Sunday, October 29, 2006
blimey, do i hate these moments.
moments like this. when you are mired in a stupor for the last past five hours, and the eyes go blink blink as the tv screen flashes and the sounds drone on high and low, and your ass stays glued to the peeling couch. for five hours.
then by some miracle, your eyes regain mobility and you lift them slowly to the timetable. Monday, in large font. which is Tomorrow. that means School.
shit.
i hate now.
moments like this. when you are mired in a stupor for the last past five hours, and the eyes go blink blink as the tv screen flashes and the sounds drone on high and low, and your ass stays glued to the peeling couch. for five hours.
then by some miracle, your eyes regain mobility and you lift them slowly to the timetable. Monday, in large font. which is Tomorrow. that means School.
shit.
i hate now.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 9:45 PM.
Friday, October 27, 2006
I have heard them for years. Punctually, at ten something am, the screeching and howling of child's play would travel up to my flat. But this is the first time i bothered to climb onto a stool and i finally saw what i've been picturing. An aerial view, many little black heads, with their short little legs trotting and running aimlessly in the playground just below. They climb up the twisting ladder, scramble down the slide, fall and pick themselves up again. All the while, screaming like having been freed after a long period. I dont think they even know who's chasing after them, and after observing them for a while, I dont think there is anyone.
bah. i keep sneezing, and am clearing forests while i throw tissue after tissue.
Lessons start late today. Oh pardon me, i should say Lesson. Right, only one 1-hour lesson. 2-3pm. My timetable's been this way, so i should be studying lots out of school. Not right. Sighh. I'm not disciplined at all!
Just today, i made myself wake up at 7.30am so that I could study for a few hours before heading to school. In the end, i was dozing off like crazy after eating doughnuts, and my eyes kept shutting in between lines of Waiting for Godot. In the end, there was no other way but to relent, and in the form of a long nap, all the way till now. 10.30am. Wahha. so much for productive work.
Its so damn hard to fight off fatigue. Unbelievably hard. -yawns.
Di's long night should be over by now! its like 3am! And then she'll be all happy, cause she's heading to Copenhagen with her UK-Singapore mates! SOOO exciting. Take care there you!! and have lots and lots of fun! :)
I should return to the second act of Waiting for Godot.
bah. i keep sneezing, and am clearing forests while i throw tissue after tissue.
Lessons start late today. Oh pardon me, i should say Lesson. Right, only one 1-hour lesson. 2-3pm. My timetable's been this way, so i should be studying lots out of school. Not right. Sighh. I'm not disciplined at all!
Just today, i made myself wake up at 7.30am so that I could study for a few hours before heading to school. In the end, i was dozing off like crazy after eating doughnuts, and my eyes kept shutting in between lines of Waiting for Godot. In the end, there was no other way but to relent, and in the form of a long nap, all the way till now. 10.30am. Wahha. so much for productive work.
Its so damn hard to fight off fatigue. Unbelievably hard. -yawns.
Di's long night should be over by now! its like 3am! And then she'll be all happy, cause she's heading to Copenhagen with her UK-Singapore mates! SOOO exciting. Take care there you!! and have lots and lots of fun! :)
I should return to the second act of Waiting for Godot.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 10:14 AM.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
FREAKING FAILED.
:(
Scratch that. Im more pissed than sad really. It's bloody infuriating! I mounted the damn kerb!! which warranted an immediate failure (flashbacks to the many times i joked about getting immediate failures, pantang like siao.)
SO SHIT. now i have to wait till January 2007. Thanks for all the good-lucks though! :)
ANDDD it was raining damn hard the minute i started my test. DAMN SUAY LAR CAN. yadda yadda. fail already then liddat, complain about this and that, blame it on everyone but me. BLEAH.
Sian man.
:(
Scratch that. Im more pissed than sad really. It's bloody infuriating! I mounted the damn kerb!! which warranted an immediate failure (flashbacks to the many times i joked about getting immediate failures, pantang like siao.)
