break the chocolate.

2010-06-12T00:39:00.000+08:00

it's been what, decades since I last posted?

right. I've forsaken my little diary which I religiously wrote in in my schooldays, and then my old blog got shut down somehow, and now, I update this blog so sparsely I might as well don't. :(

Let's hope this post isn't an one-off thing. So anyway, it's FRIDAY! okay technically it's a minute into saturday, and the first match of world cup just ended. My ears suffered, goodness they had better do something with the endless blaring of horns (or rather, buzzing of insects as I'm suspecting).

I'm totally trying to make sense of the entire WC opening ceremony now, i just saw a gigantic dung beetle (i think) rolling a gigantic football. Am wondering if the dung beetle is the one making all the buzzing haha.

That aside, I've been totally so caught up in working and resting AFTER work, that I've totally neglected miniatures for these few weeks. Tsk tsk, I need to learn a thing or two about discipline and priorities from the boy.

I'm at a loss as to what to write, so I shall end here!

2010-03-26T00:01:00.000+08:00

my birthday. it was on 22nd March. and I just realised I haven't had a single photo of it and the little celebrations at all yet. so here's some verbal recount. :)

i think it's only polite to thank people when they do nice things for you, so here goes.

The weekend just before my birthday (which fell on a monday) was half-spent in gloom as I fretted over if I should attend a work gathering, but everything brightened up from then. The work gathering was really much more fun than I had expected, and I shouldn't have to worry about it at all. As I rushed back to the west to meet the girls, I KNEW they were definitely up to something and they kept ignoring my calls! It turned out that they had planted a mister zhang in my house as my present (i don't think they paid for him though hahaha). The mister also cooked pasta (awww..) for us. :)

and then it was off to Mac-cafe (okay no idea how to spell this) for an apple pie and coffee (not for me). It was sooo crowded with everyone glued to the little television telecasting the big match between liverpool and man united. At home, I was getting ready to sleep and having just stepped out of the toilet with freshly-brushed teeth and there was the boy and qiao! with my cake, and candles all lit up! Awwwwww. :) The silly girl had driven to my house all alone at midnight, just to wish me happy birthday! -hugs!!!!

The boy stayed over and had to wake up at the hellish time of 7am, to fetch me to work! hahha, birthday girl privileges!

The next day at work, I didn't expect anyone to know it's my birthday but I received a few emails and many well wishes! :) And this uber sweet lady from work, bought me a cake and had candles and made me make wishes, the works! AWWWW. thank you serene, if you're reading this somehow! You can eat all of my kerepok! hahaha.

And of course the rush of birthday wishes on facebook. Thanks guys, you know who you are. :)

I can't wait to meet the girls! Ros, Mab don't pull another surprise on me this Sunday hor! And babuuuuuu, hurry hurry back! :)

Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :)

2010-02-20T02:34:00.000+08:00

and so Chinese New Year has come and gone. Okay technically, there are a few more days before the end of the official 15days, but honestly, if it's not a public holiday it's not much of a holiday here.

My past blog entry is eons ago! But it's easy (or hard) to sum up what I've been going through since the last time I blogged. Rojak. Apart from the CNY festivities where it was all fun (except when I lost too much at gambling, I hate to lose and I love money WAHAHAH), mostly my emotions have been in highs and lows.

I get happy and positive and carefree sometimes. And then I start to think about how the world is really my oyster, and there are so many possibilities with life. And how I know what I want to do with life, and I'm going to lead a happy one focusing on AiClay while working part-time in a regular job that would give me some stable moolah.

And then there are the lows. And I mean, being so depressive and wanting to cry and feeling the hot tears spill while entertaining thoughts of just ending this miserable life and everything is grey and all I see are sad robots disguised as humans in office clothing. I would get so gloomy thinking about how I would still ultimately end up like another one of those office workers, and AiClay would slowly just be a hobby and finally something that I would look back on one day, all clad in office clothing and buried under work, and think "oh, how young and foolish I was then, to think THAT would work out.". And then I'll wait for 5.30pm and leave the tall buildings, joining the mass of similarly-clothed workers in public transport and return home to sleep, knowing that I'll be waking up to the same old routine again tomorrow, for the rest of my life.

I feel so severely scared for my future that I wonder why I'm this way, and I kind of blame it on my last 'official' job.

I'm entertaining thoughts of being a zookeeper, but even THAT required an education in life sciences etc.

I'm entertaining thoughts of working at a stationery store, surrounded by beautiful notepads and pretty pencils. But I am afraid that would just further cement the fact that I've truly wasted my university years (and fees).

I read through each job scope so many many times, before pouncing on the one little detail that would make me not send out my resume. I find so many reasons for myself to not do it, and I shouldn't keep doing that, but I still think my reasons are right (sometimes).

I think we should be living in an era where the phrases 'live for yourself' and 'do what you love, and you'll love what you do' should be not just used in theory, but applied to real life too.

CRAP, I was pretty intent on sending out the resume for the stationery store and now the jobsearch database server has crashed on me. perfect.

Alright, I shall quit being the sarcastic whiny old man.

My msn nick is now 'Nothing's too scary', to make me all pumped up to apply for jobs and quit thinking I'm not capable of them.

2009-11-13T16:27:00.001+08:00

i still miss Australia.

can you see the writing on the sky, in the clouds. it says, "marry me, Leel (sth sth)".

and i miss being able to have lunch on public transportation. here, we can't even eat sweets! :(

mountains in the far distance.

australians suntan anywhere.

the boys stuffed autumn leaves in my hood.

strike ahead.

my cousin's coming back this december, bet he would miss it lots too!

2009-11-09T01:11:00.000+08:00

feels really weird to have just woken up, when everyone else is going to sleep (1 am).

this whole sheng ling nu hai thing is really taking over the globe eh, seeing how everyone photowhores, and whores pretty photos found all over the net on their blogs..

i read two blogs, where both had been in a long term relationship, but broken up. (not 2 parts of a couple) and it scared me. imagining how it would feel without the boy in my life, to have that huge gaping hole in my life. what would i do, who would i hang out with? i should really have a healthier social life eh. (btw everything's going great though. :))

The PPF is not flitting around my Etsy shop at all, sigh. That's Etsy lingo for Paypal Fairy, who reportedly brings sales to your store haha. Etsy people are so cute.

Maybe I should find something on Etsy to feature here.

here you go. Picture from ohhellofriend, item at http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29575937.

i feel like having breakfast. though it's 1am. :( i want french toast suddenly!

2009-10-29T01:05:00.000+08:00

today on the way back, i suddenly thought of the mama-shop uncle.

not the one who's there at my void-deck now, but the uncle who owned and ran the mama-shop before this new one came along.

the mama-shop was a HUGE part of my childhood, i can remember myself buying some snack from him everytime i got down from the schoolbus, with my little brother in tow. There was this wafer ice cream, wrapped in a really old school paper. The wafer biscuit was often soft and not really fresh actually, but I don't know why i kept buying it. maybe it was just for that familiar taste, and knowing that there wasn't anywhere else that sold it. and the little packets of sweets i used to buy for 50cents, or 20cents for the smaller ones. It was the highlight of my brother's and my day, after having come home from school, to share our treasures when we got home.

also, i remember there was this particular day. and i was still in primary school, so we had to wake up really early for the morning school session to catch the school-bus. And the sky was really dark, it was about 6am or something. and it was pouring really heavily. And my mom didn't want us to get our school-socks drenched from stepping in the puddles. So when we passed by the mama-shop as we always do, she got 4 plastic bags from the uncle. and she tied them around me and my brother's school-shoes. It was quite a sight really haha.

and i can't remember the many times we used the toilet of the mama-shop, a really small one tucked away in the back of the shop, and i would sneak looks around his store-room stacked high and full with goodies of all sorts.

and his simple nasi lemak i always had for lunch, with just good chilli and egg and fragrant rice. none of that nasty fish filled with fish-bones.

The uncle worked with his wife, and both of them opened shop almost everyday without fail. I would greet them as I passed by everyday, on the way to the lift.

and then one day, the shop was closed. and my mom broke the new to me that noon that the uncle was severely sick.

and then, just a few days later, he had passed away. His wife never did return to open the shop again, and the shop was closed for a long while.

and now, the current shop owners are also a couple, and the shop has taken on a 'hippier' look. However, i almost never buy anything from the shop anymore. Nor do I even pass by them, with the new lift that has been installed right outside my flat.

The uncle was always friendly and kindly, and always there to look out for everyone in the flat.

i miss him. :( sighh, getting really teary now.

2009-10-26T17:00:00.003+08:00

4 generous spoonfuls of vanilla yoghurt, and a handful of crunchy grapes.

YUM! try it, they are a surprisingly good combination!

my mum's new house slippers. a little too cute, don't you think! hahaha!

orh ba kak (meaning punched in the eye) bunnies.

please give my Flickr some love! :)

2009-10-02T00:45:00.000+08:00

a tweet-worthy incident, but my twitter is so inactive that I'd rather blog. heh.

me and the boy (is anyone getting irritated with this reference? haha) were in ikea, and we had this trolley thing, loaded with our bags cause they were weighing us down. So we were pushing it around, and had a constant tickling battle (god we're irritating, hahha. but its vicious okay. Quoted from the boy "OMG, u're damn violent!", or something along that line.). and at the end of the day as the announcements chimed that the store was closing, we rolled the trolley to the checkout lines. at that time i was pushing it, but before that the boy was the one doing the pushing for quite some time.

and then, he suddenly pointed at the trolley, stricken and burst into laughter at the same time.

i was pushing a trolley that was fully filled with maybe 50 photoframes and 2 rags, and some other crap, and our bags were gone. and the STUPIDEST THING, was that the trolley was an entirely different kind from the one we were pushing before! It was a MUCH bigger one, and the design was totally different.

we had been pushing around the WRONG trolley for goodness knows how long, must have happened during one of the highlights of the tickling battle. hahaha.

HOW DUMB ARE WE.

we then spent like 10minutes laughing like crazy hyenas and combing the place for the trolley we deserted. (we found it in the end) hahah. the things we do.

2009-08-13T13:24:00.003+08:00

my lovely girlfriends.

you know how it is after you get attached. you get so very caught up in the honeymoon phase that you want to meet up with the other half every single minute and before you know it, you find that your girlfriends have been pushed out of your schedule and your life.

i've been victim to this zhong se qin you (which translates to placing more importance on the opposite sex, usually the boyfriend, over your friends) occasionally, so i never wanted to be that sort of girl. hopefully i still was a good friend during that whole honeymoon phase (probably the whole first few months of last year).

okay i'm deviating from what i wanted to write about. sometimes i write here because i'm so psyched about something i can't wait to ramble on, or when i have tons of photos that i want to share, or when there's some event/moment i really want to remember (and don't trust my lousy memory to). in this case, it's the latter.

and so, we went over to di's place (ok i mean mansion HAHHAH!) on sunday afternoon. Honestly, i was really excited about seeing the babuseng again (after a good few months of not!), and just really happy with the thought of us four girls catching up again. we do have such fun together.

and so armed with homebaked cheesecake (yes the one featured in the post before this) and presents from Aust and Bangkok and feeling a little Santa-ish, I headed over.

i think in the two days we met, i've laughed more and talked more than i have in months! every single moment was just filled with catching up with each other's lives, making each other answer hypothetical questions that only we would know, sharing the latest gossips, our joys and downs. and of course, laughing ourselves silly.

the pool room would always echo with our mad guffaws (mostly ros, HAHHA. okay la i admit i do emit shrill yells sometimes) and i wish someone would videocam us when we're doing the 'distract-opposition' dance with our cue sticks.

that night, we talked into the early morning (5AM!!) with sleepy eyes and empty stomachs, but all still unwilling to turn in for the night. because we knew that such moments weren't going to come about that easily again.

i'm so blessed to have you girls. :))))

P.S can't wait to crash njc together!! hahhaha!

2009-08-05T00:07:00.003+08:00

I SUCK at time management. I chose the worst timing ever to bake a cake.

Hmm, here is what happened. It was a Thursday (i think) and a few days ago i had chanced upon a beautiful raspberry cheesecake recipe with gorgeous pictures that promised of a delicious cake. and so bright morning Thursday I trooped off to the supermarket and rounded up all my neccessities. Oh, and i had just picked up 2 baskets of VERY ripe strawberries from the boy's, that was one of the main reasons to make this cake.

OH and the fact that i've been keeping busy with my shop making such wonderful miniature cakes, and NONE were for eating. :(

and so i got to work, very psyched by the tantalising baking photos. SO, i had to make strawberry puree first. It was my first time ever, but it didn't turn out that bad. TEDIOUS though!

First I cut up and cored the strawberries, trashing some uberripe ones meanwhile.

and then you gotta slowly boil (with some water) and mash them at the same time, to coax all that juicy syrup out of the berries.

Because the berries' skins were so full of seeds, I had to strain the puree so that nobody eating the cake would bite onto a very disturbing hard seed.

voila, strawberry puree! oh and pardon the photos, when you're peppered in flour and have only one hand to take photos and horrid kitchen lighting, this is the best i can manage. haha.

whipping cream cheese (EXPENSIVE SHITSSS) and freshly-ground sugar together.

mixing in self-crushed graham crackers crumbs for the cake base.

YUMMM, all that's left is to pour the creamy cheesecake batter into the heavenly-smelling crust!

but bloody hell.

what is THIS SHITTTTTTTTT.

okay lar i did manage to salvage it in the end, by spooning some mixtures into muffin cups and baking them again. and i also whipped up a new graham crust and used some of the cheesecake batter for the new (albeit VERY much smaller) cake.

it is SO HARD to bake with microwave ovens! the many convection/microwave etc etc modes just bloody confuses me!! i just looked away for a while and the next minute my beautiful-looking cheesecake had melted into a greasy mess.

and my mommy made strawberry juice with the leftover puree.

now the cheesecake isn't half made, though the texture is very much more like a cheesecake mousse instead haha. But there's even a homemade rich chocolate ganache spread on top of it, say YUMMM. hahah.

there's so much of it left in my fridge, c'mon i wanna share! :)

2009-07-14T20:07:00.004+08:00

yesterday over a silly quarrel, i cried to sleep. it was a long time since i have cried over him, and it only reminded me of how much this relationship meant to me.

this is a tacky-looking plastic ring. the silver's actually plastic and little slivers of it are flaking off, and the picture is just a glittery pop-up sticker of Pooh stuck onto the cap. but it's still one of my treasures. cause the boy exchanged it for me using arcade points in Brisbane (although i know i paid for the credits hahaha, but STILL).

ilu!

2009-07-05T16:29:00.017+08:00

I'm back from Brissy in Aussie! hahha, okay i meant Brisbane in Australia.

Not going to put up many photos here cause that'd be a uploading nightmare (and i'm still supposed to be suffering from jetlag, 2 hours difference is STILL a difference! hehhh). but you can view them at facebook! (i'm talking to my invisible stalkers don't mind me)

EDIT: i meant i'm going to put up lots of photos.
haha i don't know what i was thinking when i wrote the above paragraph.

alright, i'm writing this post in various chunks because i keep getting distracted (television, unpacking, getting familiarised with my house etc).

it's 7pm now and i'm shocked that the day hasn't ended yet. In Australia, we'll probably be washing up and getting ready to sleep by now.

