses. But no, they behaved like it was an everyday affair (probably is) to have photos misplaced.
"Yar, they're not yours." and just took the photos away from me. Leaving me all befuddled and highly suspecting if they've got some of MY photos mingled with other customers'. (and so I came home and counted every one of my photos, at least my photos were safely in my hands.)

Holidaying in July anyone?

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 12:57 PM.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006

fuck!!
damnit. i just bit down on my lower lip. which was already swollen coz i've bitten it just that day.
damnit, its bleeding a lot.
fuck fuck fuck.

bloody guava. bloody suay.

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 4:20 PM.
Monday, June 26, 2006

Luke Keioskie - Room One Nineteen

don't read it. if you do come across it, plan it so that you read the ending in the day.

and not just before you're about to go to sleep in a house that suddenly seems strangely eerie.

heehee. all that said, i hope mab gets freaked out too.

i pray for ten pm to never come.

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 3:53 PM.
Sunday, June 25, 2006

its true, you should NEVER say no to blogging, nor procrastinate when blogging. because its an (everyone chant along now!) old vicious cycle!

for the record, last weekend FourG got together, LIKE finally. okay, actually its because i haven't been going to the gatherings for like, two years. baddd bad joce. well, you all know how it is when your closest girlfriend has a boyfriend, thus rendering group gatherings to be rather an inconvenience to her. and she doesn't attend, and you can't and won't too. sigh.
anyway, me and gracie and yiqiao and alex (too many ands really) (OH GOSH, i forgot all about huaishu)went to leeweisong music school to support taiyi in this singing competition. there were kids in the semi-finals, pretty shocking. but turned out the 2 of them, who were mixed-race brothers, were darn cute and had voices brimming with potential.


and that's taiyi. She was waving those butterfly-winged sleeves all around, easily the most confident performer really. and i think her voice's like, grown levels since she joined the school. :)

ciao2 yiqiao's xingfu expression. makes me happy to see her happy. that wrinkled-neck (i did not just say that.) NS man better treat her good, even with the pounds shed.

gracie!! wahhh, chio-er by each day. i should know, I've known her for ..(counts on fingers) TWELVE years now!

And then it was a quick taxi-ride down to Clarke Quay, we were all extremely late for the dinner at Asylum's.

damn that hand!! ARGHHHH. some salmon fish, delicately designed so we wouldnt notice how small it actually is, by trying to colour the empty portion of the plate with black sauce and chopped bits of rainbow veges. BUT WE STILL REALISED IT WAS FREAKIN SMALL, CHEATER RESTAURANT. $18 BUCKS DONT PLAY PLAY.everyone you see in this photo are here for the FourG gathering. plus, there were still people behind me. We were on our very loonng way to Esplanade. it was a class out, in full force.

wenda, shuying and grace. I love it that you all see me as a friend.


Someone suggested a group photo all of a sudden while people were rushing off for their midnight buses and all. that explains the much-lesser-than-actual number of people. it was already past midnight then. And i had my ride home with grace! :D was awesome just listening to her doing her crazy ranting (in a good way). and it was more than an hour's ride. pulled the years apart closer.
and a few days ago, me and mab trooped over to di's house for a long-awaited for sleepover.
but that's another chapter.

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 10:43 PM.
Saturday, June 17, 2006

and i've got a new favourite telly show! :D
High School Reunion II. - 1am till 2am. (its like a whole barrage of great shows in a row. u've got 2hours worth of great drama-Desperate Housewives, from 11pm to 1am before that.)
This whole reality series is just so real. and everyone can relate to it, no matter what different names our education institutions dorn, we've all got a high-school story to tell.

There's the beauty of the class, the geek who's been forever cast aside even at the reunion. The closet gay who finally opened up, unlike his uncomfortable self in high school. The cliquish cheerleading girls. The heartthrob who married his longtime-girlfriend,who's in the class too, immediately after high-school, but it ended up in divorce.

These people haven't seen each other in ten years, eons i say! but no strangers. Not when you've seen those classmates in school for about four years. The years of memories just flood back in a tirade - him with the shy grin, her with the bitchy-ness, him with that hot bod and girlfriend to match, her with her plain looks and wallflower persona. The barricade comes apart and the years apart just disappears. Past and present are suddenly fused and seamed together.

I'm wondering how it would be like if i were to meet up with my primary school mates. Lots of memories back there, a lot of silly embarrassing ones. but it would be an experience, no doubt.

and to soothe the flustered, its still me. i haven't gotten hacked. Just put a few hours of work to productive blogskin.com use. :D

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 2:01 AM.
Monday, June 12, 2006

there must be wrong beneath all these im feeling, for me to be envying her in all aspects.
everyone's lives are messed up, keep that in mind you silly.
and stop imitating her, you copycat.

right. photos of my cousin's birthday bash and qiao's Laopasat dinner coming up soon! promise.

anyway, there wasn't sugarcane. me and her could hardly believe it, i mean, what kind of infamous foodcourt speaks of NO sugarcane?! FYI, LPS-owner, sugarcane juice is the norm, and the signature drink for singaporean foodcourts. do something about that.
AND, ill be changing my blog template soon! once i find some large template for my text and all.

birthdays, i don't like it when they all come at a go. celebrations are meant to be spread out through out the year, injecting reasons to laugh and shrill with joy. not like this.

but i still love the people whose birthdays are coming lar. hahaa. not one bit less yar.