SO SHIT. now i have to wait till January 2007. Thanks for all the good-lucks though! :)
ANDDD it was raining damn hard the minute i started my test. DAMN SUAY LAR CAN. yadda yadda. fail already then liddat, complain about this and that, blame it on everyone but me. BLEAH.
Sian man.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 6:23 PM.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
If i dont post the photos now, i never will. yes so, even as the fact that i have hardly done anything academic (again) this weekend, and that its already 8pm into the night, gnaws at the back of my conscience.
My brother, the one whose back im seeing more often than the front now (and i dont think im exaggerating) because of his addiction to some computer game, turned 15 three weeks ago. And the family dined in style for once, at Paragon. Okay not really in style, because some really fancy restaurant we had in mind didnt have seats unless we waited for forty minutes. which sounded like eternity to four growling stomachs. So we settled for the other one, which had a lot of M'sian waitresses about, spewing Cantonese everywhere. I love the language, but I dont really want to hear it in a Japanese restaurant. Totally kills the ambience i reckon.
The focus here is the big, fat, juicy slabs of salmon, maguro in the glass. My goodness.
I hated the lagginess which made me listen to everything i said once more, and i was uncomfortable with the fact that i was talking to a laptop screen, but WHO CARES. its my babuseng can. even my mom came over to talk to her. which was err. awkward. hahha.
Okay back to photos.
Island Creamery! Me and yiqiao were totally people-spotting, on the photo-clad walls (i spotted yonghui and michelle chiang!) and in the parlour itself. There was a certain girl in the place who had already given birth, and she was my friend's friend, and yiqiao was totally shocked when she knew.
My brother, the one whose back im seeing more often than the front now (and i dont think im exaggerating) because of his addiction to some computer game, turned 15 three weeks ago. And the family dined in style for once, at Paragon. Okay not really in style, because some really fancy restaurant we had in mind didnt have seats unless we waited for forty minutes. which sounded like eternity to four growling stomachs. So we settled for the other one, which had a lot of M'sian waitresses about, spewing Cantonese everywhere. I love the language, but I dont really want to hear it in a Japanese restaurant. Totally kills the ambience i reckon.
The focus here is the big, fat, juicy slabs of salmon, maguro in the glass. My goodness.
I was aghast at the $6 price of two cubes of sushi, when you can get it at Sakae or Suki at $1.90. But that was before I tried it. My, you can really taste the difference. Everything's just richer. The sashimi, the vinegared rice, even the sweet egg. YUMM.
CURRYWOK with mab happened. :)
I hated the lagginess which made me listen to everything i said once more, and i was uncomfortable with the fact that i was talking to a laptop screen, but WHO CARES. its my babuseng can. even my mom came over to talk to her. which was err. awkward. hahha.
Okay back to photos.
Island Creamery! Me and yiqiao were totally people-spotting, on the photo-clad walls (i spotted yonghui and michelle chiang!) and in the parlour itself. There was a certain girl in the place who had already given birth, and she was my friend's friend, and yiqiao was totally shocked when she knew.
Okay, i think Mab will be totally scrolling past the food pictures. that is, if she even reads. hahaha.
Oh yar! Di should be returning to Singapore around 15th Dec, all the way till 5th Jan! HOORAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. -does a mad victory dance. hear that, mab and ros? this means work. BUT we're all too happy lar, di!! DONT YOU GO SHORTEN YOUR RETURN TRIP.