Okay, so for that little wrap up of my Aussie vacation.

it was AWESOME (to quote one of the favourite words of the Australians). Like i had expected, there were plenty of gorgeous landscapes to camwhore and just gawk at, especially for us visually-deprived city kids. The theme park rides were still as scary as i thought, and i squirmed my way out of two rides but still pretty fun on the whole. :) I didn't even think I would muster up the courage to sit for one of them.

the moments to remember..

when the radio continually blared MJ's hits in our rented car, and then suddenly i shrieked and twisted the volume knob way up. and the dj declared that MJ had just passed away. and there were loads of OMG, idontbelieve!, and the frantic googling of how it happened as soon as we reached Toowong.

chancing upon the steal of a lifetime - $10+ AUD to drive our own boat, and fish for 3 hours in the vast lake of Noosa. and reeling in my very first fish catch ever! :)

stealing some private time with the boy when we sneaked out of the house for a walk around Toowong, only to brisk-walk home very soon after to the sounds of nature calls. hahaha.

breathing in the fresh chilly air as we stood atop the hilly vineyard, with jacket-clad horses grazing beside us. this is definitely one of my favourite places in the world. photos can't bring across the sea of calm that washed over me as i stood there, listening to the music of the winds breezing across the valleys.

the crowded kitchen where we all gathered to whip up dishes for the housemates whose space we've invaded for almost two weeks. that night we had an international dinner of kimchi soup, chinese prawn-omelette and blackpepper chicken.

wintry nights where we dug our hands deep in our coat pockets and hung our heads low as we trudged against the sharp chilling winds.

that horrid competition of daidee and indian poker where the suay me kept picking the gross jellybellies. they come in assorted flavours of baby wipes, boogers, pencil shavings etc. G R O S S. I almost puked at one point.

my not-needed alone time with a bucketfull of expensive technological gadgets as I waited an hour for the boys to emerge from that superman ride. i was too chicken to try that. 0-100km/hr in 2 seconds, NO THANKS. :)

me and the boy being quick strawberry-pickers in the strawberry fields, while the rest were still searching for the most perfect ones to bring home, and popping the rest into their mouths. TSK TSK. i think they ate a whole kg of them juicy red gems.

i think my boy is very the cute. :P

so are angmoh kids. AIYOH I WANNA PINCH THEIR CHEEKS!

in aussie, their street bird variety are of a colourful and exotic kind. They even have swarms of wild parrots with colorfully streaked stomachs around!

the many fish and chips meals we had. They have ginomous chips there! my cousin longlong truly belongs there hahaa. (he's a lover of fries, old joke about his tallness too. :P)

my xiaoyi's treat all the way from singapore, with a budget of S$500 to splurge on a good meal. Of course we couldn't totally use that entire amount, but we did have a lavish meal of S$200. :)

alright i should STOP for now. i totally over-uploaded. hahaha.

g'day to you folks! :)

2009-06-10T01:33:00.003+08:00

a few things that's on my mind.

today was the birthday of my bestie! :) had an AWESOME doubledate dinner. :)

I'm smiling inwardly cause I'm thinking about how I'm going to be meeting my boy in a few hours, and we've got an entire list on to-dos for tomorrow.

first, visit the dog and bring it out for a long-awaited walk! that reminds me, ill have to go get treats at westmall first.

then watch that ancient movie 'night at the museum ONE' at the boy's house. hahah. yes ONE. so that i'll be ready to watch NATM 2! :)

and then i'll probably have to rush off for the last train.

sighh, so many times i wished (especially on the last train back!) we didn't live on opposite sides of the country. :(

OHWELL. anyway, all's good on the career route! I've been very active in a polymerclay miniatures forum lately, and been learning some new tips along the way while meeting new people (though they're mostly 30years older!). And although number of real life case studies of those who've ventured into sculpting as full time careers is rather dismal, I'm more determined than ever now.

Especially since my mom supported my decision to embark on this path, at least for a few months. :)

PLUS, i'm leaving for australia in less than 3 weeks! never mind that i have no idea what we're going to do once we're there, and no idea how to pack for the chilly weather. It's Aust damnit! :)

Now, i've got to go snuggle in bed with a good Picoult book. Oh, my life is good.

2009-05-22T13:55:00.023+08:00

BANGKOK

omg, took me so many days just to upload all of these photos, 5 in a batch at one time. SOOO SLOWWWWW.

so here, i'll have one-liners for the photos instead of lengthy commentaries. hahah.

i love to just stare at that big black board of flickering letters and fantasize about what the people flying to all the exotic locations are doing.

i think i've got an entire album of yiqiao's and alex's photos. haha. that's what happens when you're the only avid photographer in the group. :p

there. my cute pretty girlfriend!! :)

From left to right:
boyfriend girlfriend.
boyfriend girlfriend.
:)

the first of colourful bangkok taxis i'll see. NEON pink can!

the girl in the small LAN space in the hotel - straight out of an IKEA catalogue!

late at night at Mcdonalds, scantily-clad girls (who probably worked in the dirty bars around the area, i'm not judging k! they were wearing thin nightgowns for goodness sakes! and the light turqoise one was almost baring her butt already la!) barged into the place like nothing was out of the ordinary.

the highest tower in southeast asia. or something like that. haha.

hahahahaha.

told you they have very colourful transportation vehicles! Even the bikers were wearing rainbow-coloured jackets, unlike Singapore's where everyone just opts for black or grey!

overhyped donut chain!

i've never been very fond of donuts actually (i find all too sweet except for the plain one), but the futile search in M'sia for DunkinDonuts and the boy's raving about it got me pretty psyched for DD in bangkok. but it was.. BLEAHHH.

"woahh so many green veges! must take must take!!" snap snap snappp!

"baby baby look!! nice hor, my green veges!! :) "

okay lor, bo pian wad. MBJ SAY ONE. :(

sneaked a shot inside IMAX theatre! after all 4 of us subsequently fell asleep during different intervals of the movie 'aliens vs monsters'. We had sofas, pillows, blankets, and lulling lighting!! PLUS one long day of shopping, made us a very sleepy foursome. :)

yup i managed to go snorkelling halfway during the movie too. :)

hellish tuktuk rides. me and qiao screamed like babies on the first tuktuk, but we gradually got used to being in the opposite lane at 90km/hour and having big buses rumble past us, close enough to sweep our hair.

we entertained ourselves with nights of darts, fulsbol (how to spell!!) and pool.

this innocent pushcart at the foot of our hotel served up the spiciest and shiokest chilli all 4 of us had ever ate. Alas, the pushcart never did come back to the hotel after that night.

sometimes, people forget. :)

very nice thai server at A&W. :) people there are all generally warm and kind! :)

lumpinee stadium for a firstrow experience of thai boxing.

not all as glamourous as it seemed, and the event didn't stir up quite a big crowd as we had hoped. :(

the boys! during one of our best(most expensive) meals in bangkok!

i was mesmerised by all these cascading streams of coloured balls. Very tempted to get one, but didn't. kinda beating myself up over it now. :(

the dirty cute fellow!! :) We were allowed to hold this tiny pup andit was really excited to have people playing with it.

but knowing how the pet situation is over there, it'll be a miracle if it's still alive. :(

at a train crossing.

In Chatuchak. yep, that's the pet situation in bangkok. Oversupply, and cheap prices. They were being sold like they were toys, not companions. :(

don't kill me okayy? :)

the 'coins' used in place of mrt cards.

such a classic photo. girls still hyper while boys all k.o-ed after a day of shopping at Chatuchak.

sorry long stream ahead of photos of my purchases in bangkok. :)

we were checking out and packing up. :(

he is SO glued to the telly!!

see, eyes never off telly while tying shoelaces.

only decent photo of us and the room door. sorry ah, obligatory photo mar.

the bangkok foodcourt system is really mafan. you have to purchase these coupons first before exchanging them for food. it's like monopoly, just that it's half as fun.

mango sticky rice! the one thing i wanted to try in bangkok cause I read about it in kennysia.com. it was pretty decent. :)

Grand Palace!

a scene straight out from amazing race. "see, here's the pit stop. that's where we get to jump on that carpet and act damn excited."

boat ride. to nowhere. I don't even remember what river we were on, or what.

our last meal in bangkok.

totally un-bangkok, i dunno what we were thinking (probably too sick of phad thai haha). we went for angmoh Pizza Hut instead!! :)

YAYYYYYY. i finish blogging le.

-dies.

2009-05-14T01:30:00.002+08:00

The day before my last day of school ever

SHEESH i can't remove this underline thing so i'm going to have to live with it. you too. HAHA. Anyway, these photos are from a folder on my computer named 'last day of school ever'. haha. I love the word EVER (read: EVA). :)

So that day before the last was spent in Vivo trying to cram for astronomy paper which would be my very last. And trying to make sense of azimuth, celestial equator, vernal equinnox (blur yet???) etc etc. It was torture.

Yar, in the second photo you can see I'm resorting to reading my own blog for inspiration on why the earth's axis is tilted 23.5degrees. WHYYYYY, this obliquity (oh gosh i had to google for this word, why is my memory so like shittt.) made everything MUCH harder to study.

and the boy was out very very soon after we plopped ourselves down on vivo's wooden planks.

Back then, I was still going delirious thinking about the thailand trip (see you can spot both thailand and singapore in the globe, and trace out the route the plane will take. hahah). AND NOW, TOMORROW I'M FLYINGGGGG. :)

Haha, you would think I'll have loads of photos of the day I finish my exams EVER. Nope. only this one photo, cause we were stuck in traffic on the way to Vivo (yet, again) and the boy was feeling rather tired so it was a rather quiet end to my wad-16years of academic life. :D (-prays i'll not flunk astro or else I can just go delete this entry) Oh, and we went to watch Wolverine and had chunky sugary popcorn. :D

I have yet to pack, and i'll need to leave my house in the morning tomorrow. GOODNESS GRACIOUS BYE.

2009-05-03T01:35:00.005+08:00

I am utterly shocked at my own studying attitude this semester.

I've never been a diligent student (i was superbly hardworking in secondary school but it all went downhill from there, hmmm) , but this time I've really outdone myself!! For the 4 exams this semester, I'm comfortably starting only a few days or one day before the actual paper! and since I've done that for my 2 previous papers, I'm doing the same for my last 2 papers too.

And it's like I'm happily crafting with clay at my workbench even with the examination schedule totally looming on me. I can't even get into the panicky mood no matter how hard I try!! HMMM. but it's good news lar. haha.

And this is my very very FINAL LAP OF EXAMS! I don't think I'll be coming into contact with much books or webcasts or notes after this Wednesday. Oh, makes one delirious just to think about it. I used to think I'll dread graduating but I am very much looking forward to ending this irksome long academic journey. Can't say I like the local education system very much. (watching the Channel8 show on teaching just reminded me of all the crapload of homework we used to have, and piles of assessments and GOODNESS)

So I'll be ending mine with an ultimate high, or low depending on how you look at it. :)

Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I'm almost certainly sure that I'll be heading back to school next sem!! (ahhaha after all that i'm-free discussion) NOT TO STUDY LAR. but to set up a stall for Play-withclay in school!

I've been coming up with all sorts of cool ideas for the stall (i tell you i'm ignoring the books) and like what to display and who should i hire to accompany during slow periods (like when everybody's rushing to class and ignoring me and the stall in all its awesomeness). haha. BUT HOW EXCITING. Actually anything that is remotely linked to my shop gets me really excited. haha.

OH, i have to admit that I'm studying quite hard (by my standards, anything more than one day's worth of reading) for my astronomy module. The course title is Heavenly Mathematics and Cultural Astronomy. Already, the gagging is coming up my throat just hearing the name eh. Me and the boy even bought a globe just for studying for the exams lar. But its helping my very geographically-challenged mind. I never knew that Canada was that near the North Pole, or that Hawaii is really right smack in the middle of nowhere. And we already have plans to travel to Norway one day, to experience midnight sun (where there's daylight during midnight! meaning the sun never sets!). I think it'll be a real bother when we're trying to sleep, but how cool is that for a natural phenomenon. haha.

I AM A GEEK.

:)

2009-04-15T00:17:00.005+08:00

Today, i developed a phobia for MRT doors.

It was pretty damn dumb, how it happened.

Okay, so it all started when I plugged in my earphones, listening to those two FM93.3 DJs bickering away. Then I got down from the bus at Clementi MRT, and had the urge to get some reading material for the long ride to Tampines. And so I stopped at the newstand (first time ever in my undergraduate life may I add) and deliberated between 8days and i-weekly. Then armed with the latter, I went up the escalator, happily unaware of my horrid fate ahead. :(

Nearing the MRT, I glanced at the board which shows the times of the arriving and departing trains. It showed a train arriving in 1 minute, and another in 3. I was stuck behind a whole line of people on the escalator, and I could hear the first train noisily pulling in at the platform. As I marched ahead with the mass of people onto the platform, I saw the train doors already open and waiting. As I stepped towards the train, still absorbed in the music from my earphones, the train doors started to close. And at this point, I don't know what came over me, (I have a strong hunch it's the music that made me forget my surroundings, or something like that) but I continued forging ahead and walked even more briskly.

By the time I was a nose away from the door, there was only a tiny gap available for me to squeeze through.

AND I SQUEEZED THROUGH.

ohgod, i think my brain was screaming profanities at my legs at this point. like "OHMYGOD STOP MOVING, WHY ARE YOU TWO STILL CROSSING THE GAP. MY GOD IT'S HUMAN AGAINST METAL!!"

And I got through, feeling my arms and legs getting slightly scratched (thank god for the rubber lining at the doors). AND MY STUPIDLY LONG BAG GOT STUCK.

And i think at this point, everybody in the cabin must be staring at me. (But I wouldnt know cause I was too afraid and paiseh to look anywhere else, but be horrified at my bag trapped between the doors. I know my brain did a brief replay of a foggy memory of me snickering at some guy who used his newspapers to lodge the train doors once.)

I probably said something audible like shit, but can you believe it, my earphones were still plugged into my ears.

Then my hands snapped to work, and I tugged frantically at my bag, feeling something snap at my fingernails. And then the train doors opened, (now the whole train probably knows some idiot got trapped at the doors, delaying the train. :( ) and a MRT officer came forward to nudge the bag forward too. I almost thought she was going to pull me out of the train and scold me for the dangerous behavior.

The doors soon closed (some lucky aunty jumped in during this interval) and I was left in the cabin with my STUPID LONG BAG and a very very paiseh conscience. I didn't pull off the earphones at all, hopefully blocking out any snickering (deja vu?) behind my back. And I firmly stood with my back to the rest of the cabin, almost kissing the train door already.

I felt this nagging pain on my finger, and I took a quick look. OH GOD, the top part of the nail had completely been flipped up, tearing apart the skin beneath. I pressed the nail back down, and soon, there was some blood visible under the nail.

Maybe it was the mixture of immense stress and shock of bleeding, but my ears started to ring. And my vision got foggy and I felt extremely detached from reality. I knew that feeling. I was about to faint, like how I did just after I tried to donate blood. I was even contemplating what would happen if my knees just buckled and I fainted in the cabin. Wondered if anyone would come to my help. Wondered why I chose to wear a skirt that day.

And then I decided to shake the giddiness off, and I managed to stand hanging shakily to the grippole for about thirty minutes before I got a seat. (people in that cabin must hate me. First I kiasu-ly jumped into the train and caused a delay, now I've taken the Priority Seat) I was breaking out in cold sweat by then.

When I finally got to see the boy at Tenah Merah, I started half-sobbing, half-relating whatever happened to me.

Now I'm wondering if I can't ever bleed from my hands, cause it seems that the two times it happened, I faint/almost faint.

And seriously, in the movie that we caught after that, there was a scene whereby the actress barely squeezed through the lift doors, and there was definitely a visible shudder from me.

Okay lar, damn drama mama.

OH and i forgot to add, that part about the magazine was that the irony was that I didn't even have a chance to take the i-weekly out. What with being busy trying to stop myself from fainting and fighting with train doors and all. -weak smile.

Now I have to try to bathe without wetting my finger. :(

2009-04-05T00:39:00.006+08:00

I'll be surprised if any one is still reading this.

I AM SO GUILTY OF NEGLECTING THIS BLOG.

-hugs and kisses my blog. okay not possible in online realm. TECHNOLOGY. tsk.

I've been procrastinating about uploading the photos, but I know I definitely have to! Cause this is to show the world how lovely my friends are, when they planned for my birthday. :)

Not in chronological order.

My birthday dinner! At Jumbo with chilli crab and lotsa mantous. and a very cute man. (almost typed boy, but backspaced. haha.)

Don't kill me for this picture dear, i know it isn't your best but you look so adorable trying to entice me with mantous! hahha. You can always get your own blog and take revenge by posting bad photos of me too. HEE.

we hopped to a nightclub with flashing lights halfway through dinner.

NOT.

HUGE crab claw!! finders keepers. haha k i'm not that mean lar, there were TWO lar.

My friends - in the form of presents. Didn't take any photos with the human forms! haha.

My friends are all darn creative.

My bestie qiao! I can totally feel the love with those pretty colourful styrofoam flowers you cut out!

That's her idea of a joke. Or was it a genuine mistake?? Now i'll never know. Hmph.

love you too dear, I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE BANGKOK TRIP.
how spontaneous and how exciting la!! This is double dating at its greatest! :)

My lovely MRDJ girls.

My friends have gotten into the habit of blowing everything up. Look at that angbao, compared with the normal sized one. It is almost half as tall as me. But very creative lar darlings. :)

So cute hor, the milk plushie! Though I realise they keep getting me milk-related items (milkbottle for my 21st, milk plushie for 22nd). HMMM. do i look very cow-ey to youuuuu?? Don't answer. hahaa.

The theme was cheenapok.

hahha. MEI BAO IS DAMN HILARIOUS. why you never full mabelllllll.

And they even created this fake sugar daddy and printed out a humongous credit card.

love you too. -GROUP HUG!

My daddy and mummy, I love you! YAYYYY.

And the one who isn't a friend (okay NOT just a friend) gave me FRIENDS! :D:D:D:D

Hello I'm a hardcore fan okay. I've always wondered how come I don't really have favourites. Like favourite singer etc. And then I realise, the ONE favourite thing i have is a favourite drama serial!

-scream FRIENDS in unison. C'mon PEOPLE. okay I'm rambling cause I'm talking to the one who gave me the gift at the same time on the phone.

Season 3 is missing cause it's in my dvd player. HEH.

The pink card with nothing else written, but I can feel da love dear! :) (i am definitely repeating myself here) That tealight surprise was really lovely, and thank you qiao and alex for helping out. You guys even took off shoes, bless your souls. HEEHEE.

YAY. LOVE YOU ALL.