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 5:43 PM.
Thursday, June 08, 2006

Yeowlll.
gee, it is rather a chore to start off with something new everything. i think ive worn out using 'yeowl' and 'hey' and 'you-know' already.
HEE. TONIGHT WILL BE A SATAY/SUGARCANEJUICE/FRIEDCARROTCAKE AT NIGHT.
i'm meeting yiqiao at Lao Pa Sat tonight, for her pre-birthday dinner. And the roads will be closed right? so cooll! i just hope there're seats left. And I'm pretty excited about presenting her with her presents. (plural leh!! heh heh.) I stayed up till 3am to complete them yesterday. Was pretty shocking when U-channel shut itself down and turned into a black screen at 2.30am, hahah. Even the channel's bedtime was up.
Anyway its so sweet that Yiqiao's going to Alex's house now to prepare some yummy porridge for him cause he's sick. :)
Haha, ive succumbed to indulging in the happiness of others. Gee.
Ros the boss, (arghh. as in the real boss) gave me tasks after tasks today. Translate this poster to chinese, summarise the content for Centrum brochure, apply for Business Reply Service and P.O Box for our client(never mind that i have NO idea what they mean, she just assumes i do naturally.), scan this brochure and save it to a soft-copy. STOPPPPPPPPPPP.
but actually im blogging now, which shows that im really not that busy after all.
the auntie's doing some weird exercise. she's weird. period.
you think all aunties are predictable with their loud, pushy hokkien voices and painful jostling into MRT. but no no no. -shakes finger in your face.
ALL (every single one in the clan) aunties are actually bizzare individuals.
like for the one in the office, she cackles suddenly when nobody's talking to her, says "I sui bian say one lar!" in that indignant voice very often, and jumps up from her seat and swings her arms out vigorously. Eccentricities.

im sneakily reading www.xiaodoudou.blogspot.com as recommended by my cousin(who i met up with yesterday for lunch! pretty entertaining.) , in between breaks from work. The blogger's a 25 year-old Singaporean lesbian who started the blog on the day she started chemotherapy because she's contacted cancer. She passed away in the end, like two years after. :(
Her optimism's infectious. Reading her entries convinced myself that i'm like bloody fortunate to be healthy. (and if you are too, you better start being thankful now.) I even made myself wear a smile although faced with a huge throng of sulky white-collared adults in the cramped MRT train.

lets face it - there's always a reason to smile.

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 12:48 PM.
Friday, June 02, 2006



(i don't know about you but,) this makes me smile.

a big smile for you! :)

Anyway i am going to say this before i let it slip my mind again. THANK YOU SHIQIN, for having me in mind when jiurong told you about her going-to-be-vacated job. You've allowed me to be kind of going through an internship, and i really appreciate it. THANK YOU SHIT(ohwhoops!)SHIQIN!!

Woah. there are only 2 hours left till i end work at 6. ANOTHER BIG SMILE. I'm Watson's frequent buyer now. Not that im a big fan, but its about the biggest grocery place around. And im a sucker for shopping at grocery places. it seems to be the only place where no pesty shopkeepers would be asking "how may i help you?" a million times, and you didn't have to put on that aloof look and make your mouth all stiff like you'll never smile, just to blend in with the rest of the shopping population. i could walk around in NTUC forever (if they improve the quality of their music.)


I really dont like the music the girl opposite me plays. Plus somehow it's an unspoken thing that she gets to play HER music for the whole office. -grumbles incoherently for a while. Right now its techno. ARGH, it's not even music!! It's just a sicko hitting the dumb metal continuously in the same fashion with the same beat OVER AND OVER AGAIN. WAHLAO. SHUDDDDDDUPPPP. I've already plugged in my earphones and tuned into FM93.3 to soothe my nerves. But the incessant beat is still audible. -rises to full height and thumps chest.

This whole week, I've made plans to go out after work every single day. Balance girl! Balance. Gee. For today, ill be meeting up with Grace and Taiyi and Yiqiao. Yesterday, I was at Jack's Place with Di and Ros. heyyy i've missed the smell of your mom's car, Di. Wednesday, was taking the blardy long ride to PASIR RIS to check qiao out at her promotion event. Tuesday, was driving with bbdc instructor straight after work. I was probably home on Monday. thank god.

WAHLAO. THE MUSIC NOW IS SOME BUBBLING SOUND, for about 2 minutes. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Even orangejuice-flavoured gummies can induce a headache for me. bleahhhh.

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 3:57 PM.


jocelyn teo
daughter, sister, friend. and blissfully loved.
beauty of language

may they stay dear
my little clay shop
diana ngiam
04S12
rossie poo
crystal tear
wilson lau
daphne koh
along the way i met you
June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 November 2009 February 2010 March 2010 June 2010
thanks to
designed by lil.queens
photos: bexidaisy on DA
host: imageshack & imeem
inspiration & lyrics: TLG