Driving test this wednesday. If a higher power does exist, you'll do good to manifest then. Ok, that sounded so blasphemous i probably just killed off any chances of external help.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 8:16 PM.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
This isn't how it should be. It's supposed to be a happy post.
but no. i let my emotions get carried away. the better of me.
i need anger management classes i think. i will hit, if i allowed myself to carry on like this.
i didn't know a series of bad events would be so depressing.
so much anger within.
but no. i let my emotions get carried away. the better of me.
i need anger management classes i think. i will hit, if i allowed myself to carry on like this.
i didn't know a series of bad events would be so depressing.
so much anger within.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 7:11 PM.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
i always blog when im in a neutral mood, meaning ill rank about 5 on a happy-sad 1-10 scale.
im trooping off to Curry Wok for lunch tomorrow. with ros and mab. MISSING YOU NGIAMMM. :(
I MISS THAT PLACE.. and ill always remember sitting in that small cozy corner, gabbing away with mab and di. we will talk about EVERYTHING. in our grey NJ uniforms, between mouthfuls of satisfying curry chicken. talk talk talk about school gossips, top model, homework, family, childhood stories, personal scandals. until the day turns to night, and the crowd starts filtering out into the much-darkened alleys. then we'll swing our backpacks and troop down those stone steps, bidding farewell at the bus-stop, taking it (very much) for granted we'll see each other again the next day.
hooray! that im going there finally tomorrow. dont be closed dont be closed dont be closed.
you think we'll have time for island creamery's? hmmm.
salsa-ed at theatre studies today. actually was it salsa? but it was interesting. hee. and i just couldn't look into audrey's, my partner's, eyes the whole time we were dancing. (we were told to do so) It just felt quite uncomfortable. as in, the whole looking into eyes thing, not that i felt weird around her. okay quit explaining.
i feel happy thinking about fuzzy making malay popiahs now, with her mum for Hari Raya. i just love how so many variations of culture and customs exist around us. and we're probably going to her place to celebrate, and stay over maybe! :) just pretty sucky that ill be having driving test on 25th.
i'm starting to rediscover myself. and i'm coming out hardly proud. because i can never be myself, because im just too weak to be so, too scared to disappoint, to displease even. too much of a traditional female in me.
but maybe im just being me? its just me to be not dare to be me?
bleah. scratch that. pathetic excuse.
this is a classic case of trying to please everybody eh, to live up to everyone's expectations. or rather perceived expectations, because i dont think 'everyone' really cares, just me.
failing at being a girl, and now i've got to be a man convincingly for a few minutes next tuesday.
wow.
im trooping off to Curry Wok for lunch tomorrow. with ros and mab. MISSING YOU NGIAMMM. :(
I MISS THAT PLACE.. and ill always remember sitting in that small cozy corner, gabbing away with mab and di. we will talk about EVERYTHING. in our grey NJ uniforms, between mouthfuls of satisfying curry chicken. talk talk talk about school gossips, top model, homework, family, childhood stories, personal scandals. until the day turns to night, and the crowd starts filtering out into the much-darkened alleys. then we'll swing our backpacks and troop down those stone steps, bidding farewell at the bus-stop, taking it (very much) for granted we'll see each other again the next day.
hooray! that im going there finally tomorrow. dont be closed dont be closed dont be closed.
you think we'll have time for island creamery's? hmmm.
salsa-ed at theatre studies today. actually was it salsa? but it was interesting. hee. and i just couldn't look into audrey's, my partner's, eyes the whole time we were dancing. (we were told to do so) It just felt quite uncomfortable. as in, the whole looking into eyes thing, not that i felt weird around her. okay quit explaining.
i feel happy thinking about fuzzy making malay popiahs now, with her mum for Hari Raya. i just love how so many variations of culture and customs exist around us. and we're probably going to her place to celebrate, and stay over maybe! :) just pretty sucky that ill be having driving test on 25th.
i'm starting to rediscover myself. and i'm coming out hardly proud. because i can never be myself, because im just too weak to be so, too scared to disappoint, to displease even. too much of a traditional female in me.
but maybe im just being me? its just me to be not dare to be me?
bleah. scratch that. pathetic excuse.
this is a classic case of trying to please everybody eh, to live up to everyone's expectations. or rather perceived expectations, because i dont think 'everyone' really cares, just me.
failing at being a girl, and now i've got to be a man convincingly for a few minutes next tuesday.
wow.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 7:34 PM.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
This happened in term break. :)
Theatre Studies Practicals are really the only places where i make friends. that's Fuzzy, Jason, Wes, Fee in the photos. bloody cool names hur.