2009-03-21T23:53:00.003+08:00

it's the pre-birthday jitters.

and somehow it's not in a good way.

i think the pessimist in me is really showing this birthday.

not only am i trying to ruin any surprises the boy has planned for me, i'm trying to guess and thwart his plans through and through by nagging at him to give me clues and getting upset when he doesn't.

oh gosh so dumb.

2009-03-15T10:12:00.002+08:00

My capital for the blogshop has been expanding, because I had to try out so many different materials (with little success yet STILL. :( ) and so..

WHAT I REALLY WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS

to receive angbaos instead of gifts! Think of them as a form of monetary support for your dear friend's blogshop! :)

hehhh, there's no greater passion than my blogshop for me now. And I'll really need to money to feed back into the blogshop.

I feel a little embarrassed asking for money so blatantly, normally I go with the politically-correct "Oh, it doesn't matter what you get. As long as it's from the heart :)" answer.

But I've decided to be a little thick-skinned this time. THERE. :)

2009-03-10T02:59:00.002+08:00

Starting a business is a very exciting, disappointing, crazy, tiring, fulfilling, happy rollercoaster ride.

I've kinda rode on a high when it first started out, and I started getting compliments and my customer list just kept getting longer, everything was incredibly flattering. And of course, the additional pocket money never hurt. :)

However, problems are starting to arise, with incompatibility of materials and such starting to materialise from the initial bubble of ecstasy. Now it's just a mad frenzy of trying to find the RIGHT tools and materials, which is INCREDIBLY tiring and can sometimes yield no results even after spending days googling and emailing for help. And it just sucks that Singapore is a land where very very very little claymakers reside, so there's like only this extremely tiny pool of like-minded enthusiast and retailers you can get support from.

which is horrid.

and I start to get very dejected, and I stare at all my invested materials and mentally calculate the amount of effort (moolah and mental effort) I've put into the blogshop. And how it's all going to go down the drain if I just call it wraps.

And then I trudge on, hurtling through all the obstacles that never seem to end.

It's a long journey ahead.

Welcome to the world of business, baby.

2009-03-04T13:13:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, I was a mess in the cinema.

YUP, it was Marley and Me. Not giving away any spoilers, just hit the right spots as I started thinking about Nicky (the golden retriever we've been playing a lot with), and about the new golden retriever that the boy might be getting in around June.

I got a load of really pretty pictures of Nicky (she's a 3 year old girl actually) when we sneaked her to East Coast Park. :)

the doggie biscuits we bought as treats. Lucky for us, cause she was so hungry during the stroll.

Perfectly-formed pawprints, on sand.

Looking mighty fine, Nicky! :)

These two rank high on my favourite list.

The rain was a damper. :(

The dog's always anxiously looking out for the boy! it's so cute. And touching how they bonded so quickly.

Nicky bouncing about in a sea of pink and white flower petals.

The boy looks so cute with his pissed expression. HEEHEE. Maybe he found the entire background too gay.

That's how Nicky looks like when we dangle treats in front of him. Those gorgeous puppy eyes.

If you look carefully, you can see the dog's pawprints and the boy's shoeprints. haha, I was trying to be an artsy photographer. :P

Okay, that's all the one-liners there is.

Now, I have to make use of my No-school Wednesday, and start making orders for the blogshop! :)

2009-02-15T00:48:00.003+08:00

I've been neglecting this space ever since play-withclay started.

and neglecting school. (I haven't done a single reading or assignment or anything academically related YET. FREAK.)

and perhaps you, but thank goodness you've got AIA stuffs, probably saved us a lot of quarrels and tension. But then again, maybe I should thank play-withclay instead, cause I know I'm often the petty and sensitive one in the relationship, so it's keeping me occupied rather than sulking on how your schedule is so damn packed.

today wasn't the very best of valentine's one could have. although it ended okay, not on a sour note which I'm glad for. At the end of the day, I know we still love each other, and that's what matters hur.

I'm really very much appreciative of the ridiculously-expensive bouquet of roses you got me and how you came so early in the morning. :)

But like I said, your company mattered the most, and although you were there in person, more than half the time we were either facing the tv or you the laptop. That affected me, no matter how often I reminded myself how I had to be the understanding girlfriend because I honestly didn't want to add on to your stress.

But of course, I know you can't help the crazy amount of workload you have this semester (screw you 3219, 3216, 3208. SCREW YOU ALL.) and have been trying your best to make the best of things.

I so have to up my level of tolerance and understanding, to quit adding on to your stress. SIGH.

Happy valentine's, dear boy. :)

2009-01-24T14:57:00.005+08:00

The day I took that longggggg train journey from school to the boy's place, just to walk a dog. :)

Nicky! Such a beautiful GR. :)

The boy loves his dogs. :) (okay for the last time, this is not HIS dog. that sentence is like err a meteophor. or something. shit can't even spell. haha)

Oh, and the littleclayshop has been keeping me mighty busy! :) Quite a lot of administrative matters, so this is what it feels like to run a business. HEE.

There's been downs and ups. OH, I can't get over the tingly feeling I get everytime someone praises my works, or if they express interest in purchasing something. Such a shiok feeling!! haha. Downs are usually due to prices (sighh, well at least now I've got a price range system going, hopefully things will get better), or like yesterday when the near-finished clay figurine I was working on totally dropped inside this bowl of water. GOSH, I almost died. Had to recreate the entire head as the colours started running. SIGHHH.

But the ups greatly outweighs the downs la hur. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT. :)

2009-01-23T11:42:00.002+08:00

Hi all! :)

I've set up a new blog (http://play-withclay.blogspot.com) specially for all clay-related matters, to make things more organized here. If you're an interested customer or would just like to see how I've been doing with my little clay business (ahem! haha), do pop over to that blog k! :)

The link will be provided at the side, underneath the column which says 'may they stay dear'.

I will still be using this blog for my personal musings and bitching haha. :)

2009-01-22T12:11:00.005+08:00

Truly flattered with the orders that streamed in after the last blog entry! :)

And so, I realised I was short of so many things, and I went on a solo shopping spree entirely for clay materials and accessories.

For those of you who have been asking what could the clay pieces be used for, here it is.

The 8 items (shown in photo below) could be attached to the clay piece - Small magnet, Big magnet, Spring (which can be placed on the dashboard of your car), Key-chain, Hook earrings, Stick Earrings, Handphone strap, Breastpin/Badge.

Here is a close-up of the hook earrings (on the left), and stick earrings (on the right). Usually the hook earrings will be used for clay pieces which are more 3D and more bulky. The stick earrings will be used for flatter and smaller pieces.

I also picked up some Swarovski gems, and they're all so precious and gorgeous! They can be attached to the clay piece, to give the piece a touch of dazzle. :)

The gems are made of Swarovski crystals, and are made in Austria and imported from Japan.

There are 2 different categories of prices for this collection of gems.

Firstly, this group of gems cost 50cents each.

These are all the colours and sizes of the gems.

To make it clearer which gem you are choosing, please follow this chart. For the top row, first gem from the left (blue-green), it will be labelled as 1A. The second gem from the left on the top row (pink) will be labelled as 1B, and respectively for the rest of the gems. The first gem from the left on the second row (big blue) will be labelled as 2A, the second gem from the left on the second row (small blue) will be labelled as 2B. The same goes for the last row.

The second collection of gems (photos below) shows the 5 gems which cost $2 each. The 2 smaller pink gems are placed in the photo just to show the relative sizes of the gems, and they belong to the first collection (50cents each).

To indicate which one you want (for the $2 gems), gems in the first photo will be labelled as A (the thinner gem on the most left), and B for the other two gems (these two are actually the exact same size and color).

For gems in the second photo, do indicate them as silver-ringed or gold-ringed.

Alright, this is all for now. Happy shopping, and do email me with any queries! :)

2009-01-19T21:23:00.006+08:00

Greetings from my earlobe.

heehee. That's an owl earring that my grandmother gave me, cute hur!

Everytime I leave my grandparents' house, my conscience nags. like when will I be back there to visit them again, will I EVER go there on my own accord, am I doing all I can in reciprocation of all the love they've showered on me? (for the last, it's sadly a firm no.) such heavy guilt of a lousy granddaughter. :(

My CNY dress!
Camera angles deceive your eyes.

Speaking of that, I suffered the brunt of a mean attack that I never saw coming. Totally spoilt the day for me, thanks a lot. (Just one incident like this makes me see you in an entirely different light)

Oh, and Valentine's Day is coming.

cupcake charms.

Wedding cake.

Well, I kinda made all of these on a whim, but I feel they're very made for V-day. haha.

You know how everyone's getting flowers and the prices are hiked up so much it's outrageous? And you walk down that street proudly waving your precious bouquet, and before you can say happy-valentine's, three more girls have walked past you with uncannily similar bouquets. Personally I'll much rather spend the cash on something that's one of a kind, and that I can truly customise to my liking. Well, here's a proposition - fully customisable clay accessories!

~frequently asked questions~

Well, these clay pieces are pretty, but what can I do with them?

All of these clay pieces you see above, can be made into necklace/bracelet charms, or earrings, or keychains/handphone chains. Bigger clay pieces could be made into fancy magnets or paper clips.

So, what other designs are there?

I'll be more than happy to work on YOUR ideas, and customise something for you. Like having me write a name/message on the cake, or making human figurines instead, or your girlfriend's favourite item, etc etc. Anything can be worked out. :)

Items that I've produced are - cupcakes, cakes, human figurines, bears, flowers, biscuits, mini replicas of food items like Mcdonalds' Fillet Burger, Oreos etc.

Hmm, but will the clay be damaged after time?

The clay I use is korean-produced jumping clay, and like the name suggests, they really bounce even if you accidentally drop them, and they won't scratch or shatter, and colour remain vibrant and unchanged forever. Also, they're awesomely light, which makes it ideal for necklace/bracelet charms, earrings/magnets/paperclips. AND, this clay is sweetly scented, which is a huge plus.

Right. Now the all-important issue, what are the prices like?

Prices are not fixed, as it depends on the amount of clay used and detail of piece.
But for a cupcake charm (height: 1.5cm, width: 1.5cm) seen in the first photo, it'll be $2.
The wedding cake (height: 3.5cm, width: 2.5cm) will be $5, because it's a lot more detailed and requires more clay, time and effort. :)

These prices are for solely the clay pieces, and does not include accessories such as necklaces/earrings/bracelets (I could quote you a price if you'll like one to accompany the clay piece). There will be no additional charges for magnets and paper clips.

Rest assured, I will quote you a price after mutual agreement on the final design, and you can decide if you want to go ahead with the deal. :)

How long do I have to wait before I can collect my item?

Usually, from the day the design is finalised to the day of collection, it will be from 1 day to no longer than 1 week.

However, for extremely large ( above 5cm in height/width)/extremely detailed items or orders of multiple items, I will inform you about the time I would require to complete the order/s, and you can decide whether to go through with the deal.

However, I will specially process all orders for Valentine's Day first before all other orders.

The tagboard is so darn small! Other forms of contacts please!

Do email me at joce_1987@hotmail.com, and I'll reply to all requests or questions in 3 days latest! :) Also, you could scroll through my entries for photos of my other clay pieces!

When do I pay, and how will I receive my purchase?

There are a number of ways we can do this.

A. Pay through account transfer and I will deliver your order to an address by post. (though this is not advisable as the piece could be damaged with the rough n tumble)
This will be subject to postal charges, which will be added on to the total cost.

Or we can meet-up, and we'll do the good ol' fashioned money-for-product way. I'll hand over the item and you'll pay only if you're satisfied with the finished product. :)

B. Meet up at an MRT station - only west(EW27-EW21)/central(EW15-EW11). For stations besides west/central, purchase will have to be above $10, or a transportation cost of $1 will have to be added to the final cost.

C. Meet up at National University of Singapore.

D. Alternatively, do inform me of the possible locations of collection and I will try my best to compromise.

~end of faq~

Of course, this can be for any other occasion besides V-day, or even if you just really want to own a totally quirky item you can totally call your own! So feel free to contact me for purchases or queries after 14th February. :)

As I said, anything can be worked out, and don't fret. I'm totally okay even if you decide not to purchase anything in the end. Promise. :)

Oh, and finally, for even more valentine day's gift ideas (fancy recording your own song/message for your love interest? :)), visit www.canonind-memories.blogspot.com.

2009-01-09T12:33:00.004+08:00

I've just finished watching this movie on HBOFamily, (i get this immense satisfaction knowing that i'm making full use of scv, haha. it's like how i feel when i clock in 4 MRT trips on my concession pass, why am i like that.) and it's really interesting.

I know the poster's kinda lame, and the title makes it sound like a really cliche movie, but it's unexpectedly not. It really leaves you pondering about this whole age-old issue of being fat, and how people treat/view fatness, or why there's discrimination against fat people (i learnt in sociology that most people stereotype fat people as lazy people hmmm). I've been so caught up in me, me, me recently, I really needed something like this to keep me grounded.

And it kept me entertained through-out, which I can't say for most movies I've watched lately.

2009-01-06T03:52:00.001+08:00

OH MY! finally a new template for the new year! shit lar, fooled around with this template till now, its 4am! And i wanted to make myself sleep early! darn.

Oh but anyway, now that the tagboard is more visible, do tag! :)

2009-01-05T19:12:00.009+08:00

A long hiatus hur. But it's been a while since I had such lovely plans for almost every single day, and it's really awesome to go to bed looking forward to the next day. (in contrast with, just spending everyday without plans and letting the day seep into night, and night into day..)

So, photos from the boy's surprise party! Actually there aren't many photos of the actual party, cause I was so busy ordering and re-ordering macdonalds (low budget party, paisehhh) to whip out my camera. PLUS, i bluffed the boy i left my camera's memory card at home, so I couldnt use take photos even before the party. So we only started clicking away AFTER the party.

This is the day BEFORE the party, where me and my dear qiao went bersek baking cookies and cake. I really appreciate all the compliments received about the cake and cookies! Qiao qiao, we can open our little bakery already!! (one of my dreams actually) hahah.

here, my pretty santa's helper, sent on the eve of xmas eve! :)

the incredibly fluffy cookie dough, with creamy peanut butter and hershey's choc chips and painstakingly whipped butter!

and here are the pictures I printed using my own printer (i'm really impressed with the quality of the prints) of golden retrievers, for the GR 2009 Calendar for the boy!

This was on the way to meet Kiatying and his friends at Orchard. It was Christmas eve, and the whole of Singapore was in town to countdown. We were stuck in the bus which moved say, an inch a half hour. The jam was SO bad. Oh, and check out our matching shirts. haha. Though his was like super ex, and mine was totally cheap stuff. Explains why my fabric felt like cardboard.

A few days after his birthday, we went to catch our very first 3D film, Bolt! Which wasn't nice. Both of us almost dozed off, the entire 3D effects made everything a whole lot darker, and the glasses kept slipping off. and it wasn't very obviously 3D, but more like only noticeable if you intentionally looked out for the differences.

I hardly wear nice shoes. (okay i think it's nice lar, haha bhb) This was hardly worn ever though I bought them a few years back. Di says I should bite my shoes.

Pretty soon, it was New Year's Eve, 31st December 2008. My babu's TWENTY-FIRST birthday. :)

We nyonya taitais had an unplanned nyonya tea session. haha.

Then it was pool session, i really like playing pool at di's! Especially cause we keep laughing and you can totally hear the laughter echoing around the entire room.

Then it was up to the room and presented the birthday girl with a tiny birthday cake! She was probably thinking like, "what, that's all the surprise you got for me? :( " She had no clue that a BIG surprise was still awaiting. We all mumbled about family appointments and quickly taxi-ed down to St Regis hotel.

And that is the beautifully-decorated St Regis room, with gold and silver balloons floating around, and many silver platters of really yummy food sitting around.

The toilet, where the asstwelve gang hung out at for about an hour. That is a TELEVISION k, strategically placed right in front of the bathtub for you to bathe and watch tv. I think my skin will become wrinkled prunes if I bathe there.

the asstwelve gang. it's so comfortable and such a joy to hang out with them. :)
I won't be forgetting our pseudo-clubbing experience with seehoo as rotating lights for some time. heh hehh.

And a very random end to the picture-diarrhoea. I'm such a sucker for prints. That colourful hearts design is my new tote for school (from bugis village, my gosh I'm ONLY shopping there next time. Prices are awesomely low.) And the storybook-like drawing is my new dress from BV too. It was my retail therapy day.

OH. wait, there's still the wedding of ros's sister and the boyfriend.

Ros's sister is SO chio. (and after I said that, ros said everyone says they look alike. VERY BLATANTLY DISGUISED SELF-PROMOTION hahah)

Everybody loves little kids decked out in little formal suits and dresses running down the aisle.

This was really a tear-jerker sight. Watching the sister walk down the aisle with the dad hand in hand, while he beamed proudly and waved to family and friends. Seriously, I think ill weep so badly at my own wedding (cause too touched by myself, wth hahah) that I'll have to postpone it at the last minute. like walk halfway down the aisle then go-astern out the door. haha.

Pretty wedding-gifts.

