Sunday, July 24, 2005

first things first.
mm. this is just a hunch, but please dont ever feel inferior to her, or be jealous of her. because i do treasure you more than her. so. you dont have to feel negative.

this will sound ironic, because ive just performed it. but why do we downsize the things that are most important. like, in an entry.
i had a dream today. (okayy. i have dreams every other day too.)
the world was ending. and there was this particular scene which struck me.
I was peering out of the window, and it felt like i was in a submarine, or a boat. because the strikingly blue ocean stretched endlessly beyond the window. in the dream, i felt it was the prettiest sight i had ever seen. the blue ocean, glittering in the sunlight. and so close to me.
then i remembered crying. bitterly. when i kept trying to take a photo of it, but kept failing to. (i think the ocean kept fading away.)
all the same. it was like something dear being kept away from me. and my heart ached, with every other part of me to long for it.

can you hear the soft swoosh of the butterflies' wings. 9:45 PM.