We headed over to East Coast Park in the day, with Audrey and Cindy. And we girls ALL wore white. good thing, saved us from getting thrown into the sea by the extremely-eager-to-dunk-girls guys. errr.
then we headed over to Cineleisure, did arcade, neoprints, Partyworld! but its pretty smokey there, and so our clothes were all reeking of smoke after we left at around midnight. :( I explained to my mom quick before she starts going crazy, thinking i smoked.
By the way, i feel SO dumb. i realised I (together with every other kind fool that bidded for SC1101E's thurs lect) had totally wasted my bid points. Thur's bid points were like hundred points higher than Wed's, and when all i had to do was to bid for Wed's lect instead, and just ATTEND thur's! -smacks forehead.
SO DUMB OF ME.
okay tomorrow will be independence day again. Will be lunching alone, which is the first time since a long time after i stopped working. AND hopefully i'll muster up all my courage to approach four strangers for interviews after that.
it's all going so fast, university life seems to be flashing past like a whirlwind.
Theatre Studies Practicals are really the only places where i make friends. that's Fuzzy, Jason, Wes, Fee in the photos. bloody cool names hur.
We headed over to East Coast Park in the day, with Audrey and Cindy. And we girls ALL wore white. good thing, saved us from getting thrown into the sea by the extremely-eager-to-dunk-girls guys. errr.
then we headed over to Cineleisure, did arcade, neoprints, Partyworld! but its pretty smokey there, and so our clothes were all reeking of smoke after we left at around midnight. :( I explained to my mom quick before she starts going crazy, thinking i smoked.
By the way, i feel SO dumb. i realised I (together with every other kind fool that bidded for SC1101E's thurs lect) had totally wasted my bid points. Thur's bid points were like hundred points higher than Wed's, and when all i had to do was to bid for Wed's lect instead, and just ATTEND thur's! -smacks forehead.SO DUMB OF ME.
okay tomorrow will be independence day again. Will be lunching alone, which is the first time since a long time after i stopped working. AND hopefully i'll muster up all my courage to approach four strangers for interviews after that.
it's all going so fast, university life seems to be flashing past like a whirlwind.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 10:11 PM.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
i feel tired. so im letting the photos walk the talk mostly.
this is shiqin, mab, wilson, junhao, sida over at my place last saturday (after Vilage in town) for mahjong and karaoke-ing. bloody felt like CNY with pineapple tarts somemore. some of them stayed over (hard to fight the tempting lure of mahjong and aircon), and we went over to Macs for breakfast at unearthly 4 am sth, after chionging mahjong for few hours straight. machiam chalet. we should do it more often! :)
this is shiqin, mab, wilson, junhao, sida over at my place last saturday (after Vilage in town) for mahjong and karaoke-ing. bloody felt like CNY with pineapple tarts somemore. some of them stayed over (hard to fight the tempting lure of mahjong and aircon), and we went over to Macs for breakfast at unearthly 4 am sth, after chionging mahjong for few hours straight. machiam chalet. we should do it more often! :)
And this friday, it was shopping at bugis with fuzzy and aud. And then took the uber-long bus ride from bugis back to nus, where we were SUPPOSED to be helping out at Contrast. It all ended up as a mini-bonding session, what with 2am treks from Sci block to Arts, photowhoring, getting bored with dumb online games, daidee again and again, hilarious hangman sessions, niqqi cheese prata supper!
Oh yar, we even dua-ed the director of Chase - the local serial with Utt and VJ Linda.
And fuzzy taught me a Malay song!(my first.) Sephia by Sheila on 7 - an Indon band. it's a nice song, and its playing right now. and im starting to know a lot more about malay customs and all, I even caught fuzzy eating the breakfast burger when the sun was already up! she freaking forgot about fasting!! haha, damn funny. (her mom better not be reading.) i think her brains were getting fried after catchin just a wee one hour nap through out the night.
and that concludes the very short midterm break.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 11:00 PM.