Thank you ros, the pretty girl decked out korean-style, for inviting us to the wedding! The food and everything was really great. :)

Oh wow.
That's a lot of major events I've been to this few days.

Sigh, kinda down now that I don't have anything much to look forward to from now till school starts. The next big thing is like the start of school lar, wth wanna puke. haha. Had been meeting up quite often with asstwelve and mab,ros,di that it feels like jc days again, and university is like this distant thing that never really happened. except it did.

Di's in hongkong now, I know I'm really going to miss her around when she's back in london. :(
Four's better than three.

2008-12-26T13:45:00.003+08:00

EVERYONE WHO CAME DOWN FOR THE PARY, LET ME KOWTOW AND SAY A BIG THANK YOU! :)

It wouldn't have pulled off if you guys haven't been so awesomely generous with offering to help with decorations and everything. The past few nights before the party was crazy, with me and yiqiao rushing past midnight still baking cookies and piping decorations on the cake, only for me to remove all the chocolate glazing and frosting as they started melting and everything looked a big mess. :( I almost wanted to cry, scrapping off the decorations and having to settle for a simpler design and knowing it was almost 4am, only a few hours before the surprise party.

Yiqiao, if you didn't help me out with the baking and all, i think i'll still be baking up to the point when the guests are arriving! so thanks bestie. :) LOVE YOU LOADSSSSSSSSSS. and you had tuition the next morning too! awww. -hugs tightly.

And the next morning, my phone was ringing non-stop with smses from everyone who were asking for directions and updating me on what's going on at my place, while I dealt with a feeling-slightly-neglected boy at his place. haha. I was so thankful that John brought over dvds, so that we had Zohan to entertain the 3 different cliques there. :)

Thanks Daphne dear for helping me get everyone to write messages on the photos and hang on the christmas tree. The birthday boy brought every single one of them back home and he was really very delighted reading all of them. :)

My heart was pounding when me and the boy took the lift up, and he was taking so damn long to open the door with the keys, and inwardly I was screaming "ohmy gawd, let him be surprised, let him be surprised." And he opened the door, and there was no one behind BUT my dad. Even I was quite surprised cause I thought they'll all be gathered right behind the door, and I got a teeny bit worried. But then I walked before the boy and saw the ENTIRE group of them crowded at my steps, all armed with noisemakers and cameras, keeping very quiet. And then there was a little small talk between the boy and my dad before he FINALLY walked to see the steps.

and then, SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahah, I only remember the boy's jaw dropping and I was totally trembling with the joy that my god, I've really managed to surprise the hell out of him! And I remember Christine blowing like mad on the noisemaker to deafen the boy. hahaha.

It got even better when the crowd kinda spread out a bit and he saw his secondary school friends at the back of the crowd. :) Later on did he reveal that he really almost wanted to cry already. awww.

And then there was a lot of congratulations and handshaking and "ARE YOU SURPRISED??? HAHHAH" and laughing. :) And I was really happy that the boy received so many presents! Tie clips, wallets, clothes, belts etc etc. It really was heartwarming to see the boy open the presents, knowing that he's missed many years of presents. :)

And even I got plenty of presents! was super shocked and I kept repeating "oh gosh, this is for ME? as in ME?" hahha. cause I really didn't expect anything. Thanks Daph for the Christmas card, it's really sweet. And to Jieyin and the clique, (actually I'm still not sure who is it really from whoops) thanks for the Merci chocolates and that entire bag of goodies! Jiayang can tell you how excited I was at looking at all the different goodies! Marks and Spencer's body lotion, Japanese biscuits, chocolates! WOW! hahah, shucks I'm such a foodie. But seriously, thank you. :) And the boy's mom bought me a sweet pink wallet for Christmas too. AWW. :)

And of course, the birthday boy had a little christmas-giving to do too. That BIG red box with a big red bow was from him, and it was totally filled with pretty and practical and PINK presents! A matching set of fluffy bath slippers and towel, Marks and Spencer's shower foam, and a supposedly outrageously-expensive ergonomic foam dispenser. :))))))) AWWWW, felt like my very own birthday party! LOVE LOVE LOVE! :)

And when the party ended, me and the boy went to his relative's place in the chilly rain for Christmas buffet dinner, where I got to eat macarons, turkey, sashimi and even received another gift. AWESOME.

Then we got on the bus for an impossibly-slow ride to Orchard to meet his friends for Ip Man! Once we got off the bus and tried to walk to Cineleisure on foot, it was like arriving in India on Deepavali (okay, i'm just imagining it'll be really crowded on that day heh). The minute you got off the bus, there was no free will. You moved where the mob of people pushed you, traffic policemen didn't allow you to cross the road even if the green man's on, and you could only grin and bear it if you hear the rattling snowfoam cans and see a spray coming towards you from many rowdy teens on the roads. CHAOS. and we arrived at the cinema halls a whole twenty minutes late, and missed the front part and was left baffled when everyone kept bursting out laughing at every single dialogue of the movie. And then, the boy stayed over till Christmas day and the whole family and him trooped off to a Korean restaurant house for dinner.

Alright, this is too long a post with NO PHOTOS. sheesh. I didn't have time to take out my camera during the party, and so I need you guys to send me all the photos can? :) Facebook compresses the photos so I don't really want to save the photos from there.

A smashing Christmas Eve indeed.

2008-12-17T01:58:00.002+08:00

A little backtracking before Kuching.

3.12.2008

Cheesecake-making for the boys with Yiqiao! :)

This was pretty yummy, if I may say so. A tad sweet (as my aunts reflected) for the adults, but really quite good for everyone else. The recipe used a digestive biscuit base and Philadelphia cheese. That pretty lady is a joy to bake with! I remember laughing a lot throughout the day, and she even cleaned all the dishes without me noticing! :) (everyone knows dishwashing is the only horrid part of baking because you don't really realise the pile of utensils and dishes that slowly builds up in the sink)

Creamy came over and that was the very very first time a four-legged animal entered my house! I was so psyched when my mom agreed the night before. :) And I left my brother with Creamy when me and Yiqiao drove out for dinner so that he could play with the dog without feeling paiseh in front of the owner (yiqiao). Could tell he was pretty delighted too. :)

7.12.2008

Cookout at his place.

It was a flop. hahha. The dishes LOOK rather appetising though, I'm surprised. But I'll be honest, we didn't know when to add the chicken in, how to add flavour to the soup (my mom told me afterwards, that I have to let the carrots and corn simmer for really long, and wine should be added only after cooking because the taste of the wine will change under long period of heat). The boiled crabsticks and lobster balls saved the day (and our stomachs). :)

But anyways, it's one tick on the to-do-together list. Preparing dinner together.

Check!

2008-12-16T02:00:00.003+08:00

i know photos ain't up.

but i'm still going to write before the words escape me.

a few hours ago, i was still in kuching, that place which i had bitched about because i thought it was like so bleahhh compared to bangkok which i couldn't go due to the riots. and now that i'm back, i'm wishing im back there again. maybe now that memories are hazy (yar my memory is like shit one you dunno meh, few hours only memories hazy already. hahaha) i'm starting to forget the ugly side. like how pedestrain crossings are awfully scary and no vehicles really slow down. (but that was kinda fun actually, all eleven of us screaming while running across)

See? A case of the-grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side hur.

i'm such a sucker for holidays.

and i really really miss tucking your blanket properly and watching you sleep in that faint light. we had that for 4 nights. and each other for 5 whole days.

it was a good trip hur. :)

More photos in next entry.

P.S. Oddly, I feel a tinge of sadness that I'm already starting to feel at home in Singapore again. Yar, it's just 5 days away, but I didn't expect myself to fall back in the same ol' same ol' routine so quickly. Sigh. Like how the boy kept sighing on the phone when we both returned to our respective houses. "Back to reality again."

P.P.S Awful ain't it, how we keep seeking for breaks from reality. Why can't reality be what we WANT? Okay I'm sounding whinier than I feel.

2008-12-03T01:04:00.004+08:00

i didn't feel that sense of relief/joy wash over me when the teacher announced 'pens down' this time. im guessing its cause i'm not really celebrating it with anyone yet (since most of my friends finish on fri!) and i was subconsciously containing any joy cause the boy hasn't finished yet, and he's kinda pissed that i'm done with my exams already. haha.

today i actually teared outside Pet Safari, when i saw the golden retriever puppy being bought and carried away by this lucky lucky couple when i've just petted it a few hours ago. :( I don't know why, but it was kinda heartbreaking to see that sight, and knowing that isn't going to happen to myself any time soon. :( My mom is pretty firm on her stand of no dogs.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. yiqiao is coming over to my house tml, to bake. and my mom said okay when I asked if yiqiao's shihtzu could come over! GOODNESS. that'll be the very first 4-legged thing to step into our house. :))) You can't imagine how overjoyed I was. And it seems like the boy might be getting a puppy for his own too!! -fingers crossed fingers crossed. this negotiation with our parents have been going on for like a year.

But I read on Yahoo Answers about how we shouldn't nag at our parents to get us pets if they don't want to, because it's really a huge cost, both time and $$$. and they've already paid enough for us throughout our lives. And I was really enlightened by that, (also really pleased cause my mom just agreed to let me bring Creamie, the shihtzu in tomorrow) so I've decided to stop pestering my mom. :)

and now I'm crazy hungry. Like VERY hungry. I think the last time I ate was at 4something? and it's 1.30 AM now! Okay lar, so I DID eat popcorn at around 7plus. But popcorn is like FLUFF. hahah. alright, shall go stuff my face.

2008-11-24T23:42:00.004+08:00

MUSHY MUSHY POST.

because today was a quarrel/tension-free day of bliss with so much laughter and lovers' bickering. (you know those kind you just keep chattering non-stop and finding little stuffs to pinch and hit each other over, but all the time your eyes are glittering with much love. wahahah)

and because tomorrow will be our fifteenth month together. :)

so here goes (hold your puke).

I see the scribbling and tiny drawings you draw on my lecture notes and I can't help but smile. They are sometimes of gross nature (about flicking gold from nose or chocolate cake from errr.) but a few are with cute little hearts you awkwardly draw and exclamations of loveyous! :)

I get really excited when we walk towards really high escalators because I really treasure those few seconds when I can put my arms around your neck and rest my head on your shoulders, breathing in the scent of your shampoo.

I like not needing to see and still manage to slot my fingers perfectly between yours.

I really like moments like today, when we laugh about everything (and not giving a damn about those papers tomorrow, and the next day or whatever) and anything.

I love it when you pretend to scoot off to the toilet and return with a bag of sweets or some other surprise. :) (although i know my he'sgoingtosurpriseme-radar is too damn strong for my own good. :( )

I like you patting my head and making my hair all messy, then trying to awkwardly comb it into place.

I've never been more comfortable anywhere but curling up in your lap while you dig/tickle my ears with a cottonbud. (why does it sound so yucky and not sweet, hahha.)

i feel awfully protected when i squat in front of the petshop staring at the poodles and you hug me from behind, with your arms enveloping me.

AND ANDD, i really want to eat the peanutbutter m&ms you surprised me with today, but I promised myself I'll share it with you during our movie tomorrow. :)) haha. I AM SO GENEROUS LAR. (although I secretly hope you'll be too busy chomping on popcorn)

OKAY END MUSH.

(you can puke now.)

(ohmygod i just spent like an hour on flickr looking for photos i could upload here, SHIT. my notes are UNTOUCHED. okay this entry shall go picture-free.)

2008-11-22T15:11:00.003+08:00

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there, I did not die.

-Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905-2004)

I just heard this poem recited in Desperate Housewives. and it was so chillingly beautiful.

2008-11-22T13:42:00.007+08:00

A week ago (i think) I attended jiayang's cousin's 21st party, and his really really pretty (she looks angmoh when both her parents are chinese, and she has like brown hair and kinda grey eyes!) little cousin gave every female there this precious crystal angel handphone charm. I really like it a whole lot lar! Cause actually i've seen it around sold in shops and the price is like $14++?

bleahh, ex ex.

And the little girl made it herself! and then when she was asking me to choose one out of the many colours she was holding, i went.

"wow jamie, this is really pretty! How much did you spend?"

(I HONESTLY MEANT TO ASK ABOUT THE TIME SHE TOOK TO DO IT, BUT I STUPIDLY LEFT OUT THE WORD 'TIME'.)

And her mom was standing just beside her, while Jamie was rather taken aback and told me about '$100+'. And then I tried to clear the misunderstanding that I meant how LONG did she take, but she lost interest (and probably grew scared of this money-minded woman) and the conversation came to a stop.

And I was left quite distraught. :( You know, everything is blown out of proportion when they concern your boy/girlfriend's families righttt? So I wasn't exactly over-reacting lar hor. haha.

But then a few hours ago, I saw Jamie with some crayon picture drawn on her hand, and jumped at the chance to make things up. And then she helped write my name and a flower on my hand, and I felt much better.

haha.

Pretty long ago, (wahlao I sound like Moses Lim that Tan Ah Teck haha. A lot of grandmother stories) me and jiayang were going to this pet shop to coo over the golden retrievers and toy poodles there. And I dunno why but I felt nice and I bluffed jiayang to going to the pet shop first, while I went into Watsons and bought him a 4-pack tissue box with pictures of sleeping golden retrievers on them. haha. And the Watsons plastic bag was so big, he must have thought I probably got him like a really great present. and it turned out to be tissue. WHOOPS.

Anyway, please contact me if you've got golden retrievers/toy poodles/dogs, there are two very big hearts here desperate to show some love. hahah.

2008-11-14T19:48:00.005+08:00

the last few entries were really angsty.

but here's a happier one.

although not quite, cause the boy's in my bed now sleeping and im really worried that he's developing a fever. :( and therefore we're not out celebrating, even though today is the LAST day of this freakishly hellish semester!! :) but of course, there're still exams, but OHWELL. relac lar. hahha. -skulks to one corner.

I'm waiting for him to wake up so we can get the car and have some decent dinner (hopefully).

anyway, me and the boy haven't been fighting much since the last post, but of course realistically i KNOW we'll fight again, sometime. but hopefully not too soon eh. and i know i come out of a quarrel everytime learning something, like to be more tolerant, or less easily jealous etc. like moral development. hahha, wth.

and a week ago, my grandpa turned 71! :)

the dog is fake. but my grandparents insisted on it posing there. so yep. the birthday guy gets his wish. haha. (though my grandma did control where the fake fruits should be placed though. yep, they're fake too. haha, but the cake is REAL. duh.)

have i said this before? but anyway, i think my grandparents are one of the sweetest elderly couple i see around. my grandpa's always holding my grandma's hand when they're walking, crossing the street etc. and even more so, now that her legs give her trouble when she walks long distance. and he is really worried that my grandma will get lost when we go into some crowded shopping district or in some foreign country. :) it's awfully sweet you know.

the clay car i tried to model after one of the boy's favorite lambo. haha. errm, a bit off lar, but it's the thought lar folks. hee. and i fussed over this tiny car all night when i was supposed to be cramming for my 40% midterm test!! goodness. clay will lead to my downfall one day. haha.

2008-11-03T02:26:00.003+08:00

i fought with him again. and there were a lot of fucks(on my side) and tears(on my side, okay not a lot, but it was intensive tearing for quite a few minutes) and crazy talk(yep still on my side) and shit damn, i fucking hate this!

he said i should really stop saying fuck, cause it doesnt make things better. but don't u see baby, if i was able to behave exactly in the ways that would make things better, i wouldnt have told you all those shit or felt that lousy way or did anything to sabotage our shortlived happy days.

wtf, quarreling twice in two days. this is so not what i wanted.

and yet i caused it. i bloody took this all upon myself. just slap me, damn damn damn.

this blog's seeing a lot of personal talk from me, but i don't really care really anymore.

if there are any girlfriends out there who are constantly still feeling insecure about every damn thing and every damn girl, please say aye. i need to know i'm not alone, that even if i'm the problematic one, i'm not the ONLY one. and that he can't go running to some other girl cause she's probably going to do the same thing to him anyway.

insecurity breeds. and it kills relationships, and friendships.

fuck insecurity.

2008-11-02T01:00:00.004+08:00

today was another drama-mama.

Really, those songs weren't just being cheesy or what when they have song titles like, 'because of you' or 'you are my life' or etc. (okay i totally made up the second title, and the first title isn't really about what I mean, that's about Kelly Clarkson and her dad, and NOPE, i'm not talking about my dad here.)

Seriously, it's only when things start to get ugly, and when they get better after that, that I realise how much you affect my moods. You could make me laugh giddily for hours, and send me bawling in the showers, just with one look, one word.

Today, I knew I wasn't going to make it home even while I sat amongst busy commuters, sniffling loudly away and wiping away at those tears which kept forming no matter how much I tried to drown myself in the music in my ears. I skipped through all the sad, emo songs in my music playlist (funny how song lyrics take on totally different meanings in different contexts. When I'm happy, I could listen to a super emo song and still be smiling away in my pink, candy, fluffy world. When I'm sad, it takes only some slow guitar/piano notes to turn on those sprinklers.) and turned up the volume way high. But I couldn't get you out of my head, and I kept mulling over things and the tears kept coming, and I had no tissue and people must have been staring.. I was a mess.

