Wednesday, September 17, 2008
It's really rare that I post two entries in a row. But I just wanna rant.
Hmm. I feel like my puberty has come late. very late. You know, along with the other biological changes to your growing body that puberty brings, there's the perpetually confused state of mind that people are in puberty are supposed to have. The 'what am I going to do when I grow up?', 'what am i going to do for the rest of my life?' state.
And THAT. is exactly what I'm going through.
Maybe it's the model answer that our tutor emailed around, which made me feel like a pile of bogies being flicked to the ground and stomped around in, when I compared it to our answer. It didn't help that it was a friend's answer. That was probably the spark that ignited this burning chain of emotions, making me feel, really quite worthless.
I wouldn't bore you with the details, but it's along the line of not having gone for interships, or exchange programmes, or even working hard enough to get to honours year even. I can't even remember what I did in the advertising stint before I entered university, though it's always been something I comforted myself with when I see people going off on interships and all the exciting hoobas. (dunno lar, anyhow come up with a word) Okay, intership isn't exciting maybe. But it sure is useful next time, no?
I can't even see myself entering the media industry next time, be it in advertising, PR, journalism etc etc. Its just too damn demoralising. This horrid realisation that I'm going to graduate in another semester. And I have no idea what is going to happen to me. I don't even have any graduation trip so that I can procrastinate first! Oh gosh.
Maybe I should stop whining. Well, if anything good is to come out of this super negative post, at least anyone feeling the same way out there, see, you've got company! And anyone else who doesn't, good for you then. You've got people like me letting you step on my back to climb up the social ladder, or whatever shit. BLEAHHH.
Sheesh, and I said no details. Paiseh ar.
Hmm. I feel like my puberty has come late. very late. You know, along with the other biological changes to your growing body that puberty brings, there's the perpetually confused state of mind that people are in puberty are supposed to have. The 'what am I going to do when I grow up?', 'what am i going to do for the rest of my life?' state.
And THAT. is exactly what I'm going through.
Maybe it's the model answer that our tutor emailed around, which made me feel like a pile of bogies being flicked to the ground and stomped around in, when I compared it to our answer. It didn't help that it was a friend's answer. That was probably the spark that ignited this burning chain of emotions, making me feel, really quite worthless.
I wouldn't bore you with the details, but it's along the line of not having gone for interships, or exchange programmes, or even working hard enough to get to honours year even. I can't even remember what I did in the advertising stint before I entered university, though it's always been something I comforted myself with when I see people going off on interships and all the exciting hoobas. (dunno lar, anyhow come up with a word) Okay, intership isn't exciting maybe. But it sure is useful next time, no?
I can't even see myself entering the media industry next time, be it in advertising, PR, journalism etc etc. Its just too damn demoralising. This horrid realisation that I'm going to graduate in another semester. And I have no idea what is going to happen to me. I don't even have any graduation trip so that I can procrastinate first! Oh gosh.
Maybe I should stop whining. Well, if anything good is to come out of this super negative post, at least anyone feeling the same way out there, see, you've got company! And anyone else who doesn't, good for you then. You've got people like me letting you step on my back to climb up the social ladder, or whatever shit. BLEAHHH.
Sheesh, and I said no details. Paiseh ar.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 1:41 AM.
