Sunday, September 11, 2005
its always scary at the start when the whole page is fresh and clean. but keep going, and soon the words will pour out.
okayy. im kinda here to write about how happy i am with life? (hahha. yes. i meant that as a question mark.) its all happy here so far. in spite of the looming (really looming. its only a day away.) Preliminary Examinations, in spite of the A-levels a month later. Like i told mab, im really glad for the examinations sometimes (let me explain!!). without it, there would be no such stuffs as post-exams euphoria and celebrations and all. really, we wouldnt be treasuring the whole-year free time we would have without exams. simply because we humans never can, never can treasure something till we lose it. im not being melancholic here. just stating matter of factly.
and its okayy. it isnt the end of the world if you cant finish the last few booklets of notes, cant go around to starting on the various exam papers. life's what we make out of it. and if we fail this ACADEMIC examination, so be it. there are more examinations, academic and non-academic to come. to challenge us. im sorry if you cant see any sense in what im writing and write me off as a cheesy person who's got rose-tinted glasses stuck to her face. but i do mean it. at least right now i do.
maybe its my mother. she's a great woman really. i dont model myself after her because we're two different beings. but i do learn from her principles in life. i remember just last year. after the last paper of Promotional Examinations, i came home and started sobbing like mad into my pillow. In my mind, were images of my classmates comparing the answers and me gradually growing silent as the realisation that i had answered nothing correctly hit me. all i could think about is how i was going to retain for sure, and how i was going to be an loner next year amongst the new year ones. i remembered how my grandmother had patted me on my shoulder and told me that i was her only hope to be an university student. i cried like mad. i think i had the room door closed and locked. didnt want my family to chance upon me at such a state. (funny how i dont like my family to see me at my weakest time.) but my mother started probing and i let them in, my mom and bro. still think its really sweet how my bro tried to comfort me, albeit the awkwardness.
my mom was the one reassuring me that she's never been the one to place too much emphasis on our education. she was totally alright if i was going to retain. even suggested that if anything, i could jolly well repeat another year after my year two if i still couldnt make the grade. she was okay with it all. i was so grateful she wasnt disillusioned like many other parents are, placing top emphasis on results. and im not going to be too.
so please, to all students out there. this road to academic success was never meant to be a tortorous one. and you can help make it not. dont blame all on the education authorities. you have a role to.
be accepting of failures. we'd be much happier.
okayy. im kinda here to write about how happy i am with life? (hahha. yes. i meant that as a question mark.) its all happy here so far. in spite of the looming (really looming. its only a day away.) Preliminary Examinations, in spite of the A-levels a month later. Like i told mab, im really glad for the examinations sometimes (let me explain!!). without it, there would be no such stuffs as post-exams euphoria and celebrations and all. really, we wouldnt be treasuring the whole-year free time we would have without exams. simply because we humans never can, never can treasure something till we lose it. im not being melancholic here. just stating matter of factly.
and its okayy. it isnt the end of the world if you cant finish the last few booklets of notes, cant go around to starting on the various exam papers. life's what we make out of it. and if we fail this ACADEMIC examination, so be it. there are more examinations, academic and non-academic to come. to challenge us. im sorry if you cant see any sense in what im writing and write me off as a cheesy person who's got rose-tinted glasses stuck to her face. but i do mean it. at least right now i do.
maybe its my mother. she's a great woman really. i dont model myself after her because we're two different beings. but i do learn from her principles in life. i remember just last year. after the last paper of Promotional Examinations, i came home and started sobbing like mad into my pillow. In my mind, were images of my classmates comparing the answers and me gradually growing silent as the realisation that i had answered nothing correctly hit me. all i could think about is how i was going to retain for sure, and how i was going to be an loner next year amongst the new year ones. i remembered how my grandmother had patted me on my shoulder and told me that i was her only hope to be an university student. i cried like mad. i think i had the room door closed and locked. didnt want my family to chance upon me at such a state. (funny how i dont like my family to see me at my weakest time.) but my mother started probing and i let them in, my mom and bro. still think its really sweet how my bro tried to comfort me, albeit the awkwardness.
my mom was the one reassuring me that she's never been the one to place too much emphasis on our education. she was totally alright if i was going to retain. even suggested that if anything, i could jolly well repeat another year after my year two if i still couldnt make the grade. she was okay with it all. i was so grateful she wasnt disillusioned like many other parents are, placing top emphasis on results. and im not going to be too.
so please, to all students out there. this road to academic success was never meant to be a tortorous one. and you can help make it not. dont blame all on the education authorities. you have a role to.
be accepting of failures. we'd be much happier.
can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 11:18 PM.