And then I knew I had to head back for you. Because I would still be feeling as awful as I was even when I reached home, only much worser because everyone knows its harder to cry in front of family than strangers. And I haven't had one of those episodes where I shut myself in the room and cry my heart out for a really long time, and I didn't know if I was prepared for one then. It wouldn't matter really, even if my mom tried to talk to me or my bro tried to cheer me up, or if my dad went to drive his cab (hahah random) or what.

There was only one person in the world who could save me. (ohmygosh, I'm running a very high risk of sounding extremely cheesy. Really, those who can't stand such cheese can just blog-hop right now. haha)

You. (ohgoshh, so cheesy again. hahha. I gotta stop ruining my emo moments myself)

Okay, ignore all those parentheses. Cause even though they sound super cheesy now, it was really true at that point of time, and at just one stop before I reached my house, I got out of the train, swollen eyes and red nose and all, onto the train in the other direction. Back to where I just left you.

And, sure enough.

:)

and so, to my boy.

you've been so good to me these 14 months, and enduring all my nonsense must have been crazily tough.

once again, i promise to be a better girlfriend. (I really wanna hold true to that!)

i lar-urve you.

2008-10-29T00:07:00.002+08:00

Sorry ah, to all the guys. This entry's pretty much about all things girly. Hee.

Anyway, people who have been out (window-)shopping with me should already know I'm seriously quite a cheapo/miser/poor/niaogui at heart. If I do find something I like, like this Fox pullover, I'll mull over the price for a few weeks until they finally don't have my size anymore. and there, problem solved. :(

Well, part of it is because my family aint the richest around, and also, that first part led to my very very modest allowance (I don't wanna say its pathetic, cause I know there're students out there who have to work part-time cause they've got zero allowance) and gradually I developed this innate reluctance to part with any money I had.

SO. after a long hiatus from contributing to the economy (if you think I'm going to start talking about Lehmann and all, you don't know me very well. haha), I finally SPENT some cash on non-food and non-schoolrelated items! :))

NM3220 Project (don't ever take research modules unless its a do-or-die choice, in my case it's do-and-die. nice.) was driving me and my project mates crazy. Went to Westmall for dinner with Chun and bought THREE bottles of nail polish on impulse, like fifteen minutes before the entire mall closed for the day. I'm starting to realise I am most willing to spend when I'm with people I hardly shop with. That's $8.70! almost my entire day's allowance can! (go do the math)

And thus, I put them to good use. Hello, I don't go spending $8 on some frivolous items for nothing k. I spent some quality time during my family gathering painting my aunt's and my nails. Inhaled enough toxic fumes in those few hours, to put me off nail-painting for a while.

I actually photoshopped the following photo. Siao liao. considering how much schoolwork staring at me in the face.

And today, my mom got me two tops from Pepperplus. NEW CLOTHES!

I was really beaming carrying that shopping bag around, with my two precious tops in there! Checkered tops too, I've always wanted to own one. Yayyy, can finally stop wearing my pink love/hate shirt so often already. Heh hehh.

Darn, photoshop jammed on me. noooooooooo.

2008-10-23T00:52:00.002+08:00

reading this girl's blog http://www.wretch.cc/blog/meltsinangie/, made me feel rather melancholic, and this rush to write in Chinese!! Melancholy cause I used to write and speak a whole lot of Chinese/Mandarin (darn, do i have to be so accurate all the timeeee) in River Valley.

And so the mad and rather confusing surfing around to try and get some free online software so that I can write in Chinese! But, nahh. I downloaded this silly penguin's Chi software, which started showing a lot of not unlike Webdings characters in textboxes, and I was tryin to guess at which button I was supposed to press. and finally I gave up, after the boy urged me to. (the web address didn't seem too secure) SIGH.

I think I'm writing a bit funny right now, cause all that reading of those Chinese entries has got me kinda thinking in Chi too. (like how I used to in sec sch!! at least i think so. hmmm)

Anyway, about the previous entry, I'm uber (allow me one act-cute word k) grateful for all those who tagged. :)) You guys have changed my mind about making my blog private, and I think I shall be writing more for quite some time. :)

Now that FM98.7 is blasting from the speakers, the English songs are starting to ebb away at any of those Chinese urges. SIGHHH. I'm starting to get what was written in Singapore Society notes, about the fact that Singaporean Chinese are the most deculturalised of the other races in the nation. It's quite true hur. and you know, that IS the official reason why SAP schools like RV were started?!?! it was to preserve the Chinese culture in Singapore.

No wonder we had to croon (and croak) the patriotic Chinese poem-schoolsong every morning. :)

2008-10-17T12:23:00.003+08:00

I don't mean to sound all whiny, but i don't like that tiny (bigger if i'm already feeling insecure) deflating feeling when i keep going to the 'beautyoflanguaguge' button, and there's no new tags. It totally doesn't spurred me on to blog, coz there is still this self-exhibitionist streak in me.

Honestly, I don't blog for myself, more coz i want my friends/people interested, to be updated (and i wanna put some use to the photos i take) about what's been going on. but if there's no feedback, there's no point. It takes an awfully long time to post up those photos, and why would i keep spending precious time on that if nobody's even looking at them.

urgh. maybe i should make this a private blog. hmm.

2008-10-10T12:58:00.008+08:00

hello. my former angsty post actually made me feel a tad guilty, cause he's afterall my father. And he's been a good dad, even if he is a bit cocky at times. So.

Anyway, tonnes of photos I wanna share.

At the Fish&Co glasshouse, after yet ANOTHER hell week (hello, its hell semester in fact, damn)

erm, sorry for the photo diarrhoea ahead, especially of me and the boy. HEE.

fantastically chewy GRILLED (good choice boy! hee) calamarie starters. Rarely do we order appetisers, but because there's a 1for1 fish&chips promo, thus we splurge. a bit.

(i suspect i'm using a lot of conjunctions wrongly here)

ahem. we went bonkers. i even tickled myself at the pits to get myself to laugh, which set off loud guffaws from the cameraboy. hahah.

Dedication letter to the band in the house!

haha. paiseh, promise this is the second and last part of the we-are-siao series.

Remember i said i was going crazy thinking about clay ideas when i'm supposed to be studying? I gave in to those tempting colourful balls and tadah! my little egg princess with lovey eyes. haha. colours chosen to match the daiso pencilcase which it'll be hanging from.

A few weeks back, when I was still recovering from fever and

had to pack homecooked macaroni as dinner.

nevermind my half squint expression, my darling looks so happy here! :)

the boy can't wink. hahhaha. and we're imitating the expressions on the

snackbags, if you can't tell. the bubblegum shake flavoured one is pretty icky though,

and it's still in my kitchen till now.

FINITO.

damn, better get started on my 3220 assignments. ASSIGNMENTS LEH, siao one, plural form. one week got TWO. SIAOO BO. I never keep to my self-assigned objectives. bah.

2008-10-05T13:14:00.002+08:00

i don't know how my mom takes it.

all of those self-absorbed comments, all of those snide digs at her singing. hello, i don't care if you sing well or what, your attitude truly sucks sometimes.

quit being such a snotty ass at karaoke, stop all that should-i-join-a-competition musing, quit giving her singing lessons and putting her down while complimenting yourself. fuck, what shit person says things like, 'oh, this song is really hard, with all the twists in pitch. if you sing ah, sure all over the place one.' and looking smug cause you think you've totally mastered the song.

seriously, shut up. god.

and mom, stop humbling yourself and fluffing his ego just because he's your husband.

2008-09-28T15:08:00.005+08:00

I'm missing this certain girl who's in london and there's been no emails or blog entries from her so far!

I'm refering only to the tiny sachet on the box, the rest were for mab. :)

I made these for babu on the spur of the moment when I was idly playing with clay and I suddenly thought of making oreo + milkjug earrings. A little farewell gift before she returns to us in december!

BY THE WAY, my mind is flooded with thoughts of clay and I'm constantly going crazy thinking of ideas for tiny charms for my new daiso pencilcase, for my handphone, for my friends. sheeshhhh. All this passion for clay, and not even a tiny percent of it put aside for studies.

Fever stole 4 out of 7 days of recess week from me, and that's a depressing thought when I know I have two modules worth of revision to begin now that I'm healthy again. Two mid terms in the week beginning tomorrow, sighhh. Nothing is looking good.

On the day the fever curse finally left my illness-ridden body, the boy gave me a telephone call that night, and he said a lot that made sense, but which I didn't want to hear. But now that its been days since that night, its starting to make a lot of sense to me, and I'm starting to accept this new enlightenment, this new attitude towards our relationship.

The boy's right, he said that our relationship should be a complement to our lives, and not one that's eating up both our lives (which it sadly, has.)

I have got to be me again. No longer littlemissattached, but me in its entirety.

:)

Today marks the first day we're NOT seeing each other for two days in a row since 25.8.07. This is a start.

2008-09-23T10:38:00.005+08:00

I'm sick of my wordy entries.

When I was still healthy, and me and the boy combed the entire Arabstreet area for a restaurant which was already long gone. damn. Well, we found another Egyptian eatery to dine at though. But I'm seriously not a big fan of their food.

Yesterday, I braved it all to go for project meeting PLUS meet ros and mab for dinner. We even allocated time for the missing diana to talk!! hahah, babu are you reading this?? Seriously because we ran out of topics (that's what happens when you know people for too long) and ros kept feigning fainting spells, so we started to say things like, "Oh, now diana's talking. Ahhh. Yep yepp. True true." Hahaha. Di you have to save us! hahah.

The lovely two then held my hands in theirs (we didn't care about people staring at us. anyway mabel said the people around us were weirder. hahah.) to give me some much-needed warmth on the train.

AND SO.

The fever saga is NOT over. damnit.

And coz I'm too tired/disappointed to blog about it. Here's an excerpt from a mail I sent Mab.

"MAB!! i only just saw ur email today. and you know what, after I got home yesterday, my fever got full-blown again. and the temperature was at 39.4 lar, even higher than before. :( So my mom rushed me to go see doc, then ive started taking meds and all. And yesterday night was horrible too. Halfway in the night, I started to shiver uncontrollably, even though I wasn't exactly cold, and i took my temperature in the dark, but it was like 37 sth, so nt very high. But then my teeth was chattering and my whole body was shaking. And so I put on my jacket and kept shivering in my blanket even thou i switched off my fan. and then i felt my fever shot up and my temperature too. super shitty i tell you. then i kept alternating between sweating and shivering. arghh. i pray that its not dengue man. Apparently, i have to look out for red spots on my body coz thats a telltale sign of dengue. SIGH. "

I didn't say so in the mail, but the boy took cab to surprise me at home again. :) That darling. And yep, weiye, don't worry, he ain't going to compete for anybody anymore. muahahha. -evil laughter. hee.

I'm such a crybaby nowadays, I cry like mad when I see dear at the door, I cry when I see my temperature shooting up every night, I cry when I think that I might have dengue and that maybe I'll die, and that's what I never knew what to do in my life (because there wasn't really a 'rest of my life' anymore.) And then the boy will chatise me everytime I get to the last part. (and start hitting himself to prove his point. :( )

Mummy has been an absolute darling too, with the constant checking on me through out the night, and when she rushed with me to the doc's yesterday night, and reminding me to take my meds. And today morning, she even found time to cook porridge with minced pork (so at least it wasn't plain porridge) for me before work.

Now that the boy has taken over some of her duties, I wonder if she feels jealous or relieved. haha. Okay I'll be petrified if she tags on the board. hahah.

2008-09-22T11:21:00.002+08:00

I was wrapped up in my blanket in front of the telly, feeling miserable for myself. My thermometer's battery was flat, so I couldn't even know how high a fever I was at. I channel-surfed half-heartedly, my hand almost reluctant to get out of the cocoon I had made for myself to reach the remote. I was cold down to my toes, although the fan was off, and there was hardly any breeze and Singapore's weather was in the crazy 30 degrees.

Then the phone rang, and there was my boy's familiar voice. "dear, how you feeling?" I ranted on how shitty I felt for a while, then I felt hopeful for a while and asked where he was. "Darling I'm still at the carshow lor. At the toilet now."

Bummer. He was still at the carshow all the way over in farfaraway Expo, with his friends. They were probably ogling scantily-clad leggy models prancing around the cars. After putting down the phone, I let that thought dwell in me as I looked in the mirror at my pathetic reflection wearing baggy home-clothes.

I was awfully close to tears.

Channel-surfed for another ten more minutes.

And then, the doorbell rang.

Rushed to the door, praying like hell that my parents weren't at the door, and I saw the silly boy crouching down in an attempt to hide from the keyhole's view. :))))

I then cried a bucketful of happy tears.

:)

(My fever hit a whooping high of 39.1 deg celsius yesterday night, but it seems to have subsided to a low of 37.3deg celsius today. And I dreamt of losing $8000 plus dollars the last night, and yesterday night I dreamt of finding $8000 plus dollars on the ground. What's with my money-minded dreams! sheeshh. Oh, and I'm hoping to be able to make it for project meeting and dinner with mab.ros later today. and I wanna see the boy too! Fever fever go away please.)

2008-09-19T01:37:00.003+08:00

there are days when you have so much negative energy inside you, and you still have to plaster on a smile outside, and then you're feeling so much anger inwards that you think you're going to explode?

well, today was one of those days.

but at the end of it all, love emerges victorious (HOORAY) , and nothing like a few sweet nothings and plenty of sincere apologies to clear up the air.

all's good.

And tomorrow. Shhh. the boy doesn't know it yet, but we'll be seeking our own little egyptian adventure tomorrow. :)

2008-09-17T01:41:00.002+08:00

It's really rare that I post two entries in a row. But I just wanna rant.

Hmm. I feel like my puberty has come late. very late. You know, along with the other biological changes to your growing body that puberty brings, there's the perpetually confused state of mind that people are in puberty are supposed to have. The 'what am I going to do when I grow up?', 'what am i going to do for the rest of my life?' state.

And THAT. is exactly what I'm going through.

Maybe it's the model answer that our tutor emailed around, which made me feel like a pile of bogies being flicked to the ground and stomped around in, when I compared it to our answer. It didn't help that it was a friend's answer. That was probably the spark that ignited this burning chain of emotions, making me feel, really quite worthless.

I wouldn't bore you with the details, but it's along the line of not having gone for interships, or exchange programmes, or even working hard enough to get to honours year even. I can't even remember what I did in the advertising stint before I entered university, though it's always been something I comforted myself with when I see people going off on interships and all the exciting hoobas. (dunno lar, anyhow come up with a word) Okay, intership isn't exciting maybe. But it sure is useful next time, no?

I can't even see myself entering the media industry next time, be it in advertising, PR, journalism etc etc. Its just too damn demoralising. This horrid realisation that I'm going to graduate in another semester. And I have no idea what is going to happen to me. I don't even have any graduation trip so that I can procrastinate first! Oh gosh.

Maybe I should stop whining. Well, if anything good is to come out of this super negative post, at least anyone feeling the same way out there, see, you've got company! And anyone else who doesn't, good for you then. You've got people like me letting you step on my back to climb up the social ladder, or whatever shit. BLEAHHH.

Sheesh, and I said no details. Paiseh ar.

2008-09-16T19:41:00.003+08:00

I am ashamed.
okay well, slightly ashamed.

In two days, I'll be sitting for my first midterm paper in this semester, and I've only read 11 pages so far! And i'm not kidding! HOWWWW. okay, you're probably screaming at me to get off the computer and continue studying, but you know how it is. When you're asked to study, you do all other sorts of stuffs, BUT study. Seriously, throughout today, which was supposed to be my CHIONG day because the dear couldn't hang out with me and so I had a whole day to myself, I woke up at noon, went to bathe, kept walking around the house, ate potato chips, walked around somemore, made garlic bread for me and brother, watched telly, walked around somemore, made mom cook dinner, surfed online, and here i am. Somewhere in there I read 11 pages, but that's really nothing significant to shout about. :(

I'm not even really sure how many chapters I have to read, but I know that it's probably half of the book, and the book is FREAKING THICK AND HEAVY. It must have been a telephone book in its past life. oh gosh so sorry, not funny.

I'm contemplating if I should head to Macdonalds for some serious cramming in a while. I guess it'll help if I'm alone and plugged into my headphones and surrounded by nothing but loud teens and fries. (I think i just had my first i'm-not-a-teen-anymore moment.)

oh by the way, my short hair is hard to manage!! Okay, to give the left side some credit, the RIGHT side of my hair isn't staying in its style. :( But I've always had problems with the right side, which I'm really perplexed by! Cause I have centre parting, so its like I'm giving both sides equal treatment, so what's with this attitude the right side is giving me HUR HUR HURR. hahah, oh gosh. I'm mad.

You know what. I'm going Macs. Now.

