xu wei lun passing away so abruptly has really gotten to me.
can you imagine a world where death is merely a form of really serious illness? and not as final as it is now. now, when one is dead, we are suddenly not allowed to touch him/her, and the body (no longer refered by name, but known as a body) is encased totally and make-up is applied, to slow down rate of decay. it is all so morbid. the chinese customs are morbid. having to look at someone you've looked at since birth in an entirely different way, looking totally differently and fake and having to have that image permanently etched in your mind.
although some customs do give the grieving some thing to keep our minds busy with, like folding as many paper money as possible.
to another world. is that really how it works?
if any of you guys have read the billboard about death. i read it while sitting at the bus-stop alone, and it choked me up.
maybe cloning isn't such a bad idea after all, it does pose a possible solution to this never-ending trauma of being afraid to have someone die. i'm not as afraid of death, more so of having to witness it happen to anyone else.
holed myself up in the cubicle for a while to wipe those pesty tears away.
can i do anything right at all.
ill be alright.
maybe because its the second time, it seems like I SHOULD be passing already. The first time was more like a try, and ill be lucky if i passed kinda thing. but nowww. arghh.
thanks to all those who wished me luck though! will be carrying the bagfuls of luck into the test-car with me.
quick quick get it over with!!
The lighting is how bad in the train. Max Brenners was NOT NICE! :( WHY ROS WHYYYY. wahah. or maybe we just ordered the wrong stuff. I had hot Dark Chocolate with melted marshmallows (it says ONE marshmallow in the menu but don't believe it) and Yiqiao had some strawberry, yogurty white chocolate freeze. Both desciptions in the menu were really tantalising, but good ol' milo was better, really. Plus, it was ex, (like eight dollars for a drink) but i expected that.
I just conned shiqin into thinking im being wooed by a certain short, big-eyed, square, YELLOW thing. okay, so i lied that it was a boy. fun while it lasted, till i had to reveal that it was really spongebob squarepants i was talking about.
Felt like crying just now. When a sudden craving hit me, and it hit me that i really wanted a bite of the tuna curry-puff (i know it should be tuna puff, but it's shaped like a curry puff and that's how i like to call it so sue me) that the Uncle downstairs used to sell. But he's gone (died), and the stall's replaced by some trendy loud minimart-wannabe, and no more tuna curry-puffs anymore. Death really sucks for the living.
frantic smsing, confirming if it's terminal one or two, mad running. that seems to be all i've been doing.
we didn't tear, (though some tears did threaten to spill when i hugged her goodbye) but damn these lasik-eyes. caught her wiping her tears away as soon as she turned her back.
and very soon, everything was over as she waved her passport goodbye to us and her family from inside the departure hall.
checked out those london-bound budget tickets at Macs's terminal immediately, (we've just sent her off but missing her enough already to want to head there.) but they're only for July. arghhh.
a photo's all we got left - for now. brace up and the best of luck for your upcoming exams k!
Wonder if you're still on the plane, reading Archie's. Though i think not.
-missing you very very much. :(
31st december 2006. Di's birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! An hour stretched to two precious ones, as we three conveniently forgot to remind di about the time as we chatted to the dozen at coffeebean. And im not kidding, there really are three ass-shaped things in that box. muahahha.
extremely-belated christmas gift exchange at ros's! pussy willow as the tree and huddled in a corner as we unwrapped bundles of surprises! everyone liked their gifts. thankew very much girls!! 
Lovely surprise waiting at home after the xmas exchange, from di! All three (mab, ros, me) received similar tins of hot chocolate mixture from London, with the words 'cho', 'col', 'late' on each. Breaking the chocolate, i call it. (coincidentally my blog's name.)
Ros, u've outdone yourself. Those are really GORGEOUS earrings. b-ling b-linggg. All the way from down under no less. :)
An orange bonus. Everytime i sniff it, i feel like chewing off a portion. but it's a eraser, so no can do.
mabel, you put the les in lesbian. hahaha. rings with our names engraved for all of us, and chains just in case the rings don't fit! damn act-attached/married! hahhaa. but I LIKE.
Can you just see the tiny verdana-font 'joce.' ? (with the full-stop too! she didnt miss that out.)
and babuseng, you know you don't want to leave, and we all dont want you to. But let's just take things in our stride, and i'm hoping to wave you goodbye tomorrow with a clean face tomorrow. Why does that sound sad somehow.
i'm going to have to get a webcam.
Bintan!! A lot of photos taken. The whole trip was pretty boring at times. The most i got out of it, was that i probably talked and played with my cousins a lot more than i ever had at all the family gatherings. :) And seeing the dire conditions the bintan residents were in, made me a whole lot more thankful for the city life i'm enjoying.
Me and mom went to walk along the beach (which was well, muddy.) and we were figuring out how to cross the huge puddle of seawater before us to get to the shore. and then my eyes caught something moving. A whole mass of orange scuttling right in front of us. When our eyes focused, we realised it was a whole army of little, red crab-like creatures on the gradulating sands. VERY disgusting, but very exciting at the same time. Very discovery-channel. So we both stood rooted, as it dawned that we were totally trapped as those horrid creatures were swarming in front, left and right to us. They appeared to have tunneled out of the millions of tiny holes on the sand dunes in a mass migration move. -shivers. MILLIONS can. But either me or my mom accidentally took a step, and poof, in just one blink, all dropped back into their holes, and the orange sea was replaced almost instantaneously with a blanket of black holes. But still, me and my mom had to step across on all those holes (imagine knowing fully well that all those creatures were moving directly underneath our feet), and we did, really quickly.
This is how a tiny part of the entire colony looked like. Didnt want to get too near them, hence the blur. They're like big hairy bacteria!! EWW EWW EWWW. 
Season of giving came and went. My ten mini-boxes of goodies from my aunt in the family exchange. Anyone saw the large version of the coffee beat (third from front)? My mom's looking for it. 
then came 31st december, last day of 2006. Audrey! happy belated birthday! so sorry i couldn't be there at your 21st party, but i bet you had a superb time and your hands are probably still aching from all those presents! hee. hope you liked our home-baked cookies and piggie! :)
and FINALLY.
Diana Ngiam!!
u're nineteen already, and blossoming (dress sense, dress sense!!) like you should. :) not fully a lady yet, which is mighty fine with me! who wants to become prim and proper ladies, when we can have fun hur. you don't know how glad we are that you're back in singapore to celebrate your birthday. somehow the birthdays have become more of a us-thing, than a personal celebration. and when we get together, we just gabble, oh how we talk. if only it would help in burning calories. feeling the lesbianhood more now that we've even gotten rings! (courtesy of mab :) ) it's still amazing how we clique, and know each other's next lines and i'm sure thankful for you being here with and for me. -starts crooning "thank god i found you.." haha. im guessing my feelings towards you should be pretty darn obvious, from all these mush and the efforts in cards, gifts and all. okay that came out a little wrong. im straight! ANYWAY, you'll be heading back to london come friday. :( it all seems too fast, can't get enough of you yet!! (mab and ros nods. haha) it's alright, we'll have two months to spend when you're back in June! (i'm hoping that no one's blog-spying right now. hmmm.) hoorayy!! so let's not miss each other too much hur. but know that you'll be in my thoughts every now and then, babuseng. ilu. pre-nineteen, nineteen and post-.
"Can you imagine us when we're forty years old?"
Maybe not, but i sure hope you'll be just by my side, di.