2008-09-09T03:10:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh. I can't believe I haven't blogged about my First Anniversary. This being my first (and last) relationship, I can only celebrate a First Anniversary once in my life! So it's definitely a big deal. :)

When the relationship was still budding, and at two months, me and the boy escaped to Pulau Ubin for a quick two hours just cause I've never been there before. (plus the boat ticket was only two dollars) And so, being the avid travellers we are (haha, i make us sound cool, but we've mainly covered only Southeast Asia only. BOO.) , this all-important anniversary is just the right opportunity for a holiday getaway in Ubin!

It started drizzling after a while, and so our clothes got quite damp, but NOT our moods! (ok darn corny) It wasn't time to board the ferry yet, so off we went to seek shelter.

In the arcade. The boy was not amused when his character in Metal Slug died only after a few rounds. TEEHEEHEE.

Finally, the ferry arrives! And guess what, there's only two of us, and the boatman and his assistant on board the 50 something seater ferry. What a waste of fuel.

The only restaurant (well kinda) in the area was just a few steps outside of our chalet room, and it looked rather picturesque with all the dim yellow lighting and brick/wooden exterior.

Either the staff(it was weird that it was an Eurasian teenager serving us!) was just being lazy or they have a different custom in Ubin, but the Iced Milo we ordered actually came hot! with its very own cup of ice, for us to pour into.
-___-

(oh gosh, I'm using emoticons either than smiley/sad faces!)

The anniversary night we spent there was awfully cozy, with snuggly blankets and takeaway box of hot and FAT fries (from the restaurant too, there is NO other eatery anyway. haha.) in hand, we munched and watched Olympics on the small telly screen in bed.

We got a bit bonkers, because we had a few hours to spare before the ferry came at noon to take us back to the city. And we decided to rent bikes and head to the village and Chek Jawa!

So butt-aches here we come!

Really cute wall advertisement.

(See, you don't need fancy graphics and a hugeass budget to attract people's attention)

Our lunch at the village! The kampong chicken was recommended, but it wasn't too nice. (and it wasn't too cheap) and there was too much of it. bleahh.

Wild Boar Alert! We saw an entire family! from boar-lets (???) to mom and dad!

And then it was up on the Tower that I discovered my camera spare battery was missing.

:( Eighty dollars it costs, as we found out at the shops a few days later.

Bahhhh. :( So my smile diminished quite a bit, and I got quite sore about it.

Who has got spare camera battery(model no. NP-FD1) and has no use for it,

here's someone willing to claim it! HEE.

bleahhh, fat hope hur.

Further into Chek Jawa.

The boy managed to cheer me up and even get me doing some morning exercises. :)

After cycling back to the jetty, the very tired two of us searched our bags and pockets for the battery that was not to be found. :(

And so explains the glum faces as I started to get sore again. DARN.

And then the ferry came and took us away from Ubin. Which was very nice, except for that lost. But on hindsight, it was a seriously relac-one-corner place. Plus it was freaking cheap can.

There was some August Promotion for Passioncard (SEE, aunty card also got use) and the rooms which usually went at $90 a night for a twin room, was only at....

TEN FREAKING DOLLARS.

That's FIVE dollars a head!

SHIOK BO.

Random. I accidentally stole two Angelwands from the library. But I shared the guilt (and the crime) with Christine by giving her one. hahah. But so pretty right.

And look at what darling gave me.

A mug, designed with much love and talent and skills,

together with a plush golden retriever (not in picture).

I really adore them, especially the mug! It's right beside me now, filled with water full of goodness, and I'm feeling the bliss. :)

365 days.

we'll work together wont we.

to make the number multiply by itself over and over again. :)

iloveyou, my boy.

2008-09-08T01:11:00.008+08:00

OH GOSH.

after FIVE long years.

I cut it all off! SNIP SNIP SNIP.

the hairdresser at far east plaza was good! Could tell he was rather skilled, plus tattoos all over his arm too! (ok not exactly linked)

Anyway, washing my hair when I got home was a totally liberating experience. Plus it kinda brought me all the way back to my secondary school days, when I was forced to have short hair. I've gone a full circle just to return to being one of those short-hair girls again! haha. (shit haircuts actually make me high. quite loser hur. hahha.) My hair was so easy to shampoo, no more piling up of heaps of hair onto head and scrubbing shampoo into them. And it took about like half an hour to dry! (whereas I usually had to stay up for at least two hours before it dried completely in my long-hair days, hahah what am i talking about, it was just yesterday!) I feel like a boy! HEEHEE.

But I've got to start changing a lot of my habits now. Like, I cant wrap my hair in a towel now anymore, and I don't have to squeeze water out from my long mane anymore. Plus my towel is no longer soaking wet after bathing. And combing takes really short now, with a very significant reduction in time spent on untangling split ends! HOORAY.

okay I know I sound like ultra positive about the hair. But right now that it has dried, it's not so uber nice anymore. :( DAMN. I wished it stayed like it did after the hairdresser blow-dried my hair. I think blow-drying really styles one's hair, but its damn troublesome and noisy! arghhh.

Alright, enough of the hair already. Earlier in the day, we celebrated mab's twenty-first! :)

.loves.

I'm always very happy when all four of us get to meet up. Its becoming a rare event nowa-years, what with all four of us in different universities, and different countries. (okay only di. hee.) :(

Absence makes the heart fonder though, righttt girls? :)

Shadn't say happy birthday yet, cause it's still way too early. 10.09.87. This is the easiest birthdate to remember! heh hehh. Miss Mabel Ng Li Ling, don't work too hard at the Industrial Attachment place and REMEMBER we love you loads k. -group hug.

2008-08-16T00:16:00.013+08:00

There are a few categories photos can be grouped.

1. Self-indulgent ones (those you hold the camera slightly tilting downwards in hopes of enlarging those peepers and reducing the prominence of your nostrils)

2. Group photos

3. Couple photos

4. Crazy photos (those that are super random but really fun to look back on),

5. and ever since the advent of digital cameras, the Blogging photos.

This last group refers to those you snap at already imagining them to be uploaded with captions already worded, and they rarely make it to the photo developing shops. So you've got photos of food, random scenery, few hundreds of snapshots of the same pose, same people just for fun, in this category.

And this is really what this blog entry is for. So that I can upload the said category of photos, before banishing them into forgotten folders in my hard disk drives.

My biaodi's birthday dinner at Sakura Restaurant.

Kbox-ing with nehnehs.

Arts Orientation Week Camp.

Thai Express with babu and lumpy.

Unclassifieds.

homebaked reese peanut butter cups. surprise for the boy as i slogged in the kitchen and he slept like a baby. haha. no more paying exhorbitant prices, TAKE THAT candy empire! hah.

the boy's treat in return for the peanut butter cups. SUPERDOG! -lifts one hand and shoots into the air.

cheap and yummy lunch at vivo foodcourt. This deep-fried flour roll (don't even know if that's right) packs satisfying crunch and flavor, wash it down with a gulp of soyabean milk and go YUMMM.

goofing around in a huge dressing room.

I've always thought snowflakes are really pretty. No wonder the boy fears that I'm turning into xiaxue, with my growing love for pink and now this. hahah.
_________________________________________________________________

Uploading photos is tiring, all that realigning, choosing and waiting. I still have a stockfull of photos from the recent trip down to Science Centre, and Facebook failed on me while I was trying to upload them into an album. Bah. Another time then.

2008-08-08T23:16:00.002+08:00

back from Oweek camp.
regrettably, it was the first time i've been to either arts/oweek camp. there's always that nagging thought of whatwouldhavebeen if i had been less scaredycat and actually registered for them in my first year. but well well, i've been at 3 newmedia camps, and forged lots of friendships in them. so that's comforting at least.

Ending up in Oweek camp was due to a weird turn of events, crashing as a councillor in Sherlock House (champion house sia. :)) and then went over to Oweek-committee as a Logistics member because of various reasons.

Logistics. The time spent there was tough honestly, there were many more moments when i felt frustrated, pissed and out of place moments than happy. In the committee, there were programmers, various heads, and finally logistics. And the latter group (latter-est?hmm.) is kinda neglected, and almost always only sought for when someone needs to move some chairs, to pack some ropes, to fill some waterballoons. Fair enough, other members do say their thanks and all, but it's always well, not enough. You just feel that slight tinge of being underappreciated.

But seriously, I know that the people in O-committee are friendly and generally nice, on an individual basis. I guess it's just human instinct to forget about making newcomers feel welcome, when you're having fun as a group. I think I'll probably act the same way too, in their shoes.

Oh well, I may not have had such a great time at the camp, but at least I know so much more about what logistics is about, and to appreciate them more, and how things work in committees when planning large-scale events (700 plus people). And I think I've developed a few muscles (ok I'm exaggerating) from hefting stacks of tables, chairs and whatnot, up and down stairs.

And the finale was really tear-rendering! Okay, it's the songs lar. The lights were dimmed, and everyone starts linking arms and swaying in harmony from side to side. Any awkwardness or animosity is temporarily forgotten as everyone belts out the lyrics on the projector screen. Even my throat was tight from trying to sing without crying, even though I didn't know the people in Ocomm very well.

All in all, no regrets. Really.

2008-07-30T23:01:00.002+08:00

it's very weird.
i've realised, in my life. i CANNOT work for anything. as in, I CANNOT want to do something. because from previous experiences, it feels like the more I want/work for something, the more likely nothing will happen, or something will crop up and it'll be a flop.

quite a few times already.

bah. this sucks though.

2008-07-29T10:54:00.002+08:00

I suddenly remember di's tag on my tagboard. So there they are. Gigi's many self-portraits. :)

TSK.

2008-07-27T00:15:00.008+08:00

one year later, and it's already my THIRD newmedia camp. THIRD sia. hehh.

so anyway, camp was good, although this time because me and the boy were in charge of planning the games for the first day, it wasn't entirely relaxing and fun.

PLUS, there was some old-problem-plus-miscommunication issues that day. So had a very dramamama ending to it, with the heavy rain (that stopped as soon as we made up. serious.) and uncontrollable sobbing that had to be contained because strangers and new friends were around. I actually got a neckache from stifling those cries.

Me and the boy (the boy and I, whatever) met about a year ago, at the same camp. har. and we still often have that convo where he goes, "you know you must thank daph, coz she was the one who pulled me into the camp. if not, we wouldnt be together and dunno what i'll be doing now.." and I'll go, "yarr. and you must thank mabel cause she was the one who encouraged me to go for the camp, if not you wouldn't get to know me etc etc." Then we'll start imagining where we will individually be, blah blah..

The butterfly effect. heh, thankfully it worked out just fine in this case. :)

(drats, my head is starting to pound. DAMN. must be the 4am bedtime yesterday, editing the camp video. Editing is truly under-rated, it requires so much more time and effort than the simplicity of the word suggests really. It should be called, err well, anything more than 3 syllables.)

This entry needs some pictures.

Last Friday (okay it was just yesterday) was me and the boy's last month-sary! Next month, it'll be our ANNI-versary. :) (and we agreed not to celebrate monthsaries after the first year, only anniversaries. sighh)

whoops, I meant pancakes, not waffles.

I'm darn proud of my pancakes! made from scratch okay! dear actually thought I merely microwaved store-bought pancakes, nahh. I mixed the butter and sugar, separated egg whites from yolks, scooped them into hot pans, and cooked them till they were golden brown. ALL BY MYSELF ALRIGHT. not so bad for a monthsary present righhttt. :)

showing me that his mouth's empty and he ate it all up! :) GOODBOY.

in return, I get milo made by the boy, the traditional way! :)

dear's patio. very nice view lar hor.

yep, I'm very happy with my milo.

this was a steal from Diva shop.

Earlier in the day, we got around to going Ericsson Pet Farm, since we had the car. And one of the store assistants there turned out to be the boy's primary school friend! So we were allowed to pet and hug the many dogs in there. There were cats and kittens too, but they just snarled and gave me THE eye. haha. The golden retriever puppy was SOOO adorable. But now I know there's such a thing as puppy coat, so that wonderful-feeling fur on the doggy sheds to a rougher adult coat after a while. :(

And then, it was off to Ikea Tampines to have dinner!

dear treated me, in return for not getting me any presents while I slogged over pancakes. haha, that explains the many trays of food! YUMMY.

random ikea poster of a gloomy dog.

the boy loves welding his $1.80 magnetic bar. hahah.

my storeroom. also known as ikea's warehouse.

the ice-cream didn't taste or look like vanilla, more caramel-y. good and cheap stuff.

borrowed dear's laptop to work on the video that night. Warmed my heart to see his start-up screen. :)

alrighhhhttt, need to go sleep off the headache. it better be GONE by tomorrow, because it's fondue and wii day, together with friends! sounds fun already larrr, anything involving chocolate always sounds fun. hehhh. :)

2008-07-05T12:37:00.013+08:00

Just that day, I had jumping-clay itch (yep its true, there are some days when its just too darn hard to ignore those tubs of colourful clay calling for me to play with them. haha.)

and so i made 4 eggs, which evolved into 4 human heads.

which evolved into a mommy, daddy, brother and sister! that's MY family! :)

and they all have magnets stuck on them, so they are now proudly standing on my fridge. :)

and just a few days back, i made something totally useless. a mcdonalds ice-cream cone. it's like only the size of my thumbnail. i remember i was trying to find something to do while the boy was snoozing at my place.

anyway, THE ICE CREAM'S PRICE HAS RISEN TO 60CENTS. OH and you know, sakae sushi's sushi are now going at $2.30 per plate! that's crazyyy lar! boycotting that place.

and in the wee hours of the tenth month of being us, dear and I yawned our way to Galleria, took a bus to Malaysia and finally a ferry to Tioman!!

the boy bluffed me he was CERTAINLY not going to get me anything for this anniversary, but hah! that's my first perk-me-up of the day for the long bus-ride ahead! lovely lovely billabong leather flats I've been eyeing for the longest time. I'll go into the retail shop, find the flats, try on different pairs until I get my size (which is the same everytime but I just like to pretend it's my first time trying), and moan at the price, and shuffle my way out of the store. thankyouthankyouthankyouiloveyou! :)

the obligatory tiptoe-so-the figurines-match shot we have to take everytime we wear our couple tee out. this was at the ferry terminal, HALFWAY to tioman!

snacking is a must for long journeys. eating is such fun. and look at the PowerRing! imitation SuperRing! Actually we never know if this is the authentic one, just that SuperRing made it bigger. HMM. and Kueh Piring, those colourful childhood biscuit discs we just love to crunch down on and let little wisps of biscuits float around.

Paya Beach Resort on Tioman! The facilities are pretty reasonable for the price we paid, except that our toilet flush spoilt on the second day and the entire island kept getting power cuts.

the boy with his straw hat.

me and justin on the floating bed at some aquatic snorkelling centre.

glorious sunset.

using self-timer isn't easy man.

joshua and his kite. we kept laughing at his earnest attempts to fly the kite. it was soaring when we returned from our fishing trip on the third day!! but alas, the wind was so strong, the string broke and the kite just flew to high above the heavens. hmmm, wonder where it'll land hur.

oh, and talking about kites, me and the boy watched Kiterunner that day. pretty artsy show, with better-than-average depictions of the struggles the protagonist. It made me significantly less averse towards kite-flying as the whole activity seemed less dumb. (like how I always thought kite-flyers looked while running like mad and throwing the reluctant kite in the air)

By the jetty, where the entire group chilled with beer and tidbits.

i was getting confused with all the different beer names, "ay you wanna get heineken, edinberg, hoegarden etc etc. ?" Took a sip from the boy's bottle, and didn't like the strange taste. I'll rather drink milo or bandung over alcohol anyday.

everyday view for the locals there, for us city-dwellers, it's quite magical.

snorkelling gear.

the boy was all bronze after the snorkelling trips, out at sea and at the aquatic centre. snorkelling is really quite an amazing experience. You feel that sense of awe while you let the ocean tide guide your directions, and just drift freely. your head ducked with snorkeling mask in place, and all you hear is your heavy breathing through the tube, and the colourful landscape unrolling underneath you. corals, fishes in every size and shape. The odd fish swallowing eggs they have just produced and transporting them to a safe nest. The slight tinge of worry that I might really encounter a shark or some large fish, that would have freaked me out. In the open sea, there is really no form of protection, no glass walls like in Underwater World, no large nets to keep them at bay. Just you, and that thin film of swimwear.

the boy at the best part of the hotel breakfast provided for us every morning - the omelette station. You pick and spoon out desired portions of desired items (cheese bits, onion cubes, ham, tomatoes etc) into a small bowl, and the chef prepares the customised omelette for you. That was the only saving grace of the entire meal, the rest sucked. The buzzing houseflies didn't help too.

i haven't seen a fruit fall from any tree EVER before.

it was the end of our tenth month, the monthsary (i just learnt this word from daph! :)) spent at lovely tioman with just me and you, while the rest of the group arrived only the next day. perfect planning i say. :)

cats and kittens were running amok on that island.

It's almost an unwritten rule that when you get to Malaysia, you HAVE to have a Ramly burger.

we were heading for the ferry home. :(
(and a couple of hours later, we realised that our passports are still left at the hotel counter. sheeshhh, super blur lar hur.)

25.06.2008

still very much in love, thank you very much.

2008-06-24T01:33:00.001+08:00

after a bawling session today, i feel much better.

thanks babu and elly. :) -hugs.

2008-06-22T01:44:00.002+08:00

what the fuck is wrong with me. yes the 'fuck' is warranted, at least to me in this case.

damn. i shouldn't be reacting this way, shouldn't be feeling all this boiling rage in me, shouldnt let every fucking insignificant thing get to me.

i never knew i was going to turn out like that. i don't like it one bit. and i bloody hell can't do anything to change. i've tried to stop thinking about it, but that doesn't stop me from goggling stuffs and discovering photos i really don't want to see. have tried to just reassure myself that there is really nothing, but i know that is not the issue that is bothering the hell out of me.

so why the fuck am i like that. is it going to be like this everytime, forever.

fuck.

2008-06-13T01:31:00.009+08:00

that one minute of fame on the small screen. teeheehee.

quite a handful of people messaged me to inform me about it, apparently EVERYONE watches the news. haha.

whee, cheap thrill.

Shall backtrack a bit to my bestie's birthday bash!

21 year old miss lee yiqiao! i can so see us one day many many years later, at ntuc together, two frumpy aunties fussing over which apples have dents and redeeming cut-out coupons at the counter. hmmm, actually not that we don't do it now also hor? HMMMMM. hahha shit.

All the same, I know this is cliche but I wish for your happiness (family, teaching, love) from the deepest deepest depths of my heart. ahha. :)

fourg girls.

awww, so cute!! both. haha. :)

Creamy, or rather more affectionately called mimi is qiao's other darling. And she is the answer to the question I always ask myself when I see di's Shihtzus, "Hmmmm, what if she cuts their hair?"

See di! Short hair is cute too wad. Hehhh. but the shaggy gigi and rover are cute too also k. haven't seen them in a long while.

2008-06-09T01:20:00.003+08:00

it's 1.20AM, Sunday night.

and somehow there is this slight uneasiness within me, maybe because I know that for this coming week, I've got 2 days in coffee club, and 4 at the IT fair. and I'm such an IT goon.

I totally need tuition from the boy to tell me what is the RAM for, what is the difference between Intel Core 1 and 2 etc etc. and I was kinda counting on this weekend to get that down pat, but this weekend just flew past in a jiffy!

Just now we spent our Sunday at qiao's birthday celebration. And we had a really heartwarming conversation after that when I called her at 12 to wish her happy birthday. It's been a long time since we talked that long, and im really glad that I can (and will!) be there for you, qiao. I've never been a hugger kind of girl, but I've started to experience the emotions they bring that no words can ever stir up. happy birthday dearest bestie. :)

About work at Coffee Club, so far it's been a breeze.

NOT. hahaha. okay, that's quite a sad joke to make. Anyway, I'm still having lots of problems with beverage and food setting! And I've seen more than my share of black faces when I ask already-busy colleagues (especially this one moody zharbor. grr.) about whether should I put the giant black straw, or should I include a jug of warm milk. blah blahh. Damn, why am I not a coffee-drinker!

And the rush hour periods are hectic hectic hectic! Actually hectic is fine, it is when it starts to get really messy that you start to panic. Like, when you've got a lady at the front desk waiting to make her reservation, plates of food to be served at the kitchen, group of teenagers waving for the bill and man beckoning you to take his order. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. and add this to the fact that I still can't get my setting right (refer to top), which makes everything that much slower. SIGHHH.

but i love it when that moody bitch isn't there though. That day, I worked an 11 hour-shift, and she had an off day, and it was an ABSOLUTELY perfect day. It seems like I always tend to screw up more often in front of her, and then her black face just screws me up even more, so on and forth. Vicious cycle indeed. The other colleagues are really great people to work with, funny and helpful. It's just her.

But I shouldn't make that become my problem hur.

I just hope I really absorb all that information at IT fair training tomorrow, and NOT conveniently throw out all the coffeeclub knowledge.

2008-05-29T02:14:00.002+08:00

the mewing of the cat is still ringing clear in the quiet night.

seriously, I've been deceived for more than a few times, when I've checked out where the mewing is coming from, expecting to see a tiny kitten huddled frightened and looking for its mommy. But, more often than not, it's an adult cat in a rather unthreatening situation. Or maybe it's just in its teens, not that I would be able to differentiate between a 30 year old and a 18 year old.

Whoops, digressed.

These few days, me and the boy have been experiencing recurring bouts of cold wars and quarrels which seem to lead nowhere. And it seems like it all boils down to me, and money issues. I knew there was a ring of truth in the moniker my cousin used to call me "Ah Lui (love money in Hokkien)".

And so, we've decided to steer clear of topics like jobs and casino losings etc etc. That seemed to have done the trick, the happy couple seems to be re-surfacing again. :) Albeit a little sick though, since I'm still recovering from the cough the fever left me with, and he's starting to develop symptoms I had. choy ga lei!

We both knew that getting a job would make me feel better about that state of being income-less, and so I got around to that.

and from next week onwards, I'll be one of those cafe girls at Coffee Club! (and hopefully me and qiao will get lunch breaks together) Trying to psych myself up, for it. :)

2008-05-24T14:22:00.007+08:00

back from genting.

I was down with fever, sore throat, and lost my voice soon after. I endured the smelly smoke in the casino for hours, just to end up a few hundreds poorer. Woe is me.

but thankfully the boy was there throughout to take care of me. I was about the worst travel companion ever, with my incessant sneezes and elephant-trumpet sounding nose-blowing.

Thank you for checking on my fever every now and then throughout the night, for always giving me the window seat (because you know i get car-sick too easily, or because you know i love to stare out the window and report any unusual sightings like cows on pastures (really! but they're beef to your eyes, you hungry boy.) i really don't know. but no matter what.) , for enduring the embarrassment my nose-blowing induces, for covering my nose and mouth when a lit cigarette is near, for attending to my whining and teh-ing, for being my voice (to stall aunties at food courts) when my voice faltered to a bare whisper.

Gracias.

Kaya balls from the first pit stop. The cheesy ones I had once along some streetside hawker in M'sia were yummier though, or maybe being sick just brings down the taste a few notches.

I was already lethargic and shivering as the fever attacked, here (on the bus to Genting), but photos really don't show.

waiting in the check-in place as we arrived at the ungodly hour of 3am and this was after losing my first 700 ringgit at the casino. I remember the fever really kicked in this one hour.

my boy commented that I blew my nose more than I talked. which was sadly, true.

after the one hour winding and nausea-inducing bus ride down to Kuala Lumpur, we made for Times Square, and made the smartest choice to eat at Shabu Shabu. We selected so many dishes for our steamboat lunch, and the price wasn't more than $20 sing.

the egg I was carefully cooking for dear.

he asked for a fake-smile pose.

On board the KL monorail, where we could see the driver at the front. This photo was taken by the boy, after I chickened out, cause I was afraid the driver would kick me out.

Oldtown in KL, opened by Mark Lee. at least, dear says so.

what's an order chit la, at least order shit makes sense.

I could reach out and touch the indoor rollercoaster, it was that close to the glass walls.

My last meal in Genting, and I think this will be how my meals would look like, judging by my health condition now. plagued by bacteria, damn.

my boy and his psp. Gave him something to do, when his girlfriend was too busy hacking away.

The First World Hotel we stayed in, is behind us. I'm clinging on like a koala.

Mo Fa Ko, which braced my weak stomach throughout the trips down and up the mountain.

And now, I've got no voice, not even raspy.

My msn nick is, "how can my thoughts sound so loud in my head, when my voice is all but a whisper."

Pui.

2008-05-14T00:00:00.005+08:00

OH yeah, and have I mentioned. the exams are done and over with! So a little backtracking here, to that happy thursday the dreaded papers ended.

We wanted total liberation from anything related to books, notes, scholarly etc. And so, we headed down to where words were replaced with grunts and howls, and stacks of textbooks were replaced with trees, trees and more trees! :)

Night Safari! with dear, ele, and sidney!

seriously, it is hard to resist that colourful Ben & Jerry's icecream palour, especially when you're in that bubbly, fall-down-also-will-laugh, after-exam mood.

the daunting bridge that didn't turn out to be scary at all.

the 45-min long tram ride. after it, we were all talking with that heavy drawl in the guide's voice. "anddd to the lefffttttt, youuu wiilll seee an elephhaantt." amusingly dramatic.

there was this particular location which looked so outta place on the tram ride. We were all trying to capture it on film, but enabling flash or adjusting exposure didn't work.

It was like a scene out of some National Geographic channel. A majestic lake with its clear waters mirroring the distant mountains and the moon that hung high above the safari. It was an awesome, breath-taking sight, particularly in the mysterious aura that night brought with it.

me and elly!

Couldn't get up close and personal with the real ones. So beggars can't be choosers eh. :)

the show might be full, but we safari troopers sure aint!

And so, after being chased out of the safari by zookeepers (haha, I bet we were the last few still in there taking our time, while it ticked closer to closing time, plus a storm was brewing), it was supper time!

sorry dear, it might be tak glam, BUT still cute wad! :D

teehee. i like this pose. brilliant suggestion elly! :)

2008-05-07T01:31:00.002+08:00

http://www.imeem.com/amiralysa/music/s98k5lFt/natalie_imbruglia_torn_acoustic/

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn.

Nope, nothing devastating happened. Well, unless you count on some news of bad grades, but I'm trying to look past that and stop being sore about it.

It's just that I was reading xiaxue's blog, and she wrote about the recent case of this father who raped his daughter and fathered his own grandchildren. And then the song came onto the radio.

And somehow, in the dead of the night, with the cold aircon on, the song and the article just seemed to match. Like I could imagine the daughter feeling exactly this way. I'm counting my blessings, and I wished there was something that could be done for people in such sorry plights. But it just seems impossible to reach out to any.

So many horrible, sad things happening in the world. :(

and I was actually feeling working myself up into a foul mood because of that minor issue about grades. Life has been good to me really, so work that smile girl. :) -beams.

I'm all out of faith

This is how I feel

I'm cold and I am shamed

Lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed

Into something real

I'm wide awake

And I can see

The perfect sky is torn

You're a little late

I'm already torn

Torn

2008-05-04T17:44:00.002+08:00

I'm going to muster all my courage,

all my courage, to enter the examination hall and attempt to write three essays without learning or remembering much of any of the SEA-related things thrown at me. what phallic symbolism, what colonialist impacts. I'm going to write the essays with good old common sense, while squeezing any bit of academic information I remember from the cramming session I had when the boy came over yesterday.

the boy just went and donated his blood, and signed up for bone marrow donation. which means that if any requests for bone marrow matches his, then he'll be called up to go for the operation for them to extract his bone marrow! i know it's all for a good cause and everything, but merely the thought of him on that operating bed, anaestheticized (walao, dunno how to spell) and unconscious just pains me.

but still, I respect his decision.

crossing my fingers in hopes of gathering a decent number of people to troop down to Night Safari on Thursday night, the eighth day of the fifth month, the first day of LIBERATION. :)

Me and shiqin both agreed that there is nothing more satisfying than hearing the head invigilator say 'Time's up' and the teachers start bustling and going about their business collecting papers, while you beam widely around, looking at the final paper in front of you that might be gone (as in failed) for all you care since you can't do anything about it anymore anyway.

SH-IIII-OOOO-KKKKK.

okay FOUR more days. lucky shiqin's ending with philosophy TOMORROW. phoooooeyyyy. heh.

i haven't been studying much, but i'm just really reallyyyy restless. and a restless me isn't going to settle down easy and read my notes.

2008-04-27T15:03:00.002+08:00

i've started to be afraid of the moment i close my eyes, till i finally get out of bed.
these few nights, all my dreams have been tension-filled adventure chases, mentally draining hours.

I can't believe I thought my exams started on Thursday, when it's Wed. eeks. I've still got wad, 15 chapters to study in 2 and a half days? hoorayyyy. heading to macs with dear, john and michael later. self-invited myself. wahaha.

2008-04-20T18:06:00.000+08:00

Yes yes, as SOMEONE has reminded me, there is one post that is WAYYY overdue.

and so here it is, BIRTHDAY PRESENTS from so many santas! :)

_________________________________________________________________

Let's go in chronological order.

my secondary school class, 3/4G!!

The girls have really pitched in much. :)

They've gone really branded, Guess and Baby-G sia. You girls spoil me too much. (actually its Yiqiao, the sole bearer of the presents-buying. :) thank you bestie) Now I've got a rock-inspired red wallet to replace my sadly-burnt Billabong one. and a BabyG watch to boot!! I haven't had worn a watch ever since I stepped out of River Valley High! But I'll start soon, with such a pretty grey-pink one. :) -HUGS to all the 3/4G girls (too many to name! :)) who split with their moolah.

the boys! marco, kenny, songlip

it's hard to go wrong with Bodyshop items, seriously. :) and such a lovely card too. (although I spotted you guys still penning in your well wishes outside the chalet, and I saw through that peeing in the bushes joke lar hur. :P) I'll put that candle-burner to good use one day, :). THANK YOUUUUU ALLL.

the boys! zhibin, qiling

sighh, the flowers have wilted by the time I managed to get hold of a camera. But still, I appreciate the efforts. You guys do know the way to a girl's heart hur. with flowers and book vouchers. :) also, qiling thanks for heading down from the west to the east, even though u knew everyone from the class had left. (although I know its partly coz you wanted to see someone else lar. ahem ahem..) haha. THANK YOU TWO.

________________________________________________________________

And then, it's the National JC bunch!

Firstly, Youyi!! you totally caught me off guard with this thin tube when you whipped it out! haha, innocent me couldn't figure out what it was until you enlighted me that it's a cigar. All the way from Thailand. :) thanks man.

This is from the entire class. I know you guys have always tended to get me accessories for birthdays, but you all have outdone yourselves this time. The necklace is DARN pretty, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart k. (of course, shitter SHIQIN!! thank you for choosing and buying it! -hugs) And to those who managed to write their birthday notes to me (including shingkae) thanks a bunchh!! MUACKSSS my entire class.
_________________________________________________________________

hmm, university next!! NATIONAL UNIVERSITY OF SINGAPORE.

Wes! too bad your girlfriend couldn't make it :(. BUT ANYWAY, i think this furball is darn cute. Mushabelly somemore! how amusing. heeee. and i get your good intentions about making me remember my kiddy side despite turning 21. DONT WORRY, i'm all about kiddy! thanks man. :)

To Fee and Jason! thanks a lot of coming down to the party k!! and i hoped you guys found the mini mahjong set amusing. wahaha. quite a laugh righttt?? although i know wes and jason, those serious mahjong-ers wouldn't see the fun. hee. thank you for the vouchers!! :)

Fuzzy, Weichun, Wanting, Cheryl, Audrey, Mabel!!
I had the most fun unwrapping your presents. :) I had no idea there was more than a bag!! and it was like, wow there's a envelope with a hot pink underwear, WOAH still got handwritten letter, PHWOAHH still got still got gold box with darn pretty charm!! :) THANK YOU. i loved each and every one of them, and each and everyone of you. Some of you, I haven't got to meet for quite some time. :( but the holidays are soonn! and then there will be lots of catching up. :) Loves.

Ele, Christine, John!

Do you all know your present reached me the stroke i turned 21! :) the photograph with the special glittery effect and the frame is sucha sweet present really. and everytime i look at it, i get reminded of all the rockin' good times we spent together. sighh, i miss them! :( but of course, there are more to come, RIGHHTTTT.
oh, and the cards!! (BOO JOHN YOU HAVE NO CARD. hahha, okay but you made up for that by drawing on the box) such creativity, such colours, so much love emanating from them. lovelovelove.

____________________________________________________________

And then, there's the family. :)

My cousins + brother + Angeline. YOU ALL ARRR. ehh very touching leh, a bunch of guys (all different age group, from 17 to 23) and a girl shopping for my presents! can't imagine really. Just knowing that all of you got together for me would have been good enough. but noooo, you had to buy extremely expensive presents. The Swarovski crystal necklace, and the Royce chocolates (although I bet Randy made you all buy them so he could eat too. whaha). I LOVE YOU ALL. plus, it was just superb quality time spent with all of you at the chalet, you all crack me up loads!

AH MA! :) okay, i can bet on my life that you wouldn't be reading this. But I really am in deep deep gratitude towards all that you've done for me, given to me. WA AI LI! :)
_________________________________________________________

My three lovelies - Diana, Rosalinda, Mabel

The theme was 'larger-than-life', or so I've been told. Ehh damn wacky lar, the passport which meant my passport to freedom, how apt. and the cute bottle of peanut-filled marshmallows, AND THAT HUGE ASS poster of me made up of tiny 2D memories of all 4 of us. awwww. :) And have I mentioned the durian cake and durian roll! YUMMMM. Nothing beats knowing someone loves you enough to take note of what you really like. I love every bit of the presents. They made me a very happy girl that day. :) I know all of you have been really busy with schoolwork, and working on the present must have been taking away a lot of time. so KUDOS. :)

you guys have been there for me every step, and we've been hanging out with each other for so long, that it just gets really natural and comfortable to be around you all. :) I really can see us 4 growing old together.

I love each of YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. -BEAR HUGS.

_____________________________________________________________

My one pillar of support, bestie, shopping partner, relationship advisor

Qiao!! my lovelllyyyyyyyyy girl. you totally took my comment that i like pink seriously, haha. don't play play k, the perfume came all the way from mighty US of A yar. This is the first Victoria Secrets item I have received you know, makes it all that much more special. And now I've got the very same Precious Moments paper bag I gave you a few years ago! :)

and the piece of plastic on the birthday card, I thought it was pretty and all, but only when Jiayang enlightened me that the bits of silver on it was soldering, which was melting of silver bit by bit, that I realised you must have spent a lot a lot of hours on it. The words, and the butterflies. just perfect dear bestie!! :)

___________________________________________________________

the only specimen of the opposite sex, that I truly love. (in a romantic sense)

Right down to the L.O.V.E bag, and the paperback novel which had a couple holding hands, everything you gave me seemed to emit this VERY fragrant smell of lar-uve. :) There's only so much ways I can express my gratitude towards how you go extremely out of the way to give me a smashing birthday. The digital photo-frame in the cute purple box, came with a really funny surprise carried out in the Genting hotel toilet. And have I told you, I wouldn't want to celebrate the very first moment I stepped into 21 years with anyone else, but you! You, my dear, who ordered an EMICAKE durian cake just for me, and got my family to surprise me in the dark, who spent hours and days and nights meeting up with my side of the social circle, endangering friendships (hahaa) by rushing people for their video footage of well wishes to me, editing the video, creating a lovely photo montage, getting me a book by my favourite author, simply put, making everything so much more special.

You have been the tausah in my tausah pau, the meatball in my yongtaufoo, the chocolate wafer biscuit in my cake. (yes yes, I can only think of food analogies. haha) You have given me so much, made me all that more blessed.

and I know I've been wearing this phrase out, but know that I mean it with my heart and soul everytime I say it. I love you.

__________________________________________________________

penning off now, a very blessed me.

2008-04-20T14:18:00.003+08:00

Sunday morning.

yesterday night was the most drama of all nights i've ever spent in my entire life.

when we finally stepped onto the bus-stop after finishing our ushering work for the night, i was in the midst of taking off my earrings that i had the horrible realisation that my gold necklace had slipped onto my neck and the gold, diamond encrusted pendant was missing! the necklace and pendant was a gift from my grandma, and it was only the first time i was wearing it yesterday. (i found it too tacky to go with anything, except all black, which i had to don on for ushering duty)

me and dear started to comb the streets and roads, which actually had quite a heavy stream of cars driving straight towards us every once in a while, which made looking for that small little thing pretty hard. i never knew that there were so many things that glittered in the dark, in the grass there were little slips of plastic, on the pavement there were shiny rock mixed with concrete. that, combined with the fact that it was nighttime, and it was a pretty long walk from the theatre to the bus-stop, sucked. dear was lugging around laptop and a heavy bag of clothes and books, and i knew his shoulders and neck were aching like hell, but he didn't complain one bit and just kept bending his tired neck in search for the pendant. (which made me feel even worse when i think back to what i did to him later in the night)

we traced and retraced and re-retraced our steps over and over again. but to no avail. people were staring at us as we walked on the busy roads like it was ours, keeping our head down, and squatted on grass in an attempt to see clearer.

i know this sounds damn corny, but it was with a heavy heart that i finally stepped onto the bus to head back home.

and then another drama started, with me getting pissed (i have got to do something about my pettiness and horrid temper) at dear for trivial matters, and ending in me stomping up a bus, with tears-filled eyes as dear shouted at me to come back. and i stupidly stupidly stupidly (i cant say this enough) ignored him, and stared straight ahead stubbornly when i was finally seated in the bus, although i know he was outside, waiting for me to look at him.

I picked up his call after missing two of them, and he gave me a scolding that i totally deserved, before hanging up on me. and so began my long stream of calls that were not to be picked up, and 'im sorry dear' smses that were not to be replied to, and him answering and hanging up before i could say a word, to make it clear to me he was darn bent on not talking to me.

and i totally deserved that.

and that thought just kept haunting me throughout the entire ride from Outram to Jurong East, and everytime the train stopped and opened its doors at a train station, my heart kept telling me to get out of the train and board the one opposite, to tanah merah. but my tired legs kept saying it's okay, i should just head to his house tomorrow morning, and that it was already almost midnight, and i sure wouldn't catch any last train back if i decided to get out of this train i was in.

and this tirade of thoughts just kept flooding me, and i was mentally exhausted with a pounding headache, by the time i reached Jurong East, one stop away from my home. and it was then i listened to my heart.

and got off the train, into the last train bound for tanah merah.

as the headache continued to torture me as i sat on the rather empty train, with thoughts of what i would say to him running through my head, the missing pendant suddenly popped into my already-very overloaded mind. and i had that rare stroke of genius and i decided to check if the pendant dropped in the fold of my pants, which i had folded up because it was too long.

and tadah, it was there. lying there untouched, and i was in utter disbelief when i picked it up, still shining brilliantly, and i was shocked with the realisation that the whole time me and dear had been risking our lives looking for it in gutters and on roads, it had been so close beside me through-out.

and so, after what seemed like an eternity (actually forty minutes) i finally reached tanah merah. And i climbed over and jumped down the fence i thought i never would, and leapt across a pretty wide drain, because i wanted so badly to see him.

so when one of his neighbours opened the gate, i waited near the lift, and when he appeared, i fell into his arms crying like a baby, apologising over and over again.

and by 2.30 am when i reached my house gate, finally, all was well.

2008-03-31T01:32:00.026+08:00

MY TWENTY-FIRST BIRTH-DAY POST.
and so, I got one year older, for the twenty-first time on 22nd March 2008. And the very next day, (you gave it awayyyy, whoops xmas song earworm! okayy never mind if you don't understand.), anyway the very next day on 23rd, friends, good friends, best friends, boyfriend (no plural form here, please note! :)), family, pets, stray cats all gathered at Aloha Changi chalet for the happy occasion! :)

happy shalala.

one of the many(okay four, haha) rides me and dear went for in Genting! this particular one, helped air my feet! hahha.

anyone can be a good photographer, with macro function.

my birthday 'cake'!
dear was howling in the hotel toilet, so I rushed there to see what had happened. turned out it was all an act. there were three lit candles stuck around the digi photoframe, with a very pleased as punch boy holding the box. :)

On my birth-day itself, I arrived with dear at Aloha Changi straight after the long bus-trip back from Genting, and already I was expecting an ambush. hahha, all because dear kept getting calls on his phone, and my daddy let out a very loud "SHHHH, aiwei is here!" when I approached the unusually silent and dark chalet.
And there they were, when I opened the front door (okay actually dear opened the door first, so my family was actually singing happy birthday to him at first, but I was pushed to the front quickly. heh). My mom holding the lit Emi durian cake that dear ordered in to the chalet (and he was the one who suggested that my family surprise me! love.) and my entire family on my mom's side clapping and singing Happy Birthday. The only light source was from the three candles on the cake, and as my mom slowly approached me with the cake, the amber light fell on many of my family members' faces - my cousins, dad, aunts, uncles, brother. They were all there, singing with smiles stretched so widely. It would have been quite touching if I hadn't been so tickled by how my dad really ruined the surprise element. :)

very durian, very rich, very heavenly. -hugs my dear for the cake, and Mab and Ros for the slice of durian cake and durian roll! kudos for remembering I really wanted a durian cake!! :)

and I had a lovely time that night, with only me and my family - totally my comfort zone really. barbequeing, watching the birthday video (THANKS YOU GUYS. AND DEAR. :)), scary yet hilarious hike to Old Changi Hospital, supper with dessert and bapoks, totally laugh-till-cannot-stop wacky games with cousins etc etc.
And 23rd came, together with the partyyyyyy for all lovely people!! -winks. :)

oh my so cheesyy. (my mom, together with my aunts, innovatively cut out all those letters from magazines lying around the chalet, because we forgot to buy material! nicee.)

three/fourG class!! you guys had the strongest attendance there!! :) Really really touched that most of you came. LOVE. (P.S. I need to find out which camera took those photos with my 04S12, and NUS friends! HMM. paiseh guys, your photos will be up as soon as I find them!)

and I wish that I was in shorts and oversized shirt, and not in the restricting self-sewn Hula&co dress.

I think I was trying to shoot christine. haha.

hahaha, those air guns filled with confetti were pretty amusing.

OKAY, now there's a whole series of group photos, with most of you in them. So sift through them, for your face! :)

my family.

(both sides! I wonder if any of them has seen anyone before from the other side. It's weird.) STILL, I really adore each and everyone of my them, my blood-relations. haha.

my friends. my lovely lovelyyyy lovelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy boys and girls. :)

my boy. the one who made me cry (touched-until-cry) and laugh lots during the entire birthday weekend. :) ilu.

POST-NOTE:

i know i haven't said anything about presents at all!! and that's because my digi cam is still spoilt (it got spoilt the night I returned from Genting. how suayyy.) and so I still can't take any photos of the presents, and I really want to. So they're all sitting pretty and pretty much placed back in their packaging in a corner of my room, awaiting for Photo-day. So sorrryyy to keep you all waiting, just pop into the blog once in a while k? because I dunno when I'll be able to repair my digi cam too. but trust me, i WILL. (either that, or I'll get a new one.)

2008-03-18T21:16:00.003+08:00

brings a smile to my face just to imagine a mini-sized him, eagerly awaiting for a bottle of yakult after his haircut everytime. because as his mom had promised.

"jian tou fa, he yakult!" (read in chinese hanyu pinyin)

alas, couldn't relive those memories for him as yakults were no longer sold separately in Cold Storage, and promises are no longer that simple to keep.

ANYWAY. march is such a hectic month, with the whole barrage of assignments, project deadlines, tests crashing down on us. SIGHH. it's my birthday month la!!

hmmm. shall try to curb my sighing. have been doing a lot of that nowadays, while thinking about how i couldn't get my desired durian cake for the birthday chalet, how much i spent on my stupid scalp, how much work i had left to do..

BUT, happy events are awaiting!! TWO MORE DAYS. and i'll be shuttling off to chilly genting! and then it'll be the birthday chalet, lots of mahjong, bbq,

and just lots of loving from friends and family. :) nothing beats that.

2008-03-14T21:38:00.002+08:00

remember the jerberra (i still can't spell it) you bought me, and that surprise you and your brother sprang on both me and wenli at heathrow airport? it all seems so really long ago, that they ought to be fuzzy blurry memories by now.

but surprisingly, I still can remember in vivid detail, that bizzare toilet outside Eiffel Tower, the little breakfast treats you got me while I waited for you to come back from the laundry room, the loonnnggg email you sent me with full instructions on how to get through customs.

i miss you too babuseng. :(

2008-03-10T13:24:00.002+08:00

http://thingsthatmakemegofuck.blogspot.com

I'm reading this wonderfully written, with clever interjections of wit and colourful descriptions that allow you to totally delve into her world, diary by her. She, who is a writer, an independent woman, and what really got me reading so many (20+) entries in a row, a girlfriend.

She's got no photos, none i see so far, on the blog, but really, the words more than make up for it.

I see the similarities, and there are entries that spark off memories I had with my boy. The one where she talked about how she planned a surprise for the boyfriend. And I remember (with much guilt) about the many times the boy has appeared on my doorstep, and I'm always armed with an excuse ("oh, i was tired/busy/kinda saw this coming.") to defend my less-than-surprised reactions. And it tugs at my heartstrings, to see the light going out of his eyes unmistakably, as all that he had imagined did not happen.

The one which she cried and cried as her pilot of a boyfriend jetted all around the world, leaving her behind with her insecurities. And I'm reminded of the many cold wars I've started, and when we think back on why I started getting sullen and cold, it's always because I felt insecure. I'm thankful that you're ever so forgiving, relentlessly cooing and persuading me to break out of from my moods. But there was that big fight just that day, the one which we both went to bed angry and disheartened. It was then I know that all these must be taking a toll on you, all my childish episodes, the incessant crying, the stubborn pout on my lips.

I've lost track of the number of times my girlfriends talk about their boyfriends, and I just have to go, "oh my gosh!! he does that tooo!!". Every love story has their own endings.

but really, it's all not that different, is it?

2008-02-21T01:27:00.001+08:00

the boy read the previous post and was indignant that i wrote 12 roses, instead of FOURTEEN which he had bought. so there everyone, it was 1-4. not twelve, paisehhh dear! :D

2008-02-18T01:04:00.007+08:00

A flip-book for you, with our story simplified.

lately, (or rather for the past months) i've really lost the drive to blog, to record every snippet of my life. but valentine's day just passed!! and i think i really should take down whatever happened, on the very first vday i had someone of the opposite gender to celebrate the love with. :D

so, the few weeks building up to the day itself, i had kinda convinced myself he wouldnt be getting me flowers, because smart alec me had told him not to, and even stupidly added in that, i dun even like flowers, so dun waste money on them. but as v-day drew closer, it dawned on me that perhaps, i'll be rather disappointed if i really DONT receive flowers that day. because, despite the all too wellknown fact about how flowers' prices are ridiculously jacked up and they wither in a matter of days, there's just something rather significant in a boyfriend STILL spending money on flowers for the girlfriend, despite all the reasons not to.

so when the doorbell rang, and the doorhole displayed a smattering of pink, blue and white pressed against it, i was more than thrilled. and true enough, there was my boy, with a bouquet of 12 pink roses, lavender forget-me-nots and lovely little bushes of baby's breath. :)

headed to school with him for a short one hour of classes (more than half the class was absent!! goodness, paktoring over studies. haha) and then, it was off to john's for couple bbq with elly too!! haha, really didn't envision vday being that way, but it was pretty fun!! :D with all the sparklers and yummy food fit for ten. :)

and then back to my place, where the boy urged me to go bathe, cause he had to type an email. or so he claims, cause when i came out, there was the gigantic star-lamp, which i had kinda swooned over for a while in school, hanging in the corner of the room, with my laptop screen flashing the words "you'll always be the star in my life". awwwwwwwww.

alright, i am now currently in search of the best ways to preserve the flowers, before they DO wither, or moult or just have petals falling off. do contribute if you have any ideas to shareee!!

2008-01-18T22:13:00.000+08:00

its times like today that make me step back from us, and ponder on all the things that've happened, all the changes in me.

when you and your friend said goodbye to me at the doorway, and i had to turn and leave, it suddenly struck me that, it has been quite a while. quite a while since i've walked a path alone. since i haven't had your hand in mine, your arm around me. since i've had the time to think about thoughts myself, and talk inwardly to myself. since i've started to feel conscious about the world beyond us, and all the strangers around. since i've had to lead myself down the stairs. since i've had an empty seat beside me on the bus.

since i felt, so alone.

it's quite alarming, just four months over, and i'm already feeling like i would crumple and die if i didn't see, talk or hear from you for more than a day. or is the short period of time we are together, the exact reason why im feeling this way? hmm.

maybe it isnt the best of choices i had made, okay i didnt exactly make it, but that i had allowed myself to gradually, but surely, be totally dependent on your company, on you being there physically and mentally. for you to wholly and solely fill up my life. but turning back doesn't seem to be a choice any longer.

only four months over. goodness. love is a scary thing.

anyways, that day me, audrey, yaozong, weiye and dear went to sentosa. it was SUPPOSED to be a cutenachos outing, but anyone who can count would have realised it was a really really meagre number of people who turned up. but it's alright!! because we had funn anyway! :D

oh and i cut my fringe, so now ive got bangs for the first time since i was a kid!! you can laugh, but not in my face k! cause i like them! :)

2007-12-24T11:59:00.000+08:00

ohh, and some Royal Carribean Cruise photos!! there was a series of threes-a-crowd photos we crazy people took, which was plain hilarious.

-sniggers.

2007-12-24T11:39:00.000+08:00

my lovely little secret mission worked out perfectly!

that lone almost-one-hour bus-trip, with me trying to hold in my headache and balancing cake, tealights, present. having to dream up various white lies to keep dear's suspicions at bay, and i couldnt even occupy myself with talking with dear on the phone, lest he hears the bus-stopping sounds and engine roars. sneaking into the condo and up onto the rooftop all by myself, in the dead of night. scorching myself so many times with the nasty lighter and tealights which wouldnt light. that long phonecall with dear, in the stuffy room. the twelve o'clock that never seemed to come, and when it did, went by like a bang. half-tripping and half-singing up the stairs, with birthday cake in hand. dear was so touched he teared a bit, which made me feel all was really worth it. and you were right ros! the headache DID disappear the minute i saw him. :) all that hugging and mass-blowout of candles. the dangerous drive home at 3.30am.

such a lovely night.

a very happy birthday to my one and only dearest jiayang